The new couch comes today

After 7 years, we finally bit the bullet and went out and bought a new couch. The old one we had was pretty cheap and was literally falling apart. Having a 4 year old jumping on it didn't help matters out much. It was also much to small for the living room that we have now. It worked fine in the condo, but not in this house....nor did it match the walls I painted last year.

So we will see if the delivery guys actually show up in the "window" that they have given me.

My girl made me so sad tonight

This morning when I was getting ready for work, Caityn was very upset that I had work and she didn't have school. She was crying horribly saying that she wanted to stay home with me today. Now normally, I would say to hell with work, and do some stuff from home and hang out with her all day. But I absolutely couldn't today. There were things that I had to get done and I had to be in the office to accomplish them. So I promised her that we would go to Chuck E Cheese's after work with Kelly and she felt a little better. Okay, ALOT better...I am so not beneath bribery with this child.

So I get her from my mom and off we go. And she is loving every minute of it. However, this glee was quickly marred. See we still struggle every now and again with pooping on the potty. But I can't remember the last time she had an accident....you can completely see where this is going no?

I witness her doing the pooping dance. This consists of her sitting down wherever she is at and bouncing her legs. Or as she is running, she is holding her ass. To the commoner, it looks like nothing out of the ordinary. To the trained eye of the mother of this child, I know full well what is going to occur. So I ask several times if she needs to take care of business in the bathroom. And of course she reassures me that I have nothing at all to worry about.

So the time comes to leave. I am just about to put her coat on and when I turn to face her, she has her pants around her ankles. For a split second, I actually giggle, then it dawns on me what she is doing. She is looking to see if there is in fact poop in her pants. And what do you think I saw...yes....poop. I quickly yank her pants back up and I am fuming....and she knows it. She asks me to take her in the bathroom and I tell her no can do, have no spares with me. Will clean you up when we get home.

So now she starts sobbing....screaming....people are looking. But it's okay you see, because they think that she is crying because she doesnt want to leave. Nothing looks out of the ordinary. And I am refraining from looking at her or speaking to her. Because I know then that the scene will look anything but ordinary. There will be a maniacal mother at Chuck E Cheese and innocent children don't need to see that.

We proceed to the car, she proceeds to tell me how badly it smells...I know, I have a nose, you don't have to tell me. And I continue to tell her that we will discuss it when we get home. Mostly because I don't want her to be embarrassed in front of Kelly. she keeps on asking me if I am mad and I keep on telling her that we aren't talking about it until we get home.

Then she pulls this beauty out of thin air.......

"You're mad at me because you don't want me anymore."

To say the least I was fucking shocked. Where on earth would she ever come up with that??? I don't think I have ever said anyting even remotely close to that to this child. The only thing that I can think of is that it is something that Kelly has mentioned to her. (Side note and brief synopsis...Kelly has been given up by her mother, adopted by a family, given back to foster home by that family as they said they couldn't handle her, lived in foster home a couple of years, now living with my mother.) So I am thinking that somewhere along the last few months, Kelly has mentioned being bad, not being wanted, and being given away. Makes sense right???

So we get home, I clean her up, and tell her how disappointed I am that she did it. Then we proceed to the couch to have a talk about what she said. No need to go into details, I am sure you can imagine what was said....I would never give you away, I love you, etc. The entire time, she sobbed. As if she was so sure that I really didn't want her.

So now, mom feels like shit, girl feels better. I didn't even have to bribe her to make her feel better about the whole situation either....so we all win!

Sick sick people on this planet

Since adding this sitemeter to this blog, I am oftren unnerved by what people google. I won't go into details about that, since that's not what this entry is about. But believe me, some of the things are freakish. And what's worse is that the words they are searching I have actually typed in here somewhere.

But I digress.

Today my friend Shelley discovered by chance that some sick fuck is using pictures of her truly adorable son Jacob and passing them off as photos of her own child. Now, Jacob is a preemie, a 25 weeker like Caitlyn. And what amazes me, besides the fact that she has taken these images, is that she wants peolpe to believe that she is currently going through the hell of having a micro preemie. She is saying that her sons (twins) are 23 weekers. See it's this whole preemier than thou issue, hers must be older. Despite the fact that they aren't even her kids. I find it so hard to believe that anyone would want sympathy, or empathy, based solely on the fact that their child is so gravely ill that he may die???? Anyone who has had a preemie would never wish that experience of the NICU on their worst enemies. (well maybe their worst, but no one else I assure you) The idea that she is glorifying and trying to capitalize on people's emotions based on an ill child is truly inconcievable to me. When you have a child as sick as a 25 weeker, you want nothing more than normalcy. Is that true for the opposite as well? That when you have a healthy baby, you want nothing more than the "fame" of having a 25 weeker??? My gut tells me no.

So here are the pics that she is posting. The first is Shelley's son Jacob and the second...well I have no idea who that baby is. If you recognize it, alert the mother that she is claiming this child to be her own!

Sick sick people in this world!

Let it snow.....

Famous Words of Caitlyn
It has been snowing here for about 6 hours now. And it is finally starting to slow down. I have already shovelled once...my back now loves me to bits. Tomorrow morning, Matt is on duty to remove what has accumulated since I last did it.

On a side note....never allow a 4 year old to shovel with you. It is their goal in life to fill the empty spots with snow. Just ask Caitlyn, she will tell you that she was "filling the holes I was making." Nice.

I love my job, I love my job, I love my job......

So one of the duties of my job is to do after school classes or trainings for school districts. So there is one district in particular, they have no interest in Assistive Technology whatsoever. And the worst part about it is that they are the people that need it the most...doesn't it always work that way.

So I go to this school (which will remain unnamed as I have heard of people losing their jobs because of things they have placed on their blogs) to do an inservice of an overview of assistive technology. Mind you, much of the preparation has really already been done since I have done it far too many times that I care to count. But I typicallly personalize it for that district; what kinds of students they work with, staff's abilities with technology, and what is already in the district that they have to work with. So there is some planning and prep time that is involved in it, all be it minimal.

Inservice is slated to begin at 3:00. Which means teachers will get there by 3:07. As I sit here and write this now, it is nearing 3:30....NO ONE has come. It's almost as though I threw a party and no one decided to be there. At first I felt guilty, but hey, I get paid regardless. And when you as a teacher can't provide what a student needs and the parents come marching into the next IEP with lawyers and advocates they better not come crying to me...cause I offered and they didn't take me up on it. I have even had the secretary make an announcement that I am sitting in here,....still no takers!

So I will sit here until I am supposed to. All by myself. And just keep reminding myself that I really do love my job.

Weddings

I really love weddings. And I always make sure that I go to the ceremony and not just the reception. Seeing as that really is the most important part of the day. Matt and I attended a wedding on Saturday for one of his assistant coaches. See we had to be there cause Matt has to do the "networking" thing. Here's my beef (besides the fact that I couldn't find anything to wear in my closet that would cover up my ginormous breasts, but that is another post in and of itself)....

My invitation said the ceremony was to start at 5pm. They were getting married in the hall where the reception was to be held. Now the place where this was ocurring was about 45 minutes away from our house. So we left at 3:45 as we needed to stop and buy a card cause I never do that early. We arrive at the hall at about 4:45pm and sit in the car for a few minutes signing the car and writing the check out for the happy couple. We enter the hall at abou 5:53 and find seats. Several people arrive after us, and even more arrive after them.

Now, I can understand a wedding beginning a few minutes after it is supposed to. I can even understand it beginning 15020 minutes after it is supposed to. However, to start a wedding at 6:05pm that was slated to start at 5:00????? Well I'm sorry, but I think that is just fucking ignorant. We were sitting on this little chairs that were all placed to close to each other. So you could hardly move. And everytime you did move, you felt as though the damn chair was going to break under the stress of holding up adult sized asses.

Suffice it to say, by the time the ceremony began, Nancy was a very cranky girl.

Was a nice wedding, but marred by the insanity of the whole hour and 5 minutes late thing.

Now I know why I am never on time for things!

Thanksgiving

I do have loads to be thankful for this year, as I have for the last 4 years. There are days when I get so bummed about finances and work and just life in general. But once I take a step back and look at what is going on around me in my life, I have to realize that it really isn't all so bad. I mean really, there is someone who is always worse off than I am technically speaking. So there is a lot in life that I am truly thankful for. Obviously, my health, husband, and child, and roof over my head, food on the table....all the typical things that we always say that we are thankful for.

But today I was thinking about all the little things in life that I appreciate. See, there are a slew of things that Cate will say to me from time to time that just make my heart melt.

...."Mommy, can we go up to your bed and be snuggle bunnies?"

...."You're the best Mommy a daughter could ever have."

...."I love when you read me bedtime stories Mom."

....Singing her princess songs at the top of her lungs in the back seat when we're driving.

...."I love you as big as the sky and moon and stars Mommy."

.... "I love you Mommy."

