Beloved Bunny

This is Bunny. He is very near and dear to Caitlyn's heart. When she was 2 days old, my girlfriend, Suzi, brought him to the hospital for her. It was the first time Suzi had seen Caitlyn. It was also the first time that I ever touched Caitlyn.

Bunny stayed with Caitlyn for the duration of her NICU stay. He travelled from warmer to warmer, isolette to isolette, and crib to crib with her. When it was time for Caitlyn to come home, Bunny came home a day or so earlier as we were taking most of her belongings home. We knew we would have a load to carry with us the day she was leaving, so we figured anything we could get home early, the better.

Once Caitlyn was home, Bunny lived in her crib with her. She paid no attention to him being there, she was too little. But he was there none the less.

Until Caitlyn was nearing 4 years old, she wasn't too concerned with Bunny. However, all of that changed right before her 4th birthday. Since that time, Caitlyn has not been without Bunny in bed with her. Until this weekend that is.

Friday morning, Caitlyn got into my bed just like she always does when Matt heads off to work. But this Friday, she didn't bring Bunny in with her. It was decided that afternoon that she was going to have a sleepover at Grandma's house. I came home to pack up her clothes, and of course get Bunny and snuggle blank (a receiving blanket she has had since homecoming as well, but that's another post and picture). I found snuggle blank easily. Bunny on the other hand, was nowhere to be found. Nowhere.

I called her at my mom's and asked her where he was. She insisted that he was either on her bed or in my bed. Which is where he always is. (We don't take Bunny out anywhere except for sleepovers to prevent him from getting lost.) After looking for 15 minutes with no luck, I went to drop her things off and told her he was somewhere in the house but I couldn't find him. Her response...

"He is probably hiding from me."

For the entire weekend, I looked and looked, and then looked some more, for Bunny. I couldn't find him anywhere. And Caitlyn couldn't find him either. And no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't think of where she last left him.

I was completely devastated by last night. I was convinced that Bunny was gone from our lives forever. Caitlyn was upset. She took another bunny into bed with her last night. When I went to wake her this morning, that bunny was placed neatly on the pillow....far away from her. When she sleeps with Bunny, he is always tucked under her blankets with her, to make sure he stays warm at night. I have seen her in her sleep feel around her bed until she has located him, with her eyes closed, and pull him close to her.

I told Matt that my heart was broken for her. I really thought that this would be the stuffed animal that she has all her life. We all have something that we have had since childhood that we hold very dear to us. And this is what Bunny is for Caitlyn. When she cries, she cries to Bunny. When she plays, Bunny also has a role in whatever she is playing. No he was gone :(

When I was trying to wake her this morning (she is a beast to wake up), I figured I would look some more in her room. Because I figured that the 763 times I looked over the weekend, I hadn't done it efficiently enough. As I was picking up her sleeping bag to fold and put back on her bed, Bunny fell out!

I wanted to scream with excitement. Instead, I put Bunny on her chest and told her to open her eyes because she had a surprise visitor. When her eyes opened, they were the happiest eyes you can imagine! She pulled him so close to her and gave him the biggest hug. Then she rolled over and tried to go back to sleep much to my dismay.

When she asked me where he was hiding, I told her I found him in her sleeping bag. Her response....

"I put him there Friday night to make sure he stayed warm. I remember now Mommy."

Remembering now didn't do me any good all weekend. But I am almost certain that we will all be sleeping a little better tonight now that Bunny has returned safely.

Her First "Real" P*unishment

Caitlyn got her first real p*unishsment yesterday night. I say real only because up until now, she has only ever recieved time outs and an ocassional spsanking here and there. And by spsanking, I mean that she has gotten her butt tapped one time on only a handful of ocassions.

Last night as I was cleaning up toys, I was putting the bazillion pieces of Polly Pocket Dolls in the Polly Pocket suitcase that had to be purchased to contain the bits that are in fact produced by the devil (that sure is one hell of a run on sentence isn't it???) As I was cleaning up the pieces from hell, I discovered 2 heads of the dolls in the suitcase. The heads were certainly not attached to the bodies they belonged with. Flashes of serial killers immediately run through my mind. I mean, isn't that how they all start out? Ripping the heads off of dolls, or torturing small animals. I quickly scan the room to make sure that the cats are still alive. (Yes I know, Marten is anything but a small animal...but he's smaller than her finally.) Both cats are alive and well.

