McDonald's PlayLands

As a child, the playland of Mcdonald's is truly an amazing sight to behold. Imagine being 4 years old and being told by adults that this is the one time that you are allowed to run, jump, climb, slide, scream....all indoors. It truly is the mecca for toddlers and children.

On the flip side of this, there is the parents view of the playlands. To name a few of the horrific things: germs, screaming children, germs, extremely loud noise, germs, parents that don't watch their children, germs, children that don't listen to their parents, germs, horrible food, germs. Did I mention the germs that float around that place???? But we go anyway. Not for the nutritional aspect, nor the quality time spent with your child, but to prevent the tantrums that could ensue when you tell your child that they can't go. Well, that, and the hopes that they will be so damn tired by the time that they get home that they pas right out for the night.

So off to the play land we venture tonight. I drag Matt with me as I am not going to be the only parent to suffer through it. As we are walking up to the door, it is obvious that there is a birthday party going on in there. At least that's what I suspected it was with all the balloons and streamers hanging around. However, upon entering, I quickly learn that it is not a birthday party, but....a baby shower?? I am a little taken a back by this as I can't imagine having such an event at Mcdonald's. Matt quickly reminds me that maybe the employees were throwing it for a coworker. Or maybe someone was just being silly, after all, my mother did throw me a 21st birthday party at Burger King.

So we get our food and enter the playland area to sit down. So that rather than Caitlyn eating, she can run around like a maniac and I can plead with her to eat and threaten her 1000 times that if she doesn't eat we are leaving. (Which by the way, I never follow through on that threat.) However, there are no seats to be had. Why? Because there are about 25 guests at this baby shower...and only about 5 of them are children. Not only have they taken up all the seats with their adult size asses, but they have monopolized the tables for all the food they had catered in as well as using one table for cutting watermelon. Yes, you read all of that correctly. Let me break it down for you...

1. Baby Shower at McDonald's Playland
2. Approximately 20 adults in attendance
3. Food catered into playland
4. Watermelon being cut up on one of the tables
5. Gift table that uses up another 3 tables

So I am naturally thoroughly pissed off beyond all comprehension. Here I am paying way too much for food that I am convinced really doesn't even come from an animal, and my kid can't sit in there to play. So I start ranting, much to Matt's dismay. But he knows this is who I am..that I am so not quiet about things like this, especially when they are so fucking out of the ordinary. I storm back into the restaurant part and continue to piss and moan. And my anger is only intensified with every mutter of "it's not fair that I can't sit in there" from the girl.

Finally, I put all Cate's food back into the bag, tell her to take her damn shoes off, leave Matt sitting in the booth, and storm into the Playland so my child can have her 20 minutes of sheer elation. I snag a chair as all of the party guests are in line and sit my adult sized ass on it. A woman comes up to me and says, "Excuse me I was sitting there." Now....I take a few deep breaths before speaking, when what I really want to do is tell her to fuck off and punch her in the face. But I refrain. I simply look at her and say, "Oh? I'm sorry." But I don't get up, I continue to sit. Cause damn it, they can't have all the chairs and tables for their watermelon.

Here is my plan. Tomorrow I will be calling. I will be telling the manager that as a paying customer, I am not a happy camper that there is nowhere to sit in there because of the baby shower. I will also be sure to mention that there were 2 employees in there enjoying watermelon in their uniforms instead of cleaning tables or making burgers or whatever the hell they were supposed to be doing. With any luck, I will get some free food (or whatever it is they really serve). And chances are, I will be back there next weekend to sit and suffer through all of the aforementioned atrocities.