Wednesday, July 13, 2005

What to write about first. We'll start off with a good laugh.

I am trying to get Caitlyn into panties throughout the night instead of a pull up. So since she usually takes a sippy cup of something to drink into bed with her, I figure that is the first thing that I will eliminate. Instead she is given a small glass of something to drink before we head upstairs. The other night she was taking forever to drink her milk, stalling as a tactic. When she finished, she started to cough. It's a running joke with Cate that when she coughs I say something to the effect of her darn cough coming back, which then causes her to do the fake cough to try and get some sympathy from me. So after she coughs, I say the typical line and she corrects me and tells me exactly why she is coughing.

"I am coughing from all the damn milk."

Naturally, Matt and I being the fab parents that we are, we start laughing hysterically. To which Cate obviously responds to, but not in the obvious way of repeating it. She comes up to me and rubs my leg and says,

"I'm sorry Mommy." (I respond with what are you sorry for?)
"For saying the word damn."

So not only does she use the word, she now knows that they are wrong. At least she apologized for it. I guess that is somewhat comforting to me.

Now onto my husband who has pissed me off so horribly that I am thinking I need to make sure that the life insuance policies are paid up so that when I kill him, at least I will get something in return for my troubles.

Those of you who know me, know that Matt is a diabetic. He has also had seizures in the past due to low blood sugars. So I tend to be a fanatic at times about him testing. And it's almost as though I have a sixth sense and can immediately tell when he is on his way to a low blood sugar (not sixth sense in the I see dead people sense :P). I have always told Matt that after he is done coaching football camp, he needs to test before driving home because standing in the sun and eserting loads of energy takes it's toll on his blood sugar. But who I am and what the fuck do I know about anything? I don't have letters after my name, so I must not know my ass from a hole in the ground.

I get a call from him MOnday evening at about 7ish, the time when he should normally be very near home. And I can tell immediately by the sound of his voice and the words he is using that his blood sugar is low. I ask him if he's okay, he tells me he doesn't know where he's at. Now, we live in Chicago and yes it is a big city, but for God's sake, he is only coming from a football fienld a few miles away and I wouldn't expect him to get lost on the way home under normal circumstances. So I tell him to pull over, which he has already done. I then tell him he needs to find a store, restaurant, something where there are some people around. Again, living in Chicago and not knowing where he is, this could prove to be a big mistake. He approaches a man and hands him the phone. I tell this man he is a diabetic and needs sugar pronto. Of course, the only guy Matt finds is someone who has nothing on him. I ask the man to take him to a store or a restaurant and get him some sugar pop and some candy. Which he agrees to do. Then I ask where the hell they are so that I can come and pick up his sorry ass. Thankfully, he was only in one of the neighboring suburbs about 15 minutes from home. By the time that I got to him, after be stopped by no less than 2 freight trains, his blood sugar was normal and we were on our way home.

Obviously, we get home and the lecture ensues. About how he needs to test more frequently, etc. Know what his response is?? Well, you always told me to pull over if I go low so you should be happy I did that. Are you fucking kidding me??? Had you done what you were supposed to and tested more often, there would have been no need to pull over. So he promises to be better blah blah blah.

Guess what??

The next 2 days in a row, same damn thing. Only this time he was home both times so at least he was relatively safe. The most aggravating part is that he is so rotten when he is low and WILL NOT listen to reason whatsoever. On the third night when all was well again, he had the nerve to ask to get laid. What the hell is wrong with this man??? Other than the fact that he is a typical male who doesn't listen to the wife yet still expects to get a piece of ass.

Onto happier things...the vacation is going wonderful and I have managed to stay out of the malls and not spend huge amounts of money out of sheer boredom. Which is a good thing. Caitlyn is enjoying the hell out of neing home with me and running errands with me. So needless to say, when it is time to go back to work and start getting her ready in the morning, she is going to be a real bundle of joy!


worry woman said...

That is crazy scary! I am sure he doesn't care thought because if he is like me or if diabetic shock is the same-they/we don't even remember how messed up it was for you/loved ones to see...So, if you want to try to look at it that way and maybe you won't be mad...HAHAHA

I swear [from what I remember] that men don't care how mad they make us, or how made we make them, they still wanna screw. Like we are supposed to enjoy it when we are mad-DOES. NOT. HAPPEN.

Those dirty words crack you up don't they? Me too. I am sure it will be REAL funny when mine drops one of them in church!!! I am just waiting...

Nancy said...

Shawnee...he has no clue what he is doing when he is low like that. He tells me how he remembers it and usually it has something to do with me attacking him. Usually in reference to me trying to prick his finger to test him (though there are times that I would love to attack him when he's like that).

And yes the potty mouth in public thing...loads of fun. Caitlyn used to call out the word penis at the top of her lungs when she saw a male in public after learning that's what daddy had and not girls I think subconsciously she was dead on...LOL)