So today I thought about my girlie and how thankful I am that, first and foremost, she is here with me and able to say all of these wonderful things; but also how excellent they make me feel when she says them. If they make me feel this incredible as an adult, I can only imagine how they make her feel inside when I say some of the same things to her :)

Romance Titles gone wrong

I am not a fan of romance novels. They have just never appealed much to me. Thesse on the other hand could be quite interesting to read.

So I stumbled upon these somehow and thought they were just too good to keep to myself. I got them from The Wonderful World of Longmire. I wonder what the actual titles of some of them are???

McDonald's PlayLands

As a child, the playland of Mcdonald's is truly an amazing sight to behold. Imagine being 4 years old and being told by adults that this is the one time that you are allowed to run, jump, climb, slide, scream....all indoors. It truly is the mecca for toddlers and children.

On the flip side of this, there is the parents view of the playlands. To name a few of the horrific things: germs, screaming children, germs, extremely loud noise, germs, parents that don't watch their children, germs, children that don't listen to their parents, germs, horrible food, germs. Did I mention the germs that float around that place???? But we go anyway. Not for the nutritional aspect, nor the quality time spent with your child, but to prevent the tantrums that could ensue when you tell your child that they can't go. Well, that, and the hopes that they will be so damn tired by the time that they get home that they pas right out for the night.

So off to the play land we venture tonight. I drag Matt with me as I am not going to be the only parent to suffer through it. As we are walking up to the door, it is obvious that there is a birthday party going on in there. At least that's what I suspected it was with all the balloons and streamers hanging around. However, upon entering, I quickly learn that it is not a birthday party, but....a baby shower?? I am a little taken a back by this as I can't imagine having such an event at Mcdonald's. Matt quickly reminds me that maybe the employees were throwing it for a coworker. Or maybe someone was just being silly, after all, my mother did throw me a 21st birthday party at Burger King.

So we get our food and enter the playland area to sit down. So that rather than Caitlyn eating, she can run around like a maniac and I can plead with her to eat and threaten her 1000 times that if she doesn't eat we are leaving. (Which by the way, I never follow through on that threat.) However, there are no seats to be had. Why? Because there are about 25 guests at this baby shower...and only about 5 of them are children. Not only have they taken up all the seats with their adult size asses, but they have monopolized the tables for all the food they had catered in as well as using one table for cutting watermelon. Yes, you read all of that correctly. Let me break it down for you...

1. Baby Shower at McDonald's Playland
2. Approximately 20 adults in attendance
3. Food catered into playland
4. Watermelon being cut up on one of the tables
5. Gift table that uses up another 3 tables

So I am naturally thoroughly pissed off beyond all comprehension. Here I am paying way too much for food that I am convinced really doesn't even come from an animal, and my kid can't sit in there to play. So I start ranting, much to Matt's dismay. But he knows this is who I am..that I am so not quiet about things like this, especially when they are so fucking out of the ordinary. I storm back into the restaurant part and continue to piss and moan. And my anger is only intensified with every mutter of "it's not fair that I can't sit in there" from the girl.

Finally, I put all Cate's food back into the bag, tell her to take her damn shoes off, leave Matt sitting in the booth, and storm into the Playland so my child can have her 20 minutes of sheer elation. I snag a chair as all of the party guests are in line and sit my adult sized ass on it. A woman comes up to me and says, "Excuse me I was sitting there." Now....I take a few deep breaths before speaking, when what I really want to do is tell her to fuck off and punch her in the face. But I refrain. I simply look at her and say, "Oh? I'm sorry." But I don't get up, I continue to sit. Cause damn it, they can't have all the chairs and tables for their watermelon.

Here is my plan. Tomorrow I will be calling. I will be telling the manager that as a paying customer, I am not a happy camper that there is nowhere to sit in there because of the baby shower. I will also be sure to mention that there were 2 employees in there enjoying watermelon in their uniforms instead of cleaning tables or making burgers or whatever the hell they were supposed to be doing. With any luck, I will get some free food (or whatever it is they really serve). And chances are, I will be back there next weekend to sit and suffer through all of the aforementioned atrocities.

She is wise beyond her years

It is funny to me at times how kids are just so literal. They pretty much take everything that you say to them at face value. Which I suppose isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes maybe we as adults look too deep for the meaning, when the kid sees it clearly for what it is.

Caitlyn has somewhat of an "outie" belly button, what it known around our house as her "nubby button." This little appendage of hers is the beautiful result of being bron so early and having so many wires attached to it. I often tell people that it looks like the knuckle of a finger LOL.

So we are on the couch and I am pulling at the nubby button and tickling her, resulting in her squealing. She then asks to ssee my nubby button, which really isn't a button at all as it is an inny. She looks at it confused, pokes at it, and says, "how come I can't push yours in like we can push mine in?" Now not wanting to give this child a load of medical terminology about lines and IVs, I take a few seconds to ponder what I should tell her. When she so graciously figures out the answer on her own...

"I know why yours is different from mine mom. It is because all people are made different, but we still love them."

Better than ANY answer I could have come up with to give her.

Caught in the act

I have debated for a few days now on whether or not to blog this incident. However, Shawnee has given me the courage and strength to know that I can. Actually, after reading her incident, I know that nothing I post here could be nearly as horrific as that. As a sidenote, I must tell you Shawnee that I about pissed my pants reading that entry, though I do feel for you, know that it is a fabulous story.

As a child, whenever there was mention of your parents having sex, remember how uncomfortable that made you feel? As an adult, it may still. But so many people have that one very vivid memory of walking in on their parents having sex. Now when they are too young to know what is actually happening, it isn't so horrible. But it's when you know that the image of it has been seared onto their brain that you worry about their psychological future. By now, I am sure you know where this is going, but I will continue anyway because it is not the fact that we were "caught" rather than what my child's reaction was.

Tuesday afternoon, I approach my darling husband with the idea of a quickie, mid afternoon, while the girl is quietly enjoying some Mini Oreos and a cartoon. Naturally he jumps at the chance. Because I am so hot? Not likely. Because he is a man about to be laid and he is not going to miss the opportunity of that. So we sneak up to the bedroom and leave the girl quietly watching her cartoons and said snack.

Time passes, I can't recall how much as I was "in the moment." When suddenly there are footsteps in the room and Caitlyn is literally squealing with glee. Yelling at the top of her lungs.....

"THAT LOOKS LIKE FUN!!!"

Needless to say the "moment" I was so captured in is quickly GONE!!! I tell Caitlyn to go get her pillow from her room so that we can lounge together. Giving me those precious few moments to don my clothing and Matt can race into the bathroom to remove certain coverings from his body. When Caitlyn reenters the room, she is very quick to ask me what Daddy and I were doing.

My mind races...searching for something appropriate to say other than...well I don't know what, but something believable. So I tell her that daddy was tickling Mommy. Is this a lie, not really. Just an understatement of sorts. Caityln being who she is responds...

"I want daddy to tickle me too."

Matt being who he is responds....

"Maybe in some parts of the country (I won't say what state he mentioned so as not to offend readers) but not here in Chicago honey."

I don't think that she was scarred by this incident as she truly believes Daddy was in fact tickling Mommy. Poor Matt will never get an afternoon quickie again while Caitlyn still resides in this house.

Parent Teacher Conferences

Tonight Matt and I attended our first parent teacher conference....as parents. We have both attended several over the last 8 years or so, but they never revolved around our own child. So this was interesting to us. Not to mention the fact that we were both a little confused as to what there really is to "confer" about when it comes to Pre K. But we went none the less because we don't want to be "those parents."

Top of the list, teacher said my child is very very bright. Which of course just makes me want to jump across the table and hug and kiss her. It was after she spoke those very words that the one topic I wanted to ask her about left my mind. You see I needed more room up there for her to fill with dotings of my child. Which she most graciously did. Telling me how she loves to read and she always has such great things to say about the book that they are reading. And how when Caitlyn isn't there, she wishes that she was cause the other children don't always "get" what's going on in the story. But of course my child does cause she's brilliant right? Regardless of whether or not she says this to every parent who walked in that room tonight, I could care less.

So why is it so important to me that my kid has her wits about her? Well, I know I don't have to tell the preemie parents that read this. But for those who don't have preemies, it's because of all those damn doctors who told me the horror stories of what could have been with this little girl. So to them, I now say, "Kiss my ass. We have arrived." Ah, I shouldn't be so harsh on them. They were all wonderful to us and most importantly, to Caitlyn. And naturally I am forever grateful. But I am reveling in the moment, and want to stay there for a while.

The teacher did say though that she sometimes worries about Caitlyn's physical abilities. In a nut shell, she has no coordination and seems to always be the child that is getting knocked over on the playground. I have had no less than 3 phone calls from the school telling me that she has been hurt on the playground, one of which resulted in a minor concussion. But we knew this about Cate. See, she is Matt's child. And well, apples and trees you know. They are going to keep an eye on her and if need be, contact the PT and get her on a 504 Plan to get her some consultative services with the PT. In English, that is a step down from an IEP. Meaning, the school needs to provide her with something for the area that she is lacking in.