I turn to Cate and ask her how this happened. Of course she blamed it on Kelly. Who in their right mind wouldn't blame this act on another child. I call my mother and tell her what Kelly has done. I also tell her that I am not so much concerned with the act of ripping the heads of, but I am more concerned with the lack of respect for toys that I spend my hard earned money on (sounds grown up like doesn't it!). I tell my mom that she needs to let Kelly know that if I ever see anything like this again, they will not be getting toys from me...ever!

After I hang up, I ask Cate what happened with the toys. She retells the same story that Kelly gave. Well, to an extent. Only she leaves herself out of the bad parts. Kelly said that they were playing with them together and she was pulling the heads off. Which resulted in Cate's hysterical laughter. Cate says that Kelly just pulled the heads off. Here's the troubling part of the conversation:

Mom: Did you ask Kelly to stop doing that to your toys?

Cate: Yes (nodding hesitantly)

Mom: Were you laughing when Kelly was doing this?

Cate: No (shaking head hesitantly)

Mom: Are you lying to me?

Cate: blank stare with tears welling in her eyes.

Mom: Answer me. Did you ask her to stop?

Cate: Shakes her head no.

Mom: Were you laughing?

Cate: Nods her head yes.

Now, I have no patience for liars. Really, I don't. And this isn't even something major that she needed to lie about. She wasn't going to get in any kind of trouble if she had just told me the truth. Add this to the fact that she lied to me a couple weeks ago and got caught. It makes for one pissed off mother.

I tell her that she needs to come and sit next to me on the couch so that we can talk some about this. I go through the whol "boy who cried wolf" scenarios and tell her why it is bad to lie and how I may not believe her one day when it is really necessary for me to believe her. Now the tears come....fast...furious! Heavy breathing, the kind where I am almosst certain she is going to hyperventilate and pass out in 8.7 secondss flat. Before we continue the conversation, I make her calm down.

After she calms, I ask her what she thinks her p*unishment should be. Man I used to hate when my mom asked me that question. The most obvious answer is no punishment at all, that I will never do the stupid act again. But I find myself asking anyway. To which she prompltly responds.... "A time out."

I tell her no. To which she is utterly shocked. I let her know that this can't be her p*unishment as it was the p*unishment that I gave when she was caught lying a couple of weeks ago and obviously that doesn't stop her from lying.

At this point, I am at a loss for what p*unishment I really should give her. Whcih kind of made me giggle on the inside. So I call Matt into the room. While he is aware of the situation, he has not participated in any of the discussion. I ask him what he thinks the p*unishment should be. He immediately has an answer (which impresses me tremendously!). He says that she should take her bath without playing and go straight to bed. Not a big deal really, until he said this..."And she isn't watching her shows before bed. She can just go straight to sleep."

Now, asking Cate to go straight to bed without watching some Spongebob is like ripping her toenails out one by one with pliers. When she hears this, the sobbing begins all over again. Once again, I get her to calm down and she asks me if she can at least have music on. There's that need for noise that has been with her since the NICU that appears it will never leave. I agree to it, Matt is a little peeved that I do, but I explain to him that she has never liked silence in bed. He agrees.

For the remainder of the evening, she is repeating how she wishes that she could erase this and she wishes it never happened, etc. To all of these comments, my response was

"The next time you think about lying to Mommy, I want you to remember exactly how you feel this very moment. Maybe that will stop you from doing it again."

(Nice huh!)

I must say that I felt like complete shit the entire evening for doing it to her. And I was on the verge of just talking to her and giving in several times. Thankfully, I had to drive mom to work so Matt was home to put her in bed. He had to be the one to enforce it. And he was fantastic at it!! I thanked him profusely for being the one to "stay sstrong" in the situation as I was so ready to cave in.

Hopefully she has learned her lesson. Although, I am still going to zing her the next time we are shopping and she asks for a toy. I will quickly remind her that she enjoyed destroying her toys and tell her that I am not sure I sshould buy them for her. And then, if Matt isn't with us, I will probably cave and buy her the stupid toy anyway!

Happy Birthday Matt!!!

Happy birthday to my sweet husband!

