As mentioned before, Caitlyn's birthday is quickly approaching. It is hard to believe that this time 4 years ago, Matt and I were in marital bliss awaiting the arrival of our first child....and it was all cut so short. I can not believe that she is going to be 4!!!
This morning as we were getting ready for work and school respectively, she asked me how many more days until her birthday. I told her 7 more days, 1 more week, your birthday is next Tuesday. She proceeds to tell me that she will be 4 years old, as she always does. Then she says to me, "Mommy I will not be 3 ever again." And that's when it hit me...and the blubbering started. My Itty Bitty is NEVER going to be a toddler again! Now, I am an intelligent person. I knew that after turning 4, she will no longer be 3 and will never be 3 again. However, to have it thrown in your face by the very person that you are wishing to keep little is so difficult.
Don't get me wrong...I love her getting older and doing more things and learning everday and just being the amazing little person that she is. But it is so difficult for me to imagine her as that little being that she once was. Not to say that those images will ever be completely erased from my memory, because they never could. But this little girl who fought tooth and nail to survive and who has probably been through more medically than some go through in a lifetime is growing up. And she is doing it so rapidly. Her first year obviously dragged because she seemed to be an infant for so long. But since turning 2, there has been no stopping Caitlyn. SHe is just growing in leaps and bounds that I never would have thought possible. It's kind of like when you finally graduate from high school and realize, oh shit, I have to figure out what the hell I am going to do with the rest of my life :P
Okay, enough of the blubbering from the wishy washy mommy. Despite all of these wonderful things, she is still driving me nuts on a daily basis, she is still pushing all of my buttons, she is still testing just how far she can push me.....and I wouldn't ever have it any other way!