There is also the concern about some of her sensory issues. Mainly, loud noises. Poor girl can't stand them. And it seems to have gotten worse since school has started. But again, this is something that is manageable. So we are not fretting.

So all in all a fabulous conference. If that's what you call chatting for 8.72 minutes.

Fall Fun

This picture reminds me of ET in the closet....though she is a little easier to pick out as she isn't an alien with gigantic eyes.

We spent the morning raking leaves...Cate and Kelly spent the afternoon jumping in them, causing us to have to rake them again.

The Halloween Festivities

I hate the smell of pumpkin guts, I hate the feel of pumpkin guts, in a nutshell, I hate pumpkin guts. But my child goes to school now and they tell her all of these things that a parent is supposed to do with their children on Halloween. So I sucked it up and took one for the team and carved the stupid pumpkin. She was supposed to help, but didn't. Cause guess what?? Like me, she hates the smell of pumpkin guts and hates the feel of pumpkin guts. There's those damn sensory issues rearing their ugly heads again. Only this time, it is to my benefit. Caitlyn said we should have just painted the pumpkin. So next year, that is precisely what we shall be doing.


And here is the finished product. At least it does in fact resemble what a pumpkin should look like. Those people that do all those fancy things with their pumpkins....well, they must have loads of patience and forearm muscles from hell. Because after scooping for only 15 minutes I thought my arms were going to fall off.

We awake this morning to screeches of glee that it is Halloween and there is a party at school and a parade at school and she FINALLY gets to wear her costume.



And I could understand why she would want to cause holy shit does she look adorable in it.

Of we go to trick or treating this evening. And of course it rains becuase it hasn't rained all day. Luckily the temperature wasn't too awful so we were able to stay out and play in the rain. Paired with begging for candy and getting it, what could be better in life for a 4 year old??

And on the second day, the Lord created...

Here is my confession of the day (or year). I can count on one hand the number of times that Caitlyn has been in a church. Not that I am against it or anything, but Sunday is a day of rest in the land of the Walshes. I just can never muster up the strength and energy to get up early to go to church. And to have to figure out an additional days worth of clothing for Caitlyn and I is really a task.

My 16 year old cousin has attended a church down the street from me for about 6 or so years. I really don't even know what religion this church is. Matt and I often refer to it as "The Cult." Not that they are like Jamestown or anything, but sometimes my cousin has some views on things that she has learned from this church that just strike me as odd. Granted it could be that she is now 16 and has her own views, who knows. Anyhow, she is there every Friday night for "group." Seems very similar to Awana when she has described it to me. Her younger sister, whom my mother now also has custody of, was going with her this past Friday. So naturally, Caitlyn wanted to go as well. After discussin it with the 16 year old, she assured me that there was a group of children there in the 3-4 year old group and that Caitlyn would have a wonderful time.

Off they went.

I get a call about 2 hours after they have gotten there from a luaghing 16 year old. Imagine my child, who again has very little exposure to any religion, sitting in a small group discussing religion. Here is the conversation my cousin tell sme ensues...

Teacher: Does anyone know what God created on the second day? (they had already discussed his very busy first day)

Students: raising hands in the air shouting I know I know I know, my daughter included

Teacher: Caitlyn what do you think God created on the second day?

Caitlyn: Well he created the sun.

Now, I know I am a teacher, and I know my child is brilliant, but who in the world has taught her some of the things that she knows??? Cause it sure as hell HAS NOT been me or Matt. I mean honestly, is this something that they are now talking about on Sesame Street? I am really at a loss as to where she would have gotten this info from and retained it no less.
Of course when she gets home I ask her about how she knew this information and who gave it to her. Her response is very clear and makes perfect sense to me (I think)

"I just thought about it in my brain mommy and knew that was the answer."

Needless to say, next Friday she wants to go again......and Matt and I are now part of "The Cult."

They actually did it!!!

Hard to believe but true. I am so excited that a Chicago team has actually won some sort of championship game. Since the Bulls stopped being "Da Bulls" we haven't had a decent team around here in quite a while. Witht he exception of the Cubs. Yes they have had a couple good season in the last few years....and well, that always ends poorly.



Matt and I decided that we were happy not to be living in our old neighborhood on the southside last night. I can only imagine how loud and insane it must have been down there last night!





GO SOX!!!!

3-0

WOW!!! I am so not a baseball fan. But holy cow, who would have thought that a Chicago team could actually make it to the World Series, much less have a 3 game lead (by the end of the 3rd game no less). I am amazed and so excited to think that they may actually win this thing.

Now, next year belongs to the Cubs (say it with me, maybe it will make it actually happen)

Survey says.....

All of the girl's bloodwork came back within normal limits. How this is possible with all the symptoms this kid is showing, I have no idea. And to be honest, I really don't give a shit. I am just thrilled to death that my little girlie isn't suffering from such a debilitating disease. And now my husband can stop beating himself up over the issue. I have been elated for the last few hours since I found out and pretty much plan on staying that way for several more hours. I have a sugared up kid to prove it too...LOL

The first thing Caitlyn said to me after I told her that her blood test came back perfect was.....

"That means I can have all the snacks I want and cookies too?!?!"

See we had the discussion about if we test her blood and the number is too high then she wouldn't be able to have certain snacks. What I thought was conversation that was over her head and would really take her a while to absorb and understand, it turns out that she "got it" the entire time.

Tough Weekend

Good news first....Matt's football team has won their conference and they are now in the playoffs. The goal is to win the next 4 (or 5 I can't remember) games and he will coach his team at Soldier Field. To say that he would be ecstatic would be the understatment of the year. I think if he were given the opportunity to do this, he would die a very happy man. So keeps fingers and all other appendages crossed that he makes it and his team does well over the next month.

Now on to Caitlyn's business. Lately she has been peeing like a madwoman and having some accidents and doesn't even realize that they are happening. She has also been wetting the bed every night and a few nights ago actually wet it twice in one night. And when I say accident and wet, I really mean saturate. It is an extroadinary amount of urine that she expels. She has also been constantly telling me that she is thirsty. Now normally this wouldn't bother me, but she actually uses that word instead of just asking for some juice or milk or whatever. The fact that she is telling me how very thirsty she is has led Matt and I to a very frightening thought.

All of these things are symptoms of diabetes. Because her father has it, she is obviously at risk. So on Satuday morning, we decided to test her blood sugar just to put Mom's mind at ease and prevent her from automatically jumping to the wrong conclusion. (as I sometimes have a tendency to do) Lo and behold, the number that appeared was one that about stopped my heart....156. Norm range for healthy person, 80-120. So although it is not much higher than the norm, it is high none the less. Meaning that there is something going on in that little body of hers. So on the phone to the ped's office to get an apoointment for Monday am so that they can run blood work. Down side to that, she must fast.

Fast forward to Monday, today, and a starving girl who has not been able to eat or drink for damn near 15 hours. The doc was visibly unnerved by the number that we got on Saturday (on Sunday morning when we tested it was 80 which has me thoroughly confused). He is also concerned with the fact that she is peeing so very much and asking for fluids. He has drawn some blood and will be running a host of tests on it. The most important test that he will be looking at is the A1C. This will basically give him an idea of what her blood sugars have been in the past and whether or not she has been having high blood sugars. It may also look for unusual lows, I'm not exactly sure.

So we are now in the wait and see stage. We have had to do that so many times in this little girls 4 short years that when I hear those words, I want to hot the person saying them. Hopefully we will have some answers by tomorrow, Wednesday at the latest. When all is said I done, I just want him to say that it was a fluke, but my gut is telling me something much different from that.

I am losing my Patients

You know, it's funny how difficult the English language really is. It is amazing to me that people manage to learn it as a second language and even more amazing that it just comes so naturally to so many of us. Things like bow...how many of you read that as bow as in something that goes in hair or bow as in bending your body in half? Yet, we all figure it out and it is simple for most of us.

Well, I am sure that for a child, the learning process that goes on while they are hearing and speaking all of these words, is tremendous. And every now and again, they show you that it really doesn't just come naturally. Sometimes they need to understand that there are words known as Homophones. Words that sound alike, but have 2 different spellings and meanings. But can you really explain a homophone to a 4 year old? No. They just have to take your word for it that you know what you are talking about despite the fact that what you just said has a completely different meaning to them than it
did for you.

Take for example the scenario in my house last night....
Caitlyn is being her usual self and driving me crazy before bed. Not wanting to pick up her toys, not wanting to come by me so I can bathe her, not wanting to basically do anything that I tell her to. Naturally, voices get raised and a pouting child is the end result with some whimpering (on both our parts).

Mom: "Caitlyn come over here now."
Caitlyn: "Mom I just....."
Mom: "Caitlyn, I am losing my patience."
Caitlyn" crying at this point "But you're not even a doctor."

Fight over, Mom laughs and hugs child and says come on goofy let's go take a bath. Does she know why I was no longer aggravated? No. Did I explain the difference between patience and patients? No. Why? Cause that probably would have ended up in another power struggle between the two of us and I just wanted to laugh at the moment. (and get her ass in bed.)