Caitlyn was very excited to give Matt his gifts, which consisted of a big bag of Twizzler's, a Mr. Wonderful Doll, and a card. All of which she picked out herself. And then she suggested that we take him out to dinner. Where else? Pizza Hut of course. Cause she knows how much Daddy likes their pizza. (the fact that it's her favorite place on the planet really had no impact I'm sure)

I got matt this nifty little "bouquet" from Edible Arrangements. Nothing too feminine, just manly enough ;] Unfortunately, it's not the Charger that he wanted, but it will have to do!




Happy Birthday Matthew!!! I love you :]

The Report Card

I have decided that I just don't like Caitlyn's teacher. I have also decided that I am not going to fight anything the woman says anymore. The only saving grace she has at this point in time is that she is a phenommenal reading teacher. That is the only positive thing that I can say about her at this point in time. Part of the reason that I won't be arguing with anything she says anymore, is the fact that there are only a handful of school days left in the year, and I just want (read, need) to be done with her.

The parent teacher conference was, as usual, a huge pain in my ass. Let me just run down a list of things that she said about my kid:
1. She wishes that Caitlyn would smile more.
2. She thinks Caitlyn has a tendency to be too sensitive to things.
3. She says Caitlyn is very/easily distracted when she is working in class.
4. She feels that Caitlyn is fully prepared for first grade and will have minimal difficulty with transitioning to first grade.

Now.....number 4 is all that is keeping me sane right about now.

Let's break some of these down a bit shall we?

1. Are you telling me that my daughter is frequently unhappy? "I often have to tell her to smile and be happy," says the teacher. When I question if Cate smiles while playing, while chatting with other kids, while being read to, etc, I am assured that she does. Well, then, when isn't she smiling? "When she is working on a worksheet," says the brilliant one. Well, hmmm, maybe she is concentrating? Or better yet, maybe she doesn't smile for you because she likes you about as much as I do???? Get bent lady, my kid is happy and smiles all the damn time when she is home. Of course, when it is appropriate to do so, not just because I think she should be smiling.

2. Caitlyn is very in tune with the feelings and emotions of others around her. Very often, she mirrors what others are feeling. Caitlyn has always been the kid to cry at the drop of a hat. I don't discourage this, if it is appropriate to cry in a situation, then by all means, I am going to allow her to cry. If it isn't appropriate, say for example when the lead on her pencil breaks, then we will discuss why that is nothing to cry about. But when she has done something wrong in class, like wrestling, and she is reprimanded for it, is it wrong for her to feel guilt and then cry? I don't think so. She has disappointed an authority in the classroom, so cry, feel better, and move on with the day. But apparently, this goes hand in hand with my kid not smiling enough.

3. Saying that my daughter is easily distracted means something entirely different to me than it does to other moms. I work in special ed, and I hear "easily distracted" thrown about no less than 10 times a day. And every time that it is mentioned to me, it needs to be explored whether or not this distractibility is interferring with their ability to learn. More often than not, the answer is no, but it bothers the hell out of the teacher that the kid isn't sitting still all day. I pose this very question to Caitlyn's teacher. "Is it impacting her ability to learn and complete work in the classroom?" Teacher responds with a very quick no. She also is very quick to tell Matt and I how perfectly normal it is. Really? Then why the fuck is it noted on her report card if it is something that is within normal limits?????

Here's the scenario of Caitlyn's distractibility:
Teacher: When Caitlyn is working on a worksheet, if the child next to her starts talking, she stops what she is doing and pays attention to that student.

Classroom environment:
All children sit at circular tables.
All children are within 1 foot (12 inches folks) of each other.
Teacher has said in the past that she encourages socialization (it is after all kindergarten)

Now tell me this, if you are sitting next to someone, 12 inches from them, and they start talking, and they are your friend, do you not pay attention??? Does that make me distractable because I do?

And finally, did the kid who started talking thus distracting my kid have anything said to them?? Probably not, as I am most certain that this has escalated to nothing more than a personality conflict at this point.

Because of this personality conflict, my daughter now has 2 checks for this marking period. Making a total of 5 checks so far for the year. Kindergarten!! 5 checks!!! What is wrong with that picture.

I ask the teacher why is it that on the behavior charts that come home every day, there are smiley faces for the majority of days. These marks on the report card certainly are not reflective of those behavior charts. To which she has no answer. Rather she dicks around and beats around the bush trying to convince me that the two are unrelated. Maybe in your world lady, but not in mine.

