The vacation has begun

How wonderful it is to sleep in until 10:30. And even better when you have a 4 year old that sleeps in until then right along with you.

The bridesmaid dresses....yes I will look like a parade float in August. I only say that because of course there was not one there that I could try on, so I have to assume the worst about it. See, there are 5 of us bridesmaids. 3 are very slim (1 of them is a size 2 so I will just convince myself that she really is anorexic or something to make myself feel better..that and the fact that she hasn't squeezed out any children). Then there is myself and another girl who are slightly bigger than the average girl. In terms of bridesmaids dresses, this means that we are nothing short of obese cows LOL!!! If I am feeling brave, maybe, just maybe I will put up some pics of myself in this ridiculous get up. The bride to be was there and is already showing her belly in all it's glory. And talking about how she is hoping to have a boy. Now mind you, she has a son already, and her second child is a girl. Reason she needs a boy child, 2 words "white trash." He first child is by a man she no longer sees. The second is by the man that she is marrying. He also a child with his ex-wife and that child is a girl. So she is complaining that she needs to have a boy for him so that she no longer has to bear children from this point on. My thinking, how about a healthy fucking child that you actually take care of??? There's a novel idea. But who am I? and what do I really know about birthing babies?? Nothing because they take mine out of my body far before they are ready and only after they have knocked me completely out. So needless to say, the bitterness continues and I am sure that it will until she has this child and it is a girl and she has another child that she can't take care of. All so that this man gets the son that he so desperately wants. Whatthehellever!!!

The open door policy in my house needs to cease immediately. I don't mean people showing up unexpected, I mean when my husband uses the bathroom, he must close the door now. Reason being, Caitlyn is now so very in tune with the differences between a man and a woman's body that she finds it necessary to make comments on the anatomy. The last thing that I need her doing is going to school telling them about her father's penis. That will most definitely have the child welfare people ringing my doorbell. Some time back, Cate made sure to tell Daddy that his penis looked like a bandaid (very flattering comment for his ego). Tonight, she assured him that it no longer looks like a bandaid, but a water hose. Now, although musch better for his ego, still not something that a father wants to discuss with his 4 year old. So the locks on the bathroom doors will be checked this week.

I was told in Shoe Carnival today (shoe shopping for the child whose feet WILL NOT stop growing) that I am a bad parent. Means a lot to me coming from some person that I have never met and will never see again and probably has no children. Cate was on the floor playing with the foot measuring thing (if anyone knows how to actually use that device please let me know) while I was waiting in line to pay. An employee squats down and tries talking to her. She looks at me and yells (I am about 6 feet away) "Mommy, I don't talk to strangers so I can't tell him my name!" The line erupts into laughter and my child is staring at me desperately searching for some reassurance that she is not going to be told she is being a bad girl. So me being the fabulous mother that I am tell her that she is right, she doesn't talk to strangers, and she doesn't have to tell him her name. I then kindly ask this man to just leave her be. He proceeds to ask me if she is just shy. I respond by telling him that he heard her response and she is not allowed to talk to strangers and that is why she won't tell you her name nor will she even look at you. He then tells me that I shouldn't worry so much, after all he is just a Shoe Carnival employee. I could give a shit if this guy is Jesus Christ and this is the second coming. I have taught this child not to speak to people she doesn't know and in actuality I am horribly proud of the fact that something I have told her in the last 4 years has managed to stick. Needless to say, I probably won't be frequenting that Shoe Carnival anymore as I am sure that mine and Caitlyn's picture is up with a big red circle around it and a line drawn through it with a caption that says "Do not speak to these people, they are weirdos and don't like to chit chat with Show Carnival employees."

Tomorrow we are off to Toys R Us to return the duplicate princess gifts that we got for the birthday. That is always a trip that I dread and usually ends up in one of us crying as we leave the store....start placing bets now as to who it will be, Caitlyn or mom.