11 Rules to Life

I have seen this before. It has actually been passed around as some speech that Bill Gates supposedly gave. In truth it is from the book "Dumbing Down our Kids." Regardless of where it came from, I think it speaks volumes and should be given to all kids in school so that they could actually learn from it. Not like I am some wise parent or anything, but I think there are important things to be said in this.

RULE 1
Life is not fair - get used to it.

RULE 2
The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world
will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel
good about yourself.

RULE 3
You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out
of high school. You won't be a vice president with
car phone, until you earn both.

RULE 4
If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a
boss. He doesn't have tenure.

RULE 5
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your
grandparents had a different word for burger flipping
they
called it Opportunity.

RULE 6
If you mess up,it's not your parents' fault, so don't
whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

RULE 7
Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as
they are now. They got that way from paying your bills,
cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about
how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest
from the parasites of your parent's generation, try
delousing the closet in your own room.


RULE 8
Your school may have done away with winners and losers,
but life has not. In some schools they have abolished
failing grades and they'll give you as many times as
you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the
slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

RULE 9
Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get
summers off and very few employers are interested in
helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

RULE 10
Television is NOT real life. In real life people
actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

RULE 11
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for
one.

It's Tough Being Her

I am not an ideal parent. I have had my share of screw ups with this child. Suffice it to say, that there are some things I have done that surprise me she has lived through them. Like the time that I hit her so hard in the head with my wedding ring that the child actually bled. This was of course on accident.

Not being the ideal parent, sometimes things come out of my mouth around her that really shouldn't. We all remember her favorite word for a while was none other than fuck. So when she is having a "melt down" or throwing a tantrum, I often look at her very unemotionally and say "It really isn't easy being Caitlyn is it." Of course there is a little sarcasm in my voice and I should probably talk to her to see what the problem is. But she always manages to pull this at very inopportune moments...like when I am in line at the grocery store or something.

The other day, she fell or did something else that caused her grief. I go into her bedroom to ask her what is wrong cause I can hear the ever famous I am acting like I am crying sound so that someone, anyone, will come to rescue me. She looks at me and says....

"Sometimes it's not easy to be me right Mommy?"

Busy Weekend

Seems we never really got a chance to relax all weekend, and I have the messy house and laundry to prove it.
Friday we went to Six Flags Great America. Every year, my brother's complany rents out the park for a private party. It is wonderful because all the lines are a fraction of what they normally are. This is the first time that we brought Caitlyn with us and she had an absolute ball. Of course, I forgot my camera at home, so I didn't get a single picture of her enjoying the hell out of the roller coasters that she was bog enough to go on. They have a roller coaster called "The Whizzer" and this child would have spent the entire night riding this thing if I would have allowed it. Thank goodness she has my genes and loves roller coasters. She was so upset that she couldn't go on the larger ones that went upside down.

Saturday we just ran around most of the day doing errands and such. Matt and I went to see The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Can I just say holy shit was that a good movie. And I will be haunted by the images of it forever, just like I am of The Exorcist. I hate those movies, but feel compelled to see them...must be the masochist in me.

Today we had our NICU reunion and it was a wonderful day. It is the first that they have had since our "graduation." It was so nice seeing all the doctors and nurses that took care of my wee one. And it was nice seeing them in a setting which didn't entail my begging and pleading for answers LOL. Today I remembered my camera and got some pictures. The best part of the day was that we saw some of the families that were there the same time as us that we have lost touch with. Here's a few snapshots from that. The first pic is a girl that is also a 25 weeker and about a month younger than Cate. The second is a boy that is a 26 weeker and is also about a month younger. Both of these families had a significant impact on ours lives in one way or another so it was wonderful to see them and the little ones again.

What job should you really be doing?

Took this right off of Cath's Blog

What Job Should You Really Be Doing?

Here's the answer it gives me with my married name....
Nancy Walsh, Your ideal job is a drag queen.

And for the maiden name....
Nancy Chirempes, Your ideal job is a Heavyweight Boxer.

Hmmmmmm....I am thinking a career change may be in order.

But on the flip side, if I put in Caitlyn's name with her middle name, she has the best job of all...
Caitlyn Mackenzie Walsh, Your ideal job is a God for everyone.
I always knew this child was destined for greatness, I just never imagined it to that extent.

Caitlyn had a wonderful first day of school.  She didn't sleep well last night cause she was so excited.  So waking her up this morning was no treat.  But once up and going, she was rearing to go!

Parents are encouraged to stay with the kids the first day, so it was really crowded in the room.  Caitlyn, being who she is, would have done fine if I wasn't there at all.  Seemed all she wanted to do was include me in the activities that they were doing and I had to keep telling her to just play with her friends and listen to the teacher.  She did everything that they told her to do and got in the swing of the routine very quickly.  She played in the sand table, on the computer, and "wrote" in her journal.  Which the journal writing thing I think is a very cool idea and may have to pass it along to some of the Early Childhood teachers that I know. 

They also have a program to encourage reading to your children.  The fact that a program has to be in place for this is something that I truly don't understand.  Reading to Caitlyn has been part of our day since she was in the NICU.Before she could even open her eyes, we were reading to her in her isolette.  So they give the kids a book from their library every day and it is supposed to be read to them.  Then the parent fills out a form to send back to school.  The teacher and aide will ask the child to tell them about the book the next day.  The only interferrence this is really going to have in our lives is that Caitlyn will probably be irritated that she can't pick out one of her own books to be read to her at night.  So essentially, I know that I am now going to be reading more than one book at bedtime with this child. 

She keeps telling people that she got "homework" because she has this library book in her backpack now.  And she is terribly excited about that fact.  Give her a couple years and she will be pissed off when she has to carry books home in her backpack.  But for now, I am letting her enjoy the hell out of it :)

And for the wardrobe for the day, Caitlyn chose to wear the rainbow sundress.  Which is one of my favorites so all was well...and she was one of the cutest kids in the class if I do say so myself ( not that I am biased or anthing).

Tomorrow is the big day

My wee one is starting PreK tomorrow. Makes me a little sad, yet I am happy that she is going. I get to go with her tomorrow. They have the kids come in groups MOnday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, with the parents. And then on Thursday, the kids are finally all brought together as a group....without parents. I am pretty certain that Caitlyn will be dandy while she is there. Though, she could always turn on a dime and flip out for all we know. So I have been prepping her all last week that she is starting school at the "big girl school" on Tuesday.

My baby is getting bigger and bigger and bigger. I actually bought her size 4T pants that don't fall off of her when she walks. And I bought her some new shirts and they were size.....5!!!!! Is it possible that this child's growth is actually catching up to her age??

Now on to the real dilemma at hand....what is she going to wear tomorrow and Thursday so that she is just the cutest kid in the classroom ROFL!!!

Gas Prices

I really don't think that any further explanation on this one is necessary.

TV or TB Test

Caitlyn needed to have a TB test done in order to start PreK in September. This irritates me as she had one done last August in order to start at her former preschool and the new school will not accept those results as they will be over a year old. Mind you, the pediatrician is about a 57 minute drive from my house. You may be asking why I don't have a pediatrician that is closer...well I believe I posted about the nutjob of a doctor that I ended up with the last time I tried to switch, so I am sticking with what works and dealing with the trek at the moment.

So as Caitlyn does NOT like surprises, I have been prepping her about going to the doc for this TB test for about 2 days. Finally, the night before the test, she asks me if she needs to get a shot. This is when I break it to her that the TB test is actually a shot. And then I wait for the wailing to ensue. However, it does not. Caitlyn very calmly says to me...

"Mommy, why do I need a TV test? I know how to watch TV."

Needless to say, all that prepping that I did, yeah that was thrown right out the window as she obviously had no clue whatsoever about what I was speaking of for the last 2 days.

She fell in the toilet....again

Onl this time it was face first. Through my tears of laughter I managed to tell her that she was going to be ok and that it happens to all of us. Though I think the only time my face has been in a toilet has been after an evening of embibing in too many spirits. Imagine a very tired girl, who has had no nap all day, and it is almost 1 am. We had just gotten home from my mom's block party and I was getting the girl ready for bed. I tell her to try going potty and as she is struggling to get her panties off, she falls forward...and, well, the arm splashed in, the head went into the bowl, and the screaming (on her part) ensued, the laughing on my part began as well. I can only imagine that she made the situation that much more terrifying by screaming INTO the bowl and the echoing off the ceramic must have been horrifying. Once she was taken out and cleaned up, she was off to bed.

The next morning when I mentioned it to her, I know I am a glutton for punishment, she told me "No mommy, only my butt fell in last time." SO needless to say, she forgot about it and thinks it never happened. I think we are all better people because of that.

She hates babies

Yeah, so that's a pretty harsh statement. But it is exactly what she told me last night as we were sitting on the couch watching some TV. Caitlyn is always telling people that she wants me to have another baby, and of course it must be a girl, there will be NO little brothers according to her plan. She has even gone so far as to tell people that I currently have a baby in my belly. So last night's comments were a shock to say the least.