It is at this point that I have decided to just finish out the year as peacefully as possible. It is obvious that this woman can't give explanations for marks she gives on a report. And certainly does not approve of parents asking her questions, or should I say, calling her out on her bullshit. I am almost positive that my name has been mentioned to the first grade teachers. Which should make for a fun filled second year of school. But I know that I have to go into that year without any preconcienved notions.....at least that's what I keep trying to tell myself!

On a positive note....I am super proud of my little girlie who has mastered several of the skills that are on the report card. And when she told me that she was upset about the checks, I reassured her that I didn't give a hoot about those silly checks. That they mean absolutely nothing to me and I am just happy that she is learning and thriving in that classroom.

Just Some Random Thoughts

At the playground today, Caitlyn went to run towards the slide and hit her head right on the bar used for chin ups. It would appear that she has gotten taller by about an inch since the last time she was there. She is fine, and went right on running.

My wedding video is getting more play time now than it ever has in the past. She absolutely will not stop watching it. Over. And over. And over again. I seriously need to get that thing burned to DVD before it won't play anymore.

Polly Pockets are in fact the devil's creation. No child should be allowed to want to play with these damn toys. The shoes for these dolls....yeah they're about half the size of a small pinky nail. And God forbid if Polly doesn't have matching shoes because one is missing and there is a possibility that the damn cat ate it. I refuse to look through the cat litter box for it. There are just certain things at which I draw the line.

Report card pick up is Wednesday. Typically, parents look forward to these. Me? Not so much. It would appear that I am way too critical of this goofy teacher. Really, she is goofy. It's not just me. I have asked people.

I go in on Thursday to sign my contract for next year and negotiate salary. Not looking forward to this as I have a feeling that they don't want to give me any credit for my 10 years experience. Damn the TRS to hell right now.

Do I win money at Bingo? Hell no. I win ridiculous shit like this.

The Birthday Party

Today Caitlyn went to a birthday party. Nothing unusual about that really. However, I didn't stay there with her. It was the first time that I have done that. The opportunity has arisen in the past, but I have never taken advantage of it. But this time, I decided to bite the bullet and let it happen. We've had moms drop their kids off at her parties in the past, and I would think how strange that was. To just leave your kid there, and then come back a couple of hours later to get them again.

But when I talked to the mom when I RSVP'd, she had assured me that Cate would be fine there. That she had a fenced in yard and she had a large basement that the kids would be in if they weren't outside. She also mentioned that there were going to be a lot of adults there from her family. So it was almost as if she was telling me to not come along with Caitlyn.

When I told Cate that I wasn't going to be there with her, I expected a different response than I got. She promptly simply said...."Okay Mommy." I was baffled. This child that I call my cling on, could have cared less that I wasn't going to be there with her.

I guess I should be ecstatic about that. Right? Well, it makes me a little sad to be perfectly honest. Just demonstrates to me once again that she is getting older. Not like I'm thinking she doesn't need me or anything anymore. But it's just one more step of her pulling away from me and doing things on her own.

Matt had to pick her up because I was out doing some things with Mom. And she was happy as could be when I got home. Telling me about all the wonderful things she did. Oh, and she fell down the basement stairs. She just kind of threw that in there mid sentence. See, had I been there, that wouldn't have happened! But she was quick to tell me that she didn't cry and it hardly hurt as she only fell on her butt.

Later when I was giving her a bath, I immediately started thinking about all of the things that could have happened to her because I wasn't there. Things like an overly touch unlce, or a not so nice to play with cousin. All horrific things to me. I figured I couldn't come right out and ask her if anyone was "overly nice" to her or mean for that matter either. So I tried to beat around the bush. And all of her answers were perfectly acceptable. Which put my mind at ease.

So I guess this is the start of a new trend with the girlie. I would imagine that after a few parties I will start to look forward to the time by myself. Right??? Right????




.......and as a side note, I only drove by that silly party once to check on her in the backyard and she was having a ball. Despite not wearing her jacket like I told her to.

I Forgot

Silly me! In all the excitement about posting about my new job, I completely forgot to post pics and tell you about the girl's Easter. This year, for some reason, I didn't take pics of her coloring eggs. Not sure why I didn't, but I think it's because she was so into coloring the eggs with me, that I was completely engaged in the activity with her and never even thought about anything else. Or I am just a bad mom for not thinking about it. But I certainly do like the first explanation better.

