My girl made me so sad tonight

This morning when I was getting ready for work, Caityn was very upset that I had work and she didn't have school. She was crying horribly saying that she wanted to stay home with me today. Now normally, I would say to hell with work, and do some stuff from home and hang out with her all day. But I absolutely couldn't today. There were things that I had to get done and I had to be in the office to accomplish them. So I promised her that we would go to Chuck E Cheese's after work with Kelly and she felt a little better. Okay, ALOT better...I am so not beneath bribery with this child.

So I get her from my mom and off we go. And she is loving every minute of it. However, this glee was quickly marred. See we still struggle every now and again with pooping on the potty. But I can't remember the last time she had an accident....you can completely see where this is going no?

I witness her doing the pooping dance. This consists of her sitting down wherever she is at and bouncing her legs. Or as she is running, she is holding her ass. To the commoner, it looks like nothing out of the ordinary. To the trained eye of the mother of this child, I know full well what is going to occur. So I ask several times if she needs to take care of business in the bathroom. And of course she reassures me that I have nothing at all to worry about.

So the time comes to leave. I am just about to put her coat on and when I turn to face her, she has her pants around her ankles. For a split second, I actually giggle, then it dawns on me what she is doing. She is looking to see if there is in fact poop in her pants. And what do you think I saw...yes....poop. I quickly yank her pants back up and I am fuming....and she knows it. She asks me to take her in the bathroom and I tell her no can do, have no spares with me. Will clean you up when we get home.

So now she starts sobbing....screaming....people are looking. But it's okay you see, because they think that she is crying because she doesnt want to leave. Nothing looks out of the ordinary. And I am refraining from looking at her or speaking to her. Because I know then that the scene will look anything but ordinary. There will be a maniacal mother at Chuck E Cheese and innocent children don't need to see that.

We proceed to the car, she proceeds to tell me how badly it smells...I know, I have a nose, you don't have to tell me. And I continue to tell her that we will discuss it when we get home. Mostly because I don't want her to be embarrassed in front of Kelly. she keeps on asking me if I am mad and I keep on telling her that we aren't talking about it until we get home.

Then she pulls this beauty out of thin air.......

"You're mad at me because you don't want me anymore."

To say the least I was fucking shocked. Where on earth would she ever come up with that??? I don't think I have ever said anyting even remotely close to that to this child. The only thing that I can think of is that it is something that Kelly has mentioned to her. (Side note and brief synopsis...Kelly has been given up by her mother, adopted by a family, given back to foster home by that family as they said they couldn't handle her, lived in foster home a couple of years, now living with my mother.) So I am thinking that somewhere along the last few months, Kelly has mentioned being bad, not being wanted, and being given away. Makes sense right???

So we get home, I clean her up, and tell her how disappointed I am that she did it. Then we proceed to the couch to have a talk about what she said. No need to go into details, I am sure you can imagine what was said....I would never give you away, I love you, etc. The entire time, she sobbed. As if she was so sure that I really didn't want her.

So now, mom feels like shit, girl feels better. I didn't even have to bribe her to make her feel better about the whole situation either....so we all win!