I said to her that it wasn't nice to say that she hated babies, there is no reason to hate them afterall. And she replies:

"But they cry all the time and give me a headache." (hello child, welcome to the nightmare that is one of your tantrums)

So I then say that if she hates babies, what would happen if mommy had another baby, would she hate it?

"No mommy. I only hate other people's babies."

I tell her that it's really not a nice thing to say. Babies can't help it if they cry, that's really all they know how to do. Well, cry and shit.

"Mommy, stop asking me questions abotu babies. I'm just crabby and don't want to talk about it."

Alrighty then, enough said.

Have you ever fallen into the toilet?

Caitlyn did last night. For those of you who have seen my little girlie, she is skinny, and has a skinny little butt. We are working on staying dry throughout the night and not wearing a pull up anymore. She has done so very well and has made me awfully proud. Well every night before she gets into bed, I tell her to try going pee. Last night she was being goofy and acting silly as she was walking. She enters the bathroom still being silly with me, I turn on the running water as it helps the process along, and caitlyn gets herself up on the potty.

Mom hears a scream, looks down, the kid is folded in half inside the toilet screaming.

Yes I proceed to laugh my ass off as I am pulling her out of the toilet. She is now crying hysterical and I am certain that ALL progress we have made with staying dry through the night as well as the day are surely "down the toilet." I calm her down and tell her that it is okay and she stops crying.

Here's where Caitlyn went wrong. As she was being goofy, she forgot to put on the little Elmo seat that fits on top of the larger toilet seat enabling her to sit comfortably.

Again, I replay the event in my head and start laughing hysterically. To which, Caitlyn begins laughing as well. We call Dad upstairs and she relives the funny experience to him as well.

Off to bed we go, but first, I need her to pee. I tell her to try before going to bed. She marches in the bathroom and screams, "I am not going to forget my Elmo seat this time because my butt is too small and it will fall into the water again."

She pees and is off to bed with a dry butt.

(Side note, 4th night in a row that she has managed to stay dry throughout the night...woooohoooo for us!)

The vacation has ended

It is true. Sadly. After 5 weeks of lounging and convinicing myself that I still had time to complete all of the things that I had not yet completed, my vacation has come to an end as of yesterday. Here's a quick recap of what "my summer vacation" consisted of:
1. sleeping until just about 10 am everyday
2. lounging around the house
3. doing laundry in the middle of the day when I had the energy to do so
4. going to the mall to shop in the early afternoon hours when the majority of the people there are over 50 years of age
5. having Caitlyn all to myself all day long (this was both a good and bad thing for both of us)
6. hanging out on mom's pool deck knowing that I didn't have to rush home to do anything or worry about getting home to get Cate to bed so that she wasn't cranky as hell in the morning
7. staying up until at least midnight or 1 am every night.

Now, there was some more productive things accomplished over the vacation. For example, I finally got around to printing up some of the pictures off of my camera's memory card. Mind you they have been on there since before we moved into our new house. Ummmm yeah, that was May of 2004. So yes, it has been a really large task. I also managed a small vacation with some of my girlfriends. We ended up in Twin Lakes Wisconsin for the Country Thunder event. Basically this is the Woodstock of country music. 5 days to myself and my friends, pure bliss. Other than that, there really wasn't much more accomplished other than the mundane tasks of everyday living that I was able to complete without being so damn tired after a full day of working.

It was horrible waking up yesterday, horrible leaving Caitlyn, and horrible working all day. But I figured as long as I am able to get through that first day back, the rest will be gravy right?

Wrong.

This morning was even worse. I woke up 33 minutes later than normal. So that automatically sets you off on the wrong foot. Luckily Cate was still asleep when I left so I didn't have that hurdle to jump again. However, when I stopped for gas, well let's just say that the owner of the station will be receiving a call from myself tonight. I am pissed off enough that I have to pay around $2.60 per gallon as it is, then to have it spew all over my hand is enough to send me into a tail spin. I calm down and enter the station and ask if I can use the restroom to wash my hands. Now clearly it is evident why I am needing to wash my hands. Not is my hand shining from all of the gas on it, but I stink to high heaven now because of it. The gentleman, who is on the phone thoroughly engaged in his own life, tells me that I can't use the private restroom that they have due to insurance reasons. Now correct me if I am wrong, but if I happen to pass out or die from the smell of the fumes on my hand, how would their insurance company feel about a lawsuit?? I am thinking allowing me to use the sink is the wiser of the 2 choices. But the man stands firm in his decision and offers me a towel to wipe my hands. Ever had gas on you??? A towel really isn't going to cut it. Now completely enraged I know that I must think quickly. I must piss this man off more than he has managed to piss me off. AHA!!!

I go to one of the shelves (it's one of those quick mart stations) and pick up a bottle of Dawn dish detergant that is for sale. Walk over to the Soda fountain and begin washing my hands using the water that so slyly comes out of the back of one of the pops. At this, the other patrons in the station begin snickering. One of them even said through his giggles, you really should have just let her use the bathroom. When I am done and I am sure that there is only a trace of the scent of gasoline on my hands, I walk to the counter and hand him back his dish soap, thank him kindly, and tell him that the owner will hear from me.

So I am thinking that this week can't can worse....right???? It can't and if I keep saying to myself over and over (and over) again, I will eventually start to believe it.

The 4 Year Pictures

Here they are. How cute is she!!!

3 hours of my life...wasted!

I am one of those parents that has my child's picture taken every year. I love to compare pictures of her from way back when and see how much she has changed and grown in the last few years. We go to Kiddie Kandids, through Babies R Us, because you don't need an appointment, you get your pictures within 5 minutes of having them taken, and most importantly, they are not horribly expensive. Okay, I will confess that part of the reason that they aren't terribly expensive is because I buy a few sheets of the different poses and come home and scan them in and print out more. Illegal? Absolutely. But I am not willing to pay through my ass for pictures of my own kid. I should own the copyright to them, not Kiddie Kandids.

Anyway, the pictures came out beautiful. But when the subject is Caitlyn, how can it not be right :P They will be sent to me via email, so whichever comes first, the email or my scanning, I will be sure to post them afterwards.

So why you ask was this a huge waste of my time. Very simple, the people in front of me with 2 children had absolutely NO condiseration for the people behind them. They took NO LESS that an hour and 45 minutes to take pictures. Then to choose which ones they wanted....well that process was almost 30 minutes. Now typically this whole process shouldn't take more than an hour. With one child, it takes me about 20 minutes to take the pics and maybe 15 to pick the ones that I want. Before going in, I know precisely how many sheets I plan on ordering so that all I have to do is pick out the poses I want. And when they try to sell me the t-shirts, mugs, aprons, and all the other crap with my kids picture on it I simply decline. There is no need to mull that over and debate whether or not I need a hot pad with Caitlyn's picture on it.

SO the reason that I am so aggravated with this whole process is because of the ignorance of the people ahead of me. Not to mention the fact that it is Saturday and you would think that there would be more than one person working at the damn place so that while one employee is taking pictures, the other can be with the previous photo subjects deciding on what packages they want. Eventually, I walked my child up to the area and sat her down posing her on my own so that they would get the hint that there were other people there ready to take pictures...bitchy? Why yes, I'll take 2 please.

What to write about first. We'll start off with a good laugh.

I am trying to get Caitlyn into panties throughout the night instead of a pull up. So since she usually takes a sippy cup of something to drink into bed with her, I figure that is the first thing that I will eliminate. Instead she is given a small glass of something to drink before we head upstairs. The other night she was taking forever to drink her milk, stalling as a tactic. When she finished, she started to cough. It's a running joke with Cate that when she coughs I say something to the effect of her darn cough coming back, which then causes her to do the fake cough to try and get some sympathy from me. So after she coughs, I say the typical line and she corrects me and tells me exactly why she is coughing.

"I am coughing from all the damn milk."

Naturally, Matt and I being the fab parents that we are, we start laughing hysterically. To which Cate obviously responds to, but not in the obvious way of repeating it. She comes up to me and rubs my leg and says,

"I'm sorry Mommy." (I respond with what are you sorry for?)
"For saying the word damn."

So not only does she use the word, she now knows that they are wrong. At least she apologized for it. I guess that is somewhat comforting to me.

Now onto my husband who has pissed me off so horribly that I am thinking I need to make sure that the life insuance policies are paid up so that when I kill him, at least I will get something in return for my troubles.

Those of you who know me, know that Matt is a diabetic. He has also had seizures in the past due to low blood sugars. So I tend to be a fanatic at times about him testing. And it's almost as though I have a sixth sense and can immediately tell when he is on his way to a low blood sugar (not sixth sense in the I see dead people sense :P). I have always told Matt that after he is done coaching football camp, he needs to test before driving home because standing in the sun and eserting loads of energy takes it's toll on his blood sugar. But who I am and what the fuck do I know about anything? I don't have letters after my name, so I must not know my ass from a hole in the ground.