Caitlyn loved loved loved coloring the eggs this year. She was all creative as far as what colors she was going to use and how she was going to mix the colors and precisely what color should be put on the egg first. She colored a total of 18. Normally, there aren't that many, but this year there were no casualties in the boiling process. So she got all of them, and no complaints from her about that.

When we were done coloring eggs, she decided that she wanted to write the Easter Bunny a letter. Which went a like this:
Hepe Estr
Luve Caitlyn

Nothing better than inventive spelling! If you need translating: Happy Easter Love Caitlyn. But it looks pretty much like it sounds I suppose.

Easter morning, Caitlyn woke up to a basket filled with goodies and ann empty egg carton. It didn't take her long to find all of the eggs. She had some trouble with a few of the more difficult ones, but she was able to find them all on her own. I am thinking that it's going to get increasinglly difficult to find new places to hide these eggs. We may have to expand to more rooms that just the living room and dining room.

For the next 4 hours or so, Caitlyn hung out watching TV and eating far too much candy and chocolate. But hey, that's what holidays are all about I suppose. She got to eat the goods and chill out while I cooked and finished up the cleaning. Once that was all done, it was bath time. And then she was FINALLY able to get into her dress. Which I do think that she asked me every 7 minutes if she could get dressed. From the time that she woke up until the time that I actually got her dressed.

And here is the end result:


You see, everything is a super model pose these days. She can't just stand there nicely for me to take a picture. She has to pose for it. Very often I have to tell her to just leave her hands at her side and let me take the damn picture. But she insisted on modeling the dress for me. And nothing I said could convince her otherwise.

I Got It!!

Stunned. This is what I am. I got the call from the assistant superintendent yesterday evening that I was the team's number one choice of the interviewees! How's that for spanking my ego ;) He said he just needed to call and check my references and that he would get back to me today to officially offer me the position.

Did I talk to him today? Well of course I didn't. I was helping Tutti clear up some bullshit at work that she is encountering. So my phone was on vibrate, and I had no idea that he called. So I called to leave a message to call me again tomorrow. Hopefully it doesn't make me sound like too much of a fool.

The one thing that needs to be squared away is how many years of experience they will give me. They are able to give up to 8, I have 10. However, none of my positions have been in "certified" positions. Basically what that means is that my certificate has been in an "exempt" status for the last 10 years. Current, but inactive. Which technically really isn't the case, but on paper that's what it looks like. So I am not sure how much negotiating on salary I am going to be able to do. Even if they can't give me the full 8 years, I would like something. Cause 10 years is a lot to just toss out the window.

In other news, Caitlyn is celebrating her "fake birthday" tomorrow at school. Because her birthday falls in the summer, she won't be in school for it. So like last year, the teacher puts on a little production for them so that the kid can experience what the other kids whose birthdays occur during the school year experience. Which is wonderful....unless you're a mom like me who completely forgets that this will be happening tomorrow. And you haven't purchased any cupcakes or anything for the kid to distribute. But fear not, Tutti ran right out and purchased 30 mini cupcakes for the girl. So all is right in her world now. And she has forgiven my ignorance ;)

It's gone!

So the antibiotic coupled with the inhaler has done the trick. The girlie is feeling much much better. And she is coughing so infrequently now, back to normalcy and niceness :)

Danny has made his way home and is on the road to recovery. Amazing how quickly kids can bounce back from major surgery isn't it?

My second interview is scheduled for this coming Monday at 1:30. I believe that there are 2 other people interviewing for the same position. At least that's what it seems since the girl who called said that she has 2 other people to schedule on that day. Or there are more and they have scheduled them on another day. Or I am just thinking way to much into it and I shouldn't worry about how many other people are interviewing?

It has been decided that Easter dinner will be at my house this year. Typically it is at Mary's house (Danny's mom). However, due to the recent events of surgery and Jack developing pink eye, it would seem to be the wisest option to just have it here. Which is kind of nice. Then we don't have to worry about leaving the house at all. So that's nice. The downside, I need to clean the hell out of my house. It really is quite the scary sight. And I do believe that the dust bunnies are rallying to overthrow me.