Thursday, May 01, 2008

It's Done

And I'm not really sure I how feel about it. Obviously, I have to be okay with it, because there is no going back now. But once the doctor came in and they started to wheel Matt's gurney out of the room, I left the hospital to go outside. Once in the car, I cried. I didn't realize until the moment they were taking him away just how much I would be effected by it. In the midst of my crying, I cursed my body for crapping out on us 3 times. 3!! Granted, I got an amazing kid out of one of those times. But it crapped out that time none the less.

I called my best friend and told her how sad I was. Amazingly, she was wide awake at 8:30 in the morning. Which is unheard of. And she listened to me and made me feel better. Hearing myself tell her the reasons why this was the best decision for my family helped me to know for sure that it was.

But damn it, it really sucks. And it hurts.

Enough of the pity party. Matt is doing great. He is in quite a bit of pain. And he is pretty swollen. But overall, he feels really good.

Caitlyn thinks he has a stomach ache and that we went to the hospital for blood work. She is none the wiser, and doesn't need to be. She would never be able to understand this at her age.

On that are some pictures of my amazingly beautiful daughter. Could she be any more gorgeous??