I get a call from him MOnday evening at about 7ish, the time when he should normally be very near home. And I can tell immediately by the sound of his voice and the words he is using that his blood sugar is low. I ask him if he's okay, he tells me he doesn't know where he's at. Now, we live in Chicago and yes it is a big city, but for God's sake, he is only coming from a football fienld a few miles away and I wouldn't expect him to get lost on the way home under normal circumstances. So I tell him to pull over, which he has already done. I then tell him he needs to find a store, restaurant, something where there are some people around. Again, living in Chicago and not knowing where he is, this could prove to be a big mistake. He approaches a man and hands him the phone. I tell this man he is a diabetic and needs sugar pronto. Of course, the only guy Matt finds is someone who has nothing on him. I ask the man to take him to a store or a restaurant and get him some sugar pop and some candy. Which he agrees to do. Then I ask where the hell they are so that I can come and pick up his sorry ass. Thankfully, he was only in one of the neighboring suburbs about 15 minutes from home. By the time that I got to him, after be stopped by no less than 2 freight trains, his blood sugar was normal and we were on our way home.

Obviously, we get home and the lecture ensues. About how he needs to test more frequently, etc. Know what his response is?? Well, you always told me to pull over if I go low so you should be happy I did that. Are you fucking kidding me??? Had you done what you were supposed to and tested more often, there would have been no need to pull over. So he promises to be better blah blah blah.

Guess what??

The next 2 days in a row, same damn thing. Only this time he was home both times so at least he was relatively safe. The most aggravating part is that he is so rotten when he is low and WILL NOT listen to reason whatsoever. On the third night when all was well again, he had the nerve to ask to get laid. What the hell is wrong with this man??? Other than the fact that he is a typical male who doesn't listen to the wife yet still expects to get a piece of ass.

Onto happier things...the vacation is going wonderful and I have managed to stay out of the malls and not spend huge amounts of money out of sheer boredom. Which is a good thing. Caitlyn is enjoying the hell out of neing home with me and running errands with me. So needless to say, when it is time to go back to work and start getting her ready in the morning, she is going to be a real bundle of joy!

The vacation has begun

How wonderful it is to sleep in until 10:30. And even better when you have a 4 year old that sleeps in until then right along with you.

The bridesmaid dresses....yes I will look like a parade float in August. I only say that because of course there was not one there that I could try on, so I have to assume the worst about it. See, there are 5 of us bridesmaids. 3 are very slim (1 of them is a size 2 so I will just convince myself that she really is anorexic or something to make myself feel better..that and the fact that she hasn't squeezed out any children). Then there is myself and another girl who are slightly bigger than the average girl. In terms of bridesmaids dresses, this means that we are nothing short of obese cows LOL!!! If I am feeling brave, maybe, just maybe I will put up some pics of myself in this ridiculous get up. The bride to be was there and is already showing her belly in all it's glory. And talking about how she is hoping to have a boy. Now mind you, she has a son already, and her second child is a girl. Reason she needs a boy child, 2 words "white trash." He first child is by a man she no longer sees. The second is by the man that she is marrying. He also a child with his ex-wife and that child is a girl. So she is complaining that she needs to have a boy for him so that she no longer has to bear children from this point on. My thinking, how about a healthy fucking child that you actually take care of??? There's a novel idea. But who am I? and what do I really know about birthing babies?? Nothing because they take mine out of my body far before they are ready and only after they have knocked me completely out. So needless to say, the bitterness continues and I am sure that it will until she has this child and it is a girl and she has another child that she can't take care of. All so that this man gets the son that he so desperately wants. Whatthehellever!!!

The open door policy in my house needs to cease immediately. I don't mean people showing up unexpected, I mean when my husband uses the bathroom, he must close the door now. Reason being, Caitlyn is now so very in tune with the differences between a man and a woman's body that she finds it necessary to make comments on the anatomy. The last thing that I need her doing is going to school telling them about her father's penis. That will most definitely have the child welfare people ringing my doorbell. Some time back, Cate made sure to tell Daddy that his penis looked like a bandaid (very flattering comment for his ego). Tonight, she assured him that it no longer looks like a bandaid, but a water hose. Now, although musch better for his ego, still not something that a father wants to discuss with his 4 year old. So the locks on the bathroom doors will be checked this week.

I was told in Shoe Carnival today (shoe shopping for the child whose feet WILL NOT stop growing) that I am a bad parent. Means a lot to me coming from some person that I have never met and will never see again and probably has no children. Cate was on the floor playing with the foot measuring thing (if anyone knows how to actually use that device please let me know) while I was waiting in line to pay. An employee squats down and tries talking to her. She looks at me and yells (I am about 6 feet away) "Mommy, I don't talk to strangers so I can't tell him my name!" The line erupts into laughter and my child is staring at me desperately searching for some reassurance that she is not going to be told she is being a bad girl. So me being the fabulous mother that I am tell her that she is right, she doesn't talk to strangers, and she doesn't have to tell him her name. I then kindly ask this man to just leave her be. He proceeds to ask me if she is just shy. I respond by telling him that he heard her response and she is not allowed to talk to strangers and that is why she won't tell you her name nor will she even look at you. He then tells me that I shouldn't worry so much, after all he is just a Shoe Carnival employee. I could give a shit if this guy is Jesus Christ and this is the second coming. I have taught this child not to speak to people she doesn't know and in actuality I am horribly proud of the fact that something I have told her in the last 4 years has managed to stick. Needless to say, I probably won't be frequenting that Shoe Carnival anymore as I am sure that mine and Caitlyn's picture is up with a big red circle around it and a line drawn through it with a caption that says "Do not speak to these people, they are weirdos and don't like to chit chat with Show Carnival employees."

Tomorrow we are off to Toys R Us to return the duplicate princess gifts that we got for the birthday. That is always a trip that I dread and usually ends up in one of us crying as we leave the store....start placing bets now as to who it will be, Caitlyn or mom.

Tomorrow can't come soon enough

So when I leave work tomorrow, I will be off until August 8th. Yes, that's right. I have over a month off of work. It is one of the many perks of working in the educational field. Though I would have rather gotten out when the kids did around June 10th. But I will take what I can get, I am not greedy, and I realize that this stretch of vacation is more than most people see in an entire year. So I won't complain about having my cake and eating it too (cheesecake is now on my mind). Maybe I will grab one of those on the way home, and ditch the child with Auntie Gina for the night and indulge. If that is my plan, then I most definitely need to figure out where to send the husband. As he will really infringe on my indulgences.

So here is a funny thought. On Saturday, I am going to look for bridesmaids dresses with a friend of mine. Know why?? Cause I am going to be a 31 year old bridesmaid in August. Fun? I think not! Want to know what really pisses me off about this whole bridesmaid/wedding bit? I will tell anyway. The girl getting married has 2 children and found out a few weeks ago that she is now pregnant with the third. Now I could care less how many children anyone has. If you are willing to take care of them, have your own baseball team. However, this girl, we'll call her Dawn since that is her name, doesn't take care of the 2 that she already has. And she can carry these babies full term and they come out healthy as can be despite the neglect that she reaks on her body during pregnancy. Me and some of my friends...well we follow the rules and have babies weighing barely more than a pound. Bitter..why yes I am slightly. However, I have tried to convince myself that it happens for a reason. Blah blah blah. Yeah the reason is that Mother Nature has it in for me and likes to taunt me at her every turn.

I must not hit the bride! I must not hit the bride! I figure if I say it enough, I won't do it....will I?????

Adventures with Play Doh

Let me start by saying that Matt has returned home from a trip to Arkansas. So after being a single parent for 3 days, I am ready to hand her over to him upon his re-entry into the house. Of course, this never works out. Of course, I have a mommy's girl. So even though he is home, it is as though I am a single parent. However, today is different. She has missed him something terrible over the last few days, so she wants him to play with her nonstop. As they are sitting in the living room playing, and I sit my ass at the computer (odd as that may sound)I enjoy listening to the conversations that they have with each other.

Someone bought Caitlyn Play Doh for her birthday. Now I do not mind this gift at all, as all of us with preemies know how fabulous it can be for improving sensory issues. So she and Daddy are playing with the dough and making all sorts of animals. Then they begin making finger prints and such. Matt teaches her to make finger prints, elbow prints, foot prints...you get the picture. I then hear Caitlyn telling Matt that he can't do that because it is dangerous. Now, I try to think of what he could have possibly done with play doh that could be considered dangerous. When I ask what the problem is, I am clearly told.

"Daddy made my eye print. And he can't put play doh on my eye because I could get hurt. It is dangerous right Mommy?"

So I then have to tell her that she is correct. Logically speaking, if she gets the stuff in her eye, it could absolutely be dangerous. Chances of that happening, slim to none. Oh but wait a minute, I forgot that this is me that we are talking about. If there is a possiblility of it happening, then it more than likely will.

Moral of the story....do not make eye prints with play doh!

The Birthday Party

Well, birthday party number 4 has come and gone and a grand time was had by the Princess herself. She was so excited about having a birthday party and everyone coming to praise her LOL. Of course it was a Disney Princess Party. Caitlyn got so many wonderful gifts and she loves them all. It was nice to actually get a really good variety of gifts. Not too many toys, not too many clothes. She got a ton of pajamas that can double as dress up clothes, so she loved those. She also got "real makeup" from Stephanie, which has been a huge hit and I have had to clean off wax like purple paint from her face every night...as well as my own.

Stephanie came in from Indiana for the night Saturday to attend the party on Sunday. Naturally she had the babes with her and Collin too. Boy oh boy...I know why she is so tired at the end of her days now...LOL

So the cake was a HUGE success. Yes, I ordered a full sheet. Why you ask? Well, because I am stupid of course. At least that is the only logical explanation that I can come up with at this point in time. See, in my own head, I imagined the size of a full sheet to be what is in reality a half sheet. So needless to say, there was plenty of cake to go around...a couple of times actually. Surprisingly enough, it was all taken away by the time the last guest departed. What they chose to do with it once they arrived home I could care less. But I could not bear to throw any of it out.

So now my child is 4 and I am awe struck with this concept. I can not believe that 4 years have passed since that fateful night at Christ hospital. Though I am thankful that she is here to celebrate this 4th birthday, it is so hard to believe that she was once so ill and fragile. It is funny now how I go into her story less and less with people. Occasionally we get the questions about why she is so skinny, but for the most part, people look at her and see a typical 4 year old. And that it what brings tears to my eyes more than anything. I never would have imagined her to be seen as typical 4 years ago. But here we are and on we go.

Enough of the blah blah blah...here are some pics of the princess's celebration and her humoungous cake!

I am sweet and the bestest

Every now and again, Caitlyn reminds me just how sweet she can be and confirms why I love her so much. After her movie was over tonight, she was complaining in the living room that her skirt was untied. I told her to come on over and I would tie it for her. She then tells me...

"Mommy you're sweet. You're the bestest mommy ever."

And that my friends is what being a mommy is all about...to hear things like that!

Geyser?

We are still on the Shrek kick...she enjoys watching the previews that are on the tape before the movie actually starts. One of them is for a Disney movie, some horse, Spirit something or other. Well as Caitlyn was watching the previews the other day in my bed she points something out to me that I had no idea she knew nor do I have any idea where the hell she learned it from either. She points out an image in which there is water shooting up from the ground and proceeds to tell me that it is a geyser. And in case I wanted to know why it was a geyser, it is because the water is shooting up and not down. Who teaches this child cause it sure as hell is not me teaching her these things.

Happy Birthday to my little love

My little girlie has managed to make it to 4 years old! I am in awe that she is already 4...seems like only yesterday she was so teeny tiny. Downside to today's festivities...she spiked a fever last night and threw up a couple of times :( So this morning it has gone down quite a bit and no puking, so I am thinking that we are on the mend from whatever the hell it was that she had.

Happy birthday Caitlyn! Mommy and Daddy love you more than you could ever know :)

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She is a wise one

As mentioned before, Caitlyn's birthday is quickly approaching. It is hard to believe that this time 4 years ago, Matt and I were in marital bliss awaiting the arrival of our first child....and it was all cut so short. I can not believe that she is going to be 4!!!

This morning as we were getting ready for work and school respectively, she asked me how many more days until her birthday. I told her 7 more days, 1 more week, your birthday is next Tuesday. She proceeds to tell me that she will be 4 years old, as she always does. Then she says to me, "Mommy I will not be 3 ever again." And that's when it hit me...and the blubbering started. My Itty Bitty is NEVER going to be a toddler again! Now, I am an intelligent person. I knew that after turning 4, she will no longer be 3 and will never be 3 again. However, to have it thrown in your face by the very person that you are wishing to keep little is so difficult.

Don't get me wrong...I love her getting older and doing more things and learning everday and just being the amazing little person that she is. But it is so difficult for me to imagine her as that little being that she once was. Not to say that those images will ever be completely erased from my memory, because they never could. But this little girl who fought tooth and nail to survive and who has probably been through more medically than some go through in a lifetime is growing up. And she is doing it so rapidly. Her first year obviously dragged because she seemed to be an infant for so long. But since turning 2, there has been no stopping Caitlyn. SHe is just growing in leaps and bounds that I never would have thought possible. It's kind of like when you finally graduate from high school and realize, oh shit, I have to figure out what the hell I am going to do with the rest of my life :P

Okay, enough of the blubbering from the wishy washy mommy. Despite all of these wonderful things, she is still driving me nuts on a daily basis, she is still pushing all of my buttons, she is still testing just how far she can push me.....and I wouldn't ever have it any other way!

Shrek the "Nogurt"

So we are on a Shrek kick this week. Seems that is all that she wants to be watching these days. I don't mind as it is quite the humorous movie. However, the main character has been given a new name.....

Shrek the Nogurt. Appearently she can't say ogre! So he has become a nogurt...

Now that the birthday is approaching, I am flipping through some old pictures of the girl and am in awe over just how far has she has come. Don't be surprised if you see a few more of these pictures popping up between now and her birthday. Borthdays are always a tough time and at the same time something to revel in.



Caitlyn having her first bottle at 2 months old







Caitlyn about 3 weeks before coming home







Caitlyn's first Halloween

The Little Mermaid

Well, summer has arrived along with the opening of Grandma's pool. Caitlyn is absolutely loving having her own personal swimming pool....yes she thinks it belongs to her despite the fact that it is not in our yard, but in one 3 blocks away. So for the last 3 days she has been in the pool nonstop..with the exception of going to school and sleeping.



Caitlyn is very mucha mommy's girl. If I am not around, she is always asking where I am and when I am coming to get her. However, thanks to this pool, that is changing at a rapid pace. She is swimming at my mom's today at about 4:15. Around the time that I would normally show up to pick her up. However, today, Mom called me and said to leave her there and Tutti would bring her home. I agree to that plan quickly as it gives me the much needed Nancy time that I so deserve. So mom askes Caitlyn, "Shouldn't mommy be here soon? Maybe you should get out and dry off so that she can come and pick you up."



Caitlyn's response..."No. I think Mommy will be here later, not right now. I think she is working longer today."



Now she is my very own personal secretary. I should ask her where I need to be tomorrow so that I am on time!

She just can't take it anymore

More to the pooping saga....

So for the last 2 weeks or so, I have not had to fight with Caitlyn to poop on the potty. It has actually just been happening when she tells me she has to pee, and then suddenly tells me that she pooped too. Well, for the last 3 days, she has actually told me that she has to poop...and then does! Big improvements from needing a suppository because she was with holding for a week at a time. Now we are up to at least every other day!

So tonight, my child ate more in one sitting that she usually does. She told me she wanted breakfast at 7:00pm becuase she didn't eat her breakfast this morning. Well, if you know Cate and her history, I immediately ran to the kitchen and began whipping up an omelet and pancakes (and if you knwo me and my history, this is a rarity). So I made an omelet of one egg and 4 small pancakes. She also wanted fruit, but I told her she could have that after she ate. This child of mine was cramming food into her face like I have never seen before. I actually had to tell her to slow down....words I thought would never exit my lips. When there was only a few bits of omelet and 1/2 a pancake left, I told her if she was full she could stop eating. She said she wasn't full yet....words I thought would never exit Cate's lips. So then she also devoured some fruit.

Needless to say, I figured she was going to explode on me tomorrow. However, as I am sitting at the computer (shocker I know) she comes up to me, legs crossed and says, "I just can't take it anymore." When I ask her what she is talking about, she tells me, "I just can't take it anymore. I have to poop." So I unfasten her pants and tell her to hurry to the potty. As she is seated on the potty, I hear her repeating to herself, "I can't take this poop anymore. I have to poop so bad." Within minutes, there it is. And of course, as all children like to do, she is sure to describe it to me as she stands up. And wouldn't you know it, this one resembled a banana :P

so I think that we have overcome all of our fears of pooping in the potty...thank God in heaven. We are also expanding our horizoms and learning how to use public restrooms.....when did my life turn into this????

Any boob will do

This was one just too good to pass up and not share. So do you think that it is human nature in babies...or just in the male species??

Time to start teaching multiculturalism???

So I think that we have reached the age where we are starting to notice differences in people. I have to have a talk with Caitlyn and I really am not sure how to broach the subject with her. Or if I even need to have the conversation with her.

We were out for dinner tonight, a little mother daughter time since Matt was at a meeting through dinner. We were sitting next to large windows that face a very busy street and the parking lot. An African American man was walking from the parking lot into the restaurant. My child leans over the table and whispers to me..

"Look mommy it's a chocolate man."

I didn't even know how to respond. Should I have had a conversation with her about it right then and there??? I quickly changed the subject and prayed that when the man was seated, he wouldn't be near us so that Caitlyn wouldn't repeat the phrase in front of him.

So I don't think that this is anywhere in the parenting books. Anyone have any words of wisdom for me?

The dreaded "F Word" has reared it's ugly head once again

Yeah, so all of those sweet little things that I wrote about my daughter the other day...not so much anymore :P

As she is playing with her ball in the living room today, bouncing it off the TV and catching it (yes we have some very enforced rules in this house). I am listening to her talk to herself, actually to her pretend big sister Lena (don't ask me). She is telling Lena to throw the ball this way, don't throw the ball that way, you know, just being her normal bossy self. When suddenly I hear the ball it the TV and out comes....

"This fucking TV." Over and over and over and over. What did I do you ask? Well, I ran to the basement and told Matt that he absolutely must hear his child. By the time we got into the dining room, she had ceased dropping the F Bombs.

Me thinks that we need to have the nice words ugly words conversation again!

A Different Twist

So I am always posting about something that Caitlyn says that makes me laugh or embarrasses me or angers me to the point of no return. I thought today that I would post some of the things that she always says on a regular basis...they have almost become those little something specials between her and I. All of these things that she says to me are things that must make my heart melt knowing that she doesn't say them to anyone but me.

1. After bath time, I hold Caitlyn up and look in the mirror with her. I ask, "Who is my clean baby?" Her reply, "Caitlyn Mackenzie Walsh." Before she could speak, she would point to herself and I would say her name, before she could point to herself, I would say her same and kiss her. After bath time now, if this step is missed...unhappy child.

2. When Caitlyn is sick I tell her that she needs to take medicine to get better. I have also always told her that mommies love makes kids feel better too. Now when she is sick, she will tell me that she will take her medicine and my love will make her all better.

3. Caitlyn is my Snuggle Bunnie. I once tried to use the phrase "veg out" with Cate before...she wouldn't have any of that despite my numberous attempts to explain it to her. So by telling her that we are Snuggle Bunnies, this she could associate with...who wouldn't want to be a cute little furry animal rather than broccoli or peas?? Now when she wants to cuddle with me, she tells me, "Mommy come and be a Snuggle Bunnie on the couch with me."

4. There is one thing that Caitlyn says to me that absolutely makes my heart melt. Ever since she was a baby I have told her that she was my miracle. Now that she can talk, I say "You are my..." and she finishes the sentence by saying "Miracle." Every once in a while she will then tell me that I am also her miracle.

5. And of course, the words that every mother loves to hear. When Caitlyn looks at me and tells me, of her own accord, "I love you Mommy." What words could be better coming from a little girl to her mommy.

She rolls her eyes now

You know, I love my child, I really do. But why in the hell does she have to be just like me??? This will be short and sweet as she hasn't said anything, it is a mere gesture. I ask her to pick up her toys and she looks towards the ceiling and huffs. I think I now why children are spanked now. Nothing more needs to be said about this act of hers except that I can't believe my 3 year old (4 in 22 days) now rolls her eyes at me. Calgon take me away....from this child!!!

I am just right

So Caitlyn is sick again, but not so horribly. I am thinking that it is a simple little cough and cold with a slight fever. Nothing serious this time. So she has pretty much lounged on the couch the majority of the day, except for the portion of it that we were at a Matinee viewing Madagascar. Which I might add is a really funny movie for adults. I get such a laugh out of the fact that there is so much adult humor in these movies that children just aren't privvy to.

So this evening after I wake Caitlyn up from her nap at about 6 pm (I know, late, but I was busy yakking with Shelley, so it must be her fault), she decided that she wanted to watch Mulan. I put on the movie and of course she gets nervous about whether or not it is going to be scary. See we are going through this phase where she wigs out at monsters and withces and such. Unfortunately, in all of the princess movies there is a nemesis that resembles one of those very things. So she asks me if I will be a snuggle bunny on the couch with her. (I know, cutsey little phrases like that are what make me a mommy.) Naturally I agree, as I jump at the chance of her asking to cuddle since the instances are so few and far between.

So I climb onto one end of the couch and she tells me that she wants me to lie behind her so that we can share her pillow. Not wanting to upset the girl, but knowing that I don't have a very wide couch, I oblige. As I am trying to wiggle my way in there are not push all 30 pounds of her off the couch and keep the blanket on us, I say to her, "I think mommy is too fat to lay behind you." And of course this angelic child of mine (I say that now cause she has made me happy, see what I call her tomorrow when she is driving me insane) says to me,

"Mommy you are not fat, you are just right."

Diets...who needs em! Just get yourself a beautiful little girl that will tell you you are perfect and you will feel like Cindy Crawford!

Daddy that looks like.....

So we are fairly "liberal" in our hosuehold I guess you could say. Caitlyn was taught pretty early on what parts boys have and what parts girls have. She was taught this when she realized that daddy doesn't sit down to pee. Needless to say, in the grocery store pointing at boys and saying "Mommy, penis!" goes over like a lead balloon in society.

Anyhow, when we are out and about, Caitlyn will often go into the restroom with Matt if he has to make a pit stop. Now don't get me wrong. I am not sending her in there to view "packages" of other men. Matt is sure to take her into the stall when he does his business to make sure that she is not viewing the other men in the bathroom. I have told Matt that soon this will need to stop as she is becoming more curious and looking at our bodies in different ways now.

Appearently, we missed the window of opportunity to stop the behavior. Last week in Denny's, Matt made a trip to the bathroom and naturally Caitlyn escorted him there. They were in the stall as there were 3 other men in the bathroom using the urinals. Matt removes his organ if you will to perform his deed. Caitlyn, being 3 and having NO IDEA whatsoever on how to whisper, proceeds to point at his penis and tell him...

"Daddy that looks like a bandaid."

So needless to say, their were bursts of laughter from the other side of the stall door. Upon exiting, the men look at Matt and begin to laugh, to which Matt also begins laughing. As the men slowly exit the restroom and return to their booths/tables, you see them talking to the people they are with, pointing at Caitlyn, which is foloowed by bursts of laughter from the other parties.

So the moral of the story is...Caitlyn WILL NOT be venturing into the men's bathroom until she is old enough to drink in a bar and the line for the women's bathroom is too long.

Chicken Pops

Funny to think that when you watch the Rugrats on TV and they mispronounce words, that kids hear things so differently than we actually say them. I was reading a new book to Caitlyn the other night that we picked up at her school book sale. It's called Daisy the Doctor, and has some of the most amazing pictures in it. I was a little surprised when they started desrcibing some of the ailments the children had and listed things like eczema..LOL. Anywho, as we are reading along there is a little boy who is there to see Doctor Daisy about some red spots on his tummy. Caitlyn immediately knew what these were:

"That's like the chicken pops Mommy."

I need to buy her more toys

If you have ever seen the amount of toys in my house, you would swear I ran a daycare (but there is only one Zookeeper :P). Caitlyn's Easter bags filled with goodies that she got are still sitting in my living room as I have not yet put all of the crap away. So inside the bags, there are some plastic eggs. SOme are filled with candy and others are filled with change. These were acquired at Aunty Mary's house during an egg hunt sponsored by Aunty Krissy. So Caitlyn has recently discovered these little treasures. She can often be found sitting in a corner chowing on some candy that she is not supposed to have...and knowing that she isn't supposed to be eating it.

Today, she was playing with them as though they she were in a mariachi band. It was quite cute to see her dancing around the living room with them singing some song in spanish...courtesy of Dora. SHe then starts opening the ones that have money in them since I told her she is not allowed to eat any candy until she decides to actually consume some type of food that has ANY nutritional value in it. She comes up to me with the change from one of the eggs and starts putting it in my hand. There is a total of less than $1.00 in the egg. She suddenly gets very excited about giving me money (a change around this house). She says to me with the brightest eyes you could ever imagine...

"I'm going to give you lots of money cause you NEED to buy me more toys."

The grass is thirsty

Caitlyn got a new raincoat and umbrella from Grandma Lynda. And of course they have the proncesses on them. Well she has been waiting and waiting so very patiently for it to rain so that she can wear the coat and carry the umbrella. Two days this week, it was supposed to rain and looked like it was going to. So I dragged the coat and umbrella to school so that she would have them to wear in case it did rain. No such luck. If anything, it became warmer and brighter than it was in the morning. I told her that the minute it starts to rain, if it is warm enough, then she and I will go for a walk and I will even wear my new raincoat. This really excited her, so she is constantly looking out the window now and asking me if it is going to rain this day so that we can go for a walk in it. And I feel so bad when I have to apologize to her for it being almost 80 and sunny!

Today as we were leaving for school, Caitlyn was telling me about how it was never going to rain and she was never going to get to wear her new raincoat and she will never get to use her new umbrella.....can you say drama queen???? Then of course, she begins to cry, because that is what 3 1/2 year old girls do best I am learning. When I ask her what on earth she is upset about, she is very cleaar in her answer:

"It has to rain mommy because the grass and trees are thirsty I just know they are."

So maybe her wanting rain really has nothing at all to do with the vanity of wearing her new stuff, maybe she is more ecologically aware than I thought.....yeah right!!! She wants to be the princess and could care less if the grass and trees gets the water or not :P