Matt is going in for surgery at 6:30 tomorrow morning.
I am so torn with this decision. I guess I just hate the finality of it. While I know that it is in the best interest of my little family to have this done, it's just such a hard thing to let go of completely. I would probably be more comfortable with the decision if we had 2 or 3 children and those pregnancies were all well and good. But when you have a life threatening condition that forces you to give birth to a 25 weeker, and then go on to have 2 more miscarriages, I think it's safe to assume that the odds are just stacked up against us.
What I keep telling myself is that I can't tempt fate. We are so incredibly lucky with Caitlyn's developmental outcome that I often fear if we were to have another preemie, our luck wouldn't be the same. One of the biggest reasons that I believe this is the right decision for us though is because of Caitlyn. If we were to have another pregnancy and I became as ill as I was with Caitlyn, I don't want to even imagine the pain and suffering that would cause my baby girl. And if for some reason I were to die because of that pregnancy, I don't know what it would do to her. Her whole life would be turned upside down and inside out. Because of that, I know this is absolutely the right thing to do for our family.
Caitlyn has no idea what I am taking Matt to the hospital for. I have told her that it is because he has to have some blood work done. And because of that, he can't eat or take his insulin. So to make sure that he doesn't go low on the way there, I am driving him. While she is accepting this explanation, I don't know how much she is buying it. She has always been quite the intuitive little girl, and when I give her these reasons, she looks at me almost as if she is thinking, "I'll pretend like I believe you, but I know there is something much bigger going on here."
In recent months, Cate has started saying that she doesn't want a brother or sister. That she is perfectly content being an only child. I think the fact that she has begun to formulate relationships outside of school and she spends time on the phone with her friends and she goes to their houses, etc, she has learned that she doesn't need a sibling in order to have a playmate. Which is what I think her logic has been in the past. Not to mention the fact that this kid can clearly see how much more spoiled she is by being the only child and the only grandchild on my side of he family ;) She is a quick study that kid! So I don't worry about her not having siblings. She has plenty of cousins and extended family through close family friends that I think they can fill that void for her; as much as it can be filled.
So wish us luck. Actually, just Matt since he is the one who will be having the procedure done. I just need the luck to deal with him for the next few days. He needs much of the luck because he is still going on about this Brazilian thing and is none too pleased about it.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Take Your Daughter to Work Day
Caitlyn came to work with me on Thursday for Take Your Daughter to Work Day. I think it may actually be called Take your Child to Work Day now in order to be more politically correct?
I was curious to see how Caitlyn would respond to some of the children that I work with. While she has been exposed to children with disabilities since she was young, she hadn't been around them much in last few years. She does have a child with Down Syndrome in her class, but that is about the extent of her exposure these days. I knew that seeing some of my kids would be a very new experience for her.
The first school that I took her to, I had her in a room with a little boy who is 3 years old and nonverbal. He has never spoken a word and was recently diagnosed with autism. Caitlyn has never been around a child with autism, or a child who is nonverbal for that matter, so I wasn't sure how she was going to react. She really didn't interact much with this little boy. However, I don't think it was because of his limitations, but rather because of the age difference. There just isn't much that a 6 year old girl has in common with a 3 year old boy.
At the next school I took her to, there would be more children her age. In the classroom that we would be spending time in, there are 4 boys who have autism and one boy who has severe CP.
Caitlyn was immediately drawn to one of the little boys who is in second grade. She enjoyed playing on the floor with him with the blocks and the books. But she did notice that she had some trouble communicating with him. He is very soft spoken and often speaks off topic about things that he likes. None the less, she really enjoyed playing and interacting with him.
When I attempted to introduce her to the little boy with CP who is in a wheelchair, she backed off and said she didn't want to meet him. I was a little stunned by this to say the least. However, once he was out of his chair and on a mat on the floor, she warmed up some and ended up reading him a book and telling him he needed to listen to her when she would start acting like he wasn't paying attention! When I spoke to her about this later, she said that she was afraid of all of the wires on his chair (for his communication device) and she was worried that the wheels of his chair would roll over her toes.
After she said that, I thought those things were very plausible concerns for a 6 year old. Especially one that hasn't been exposed to wheelchairs. And really, if I were to get down to Caitlyn's height level, I can understand how all of those things could be concerning to her. Her head comes to about where the handles of the wheelchair are, and the wheels look much bigger from her point of view. What I am glad about though, is that I talked to her about it and helped her to understand that her fears/concerns were valid. As well as helped her to understand that while they were valid, I could help her to understand that those things were nothing to be afraid of.
All in all I think it was a good experience for her. I was proud of how much she actually took away from the experience. I have taken her to work in the past, but she was much too young to really understand the magnitude of what it was I did at work all day. When I came home on Friday, she asked me how each of the kids were doing by their names and how their day went. She was also excited because she got to stand up in class and tell her classmates what she did with me all day and about some of the kids that she met. So I know that she took something away from the experience. I think when I take her next year, I am going to have her complete an assignment of some sort ;)
I was curious to see how Caitlyn would respond to some of the children that I work with. While she has been exposed to children with disabilities since she was young, she hadn't been around them much in last few years. She does have a child with Down Syndrome in her class, but that is about the extent of her exposure these days. I knew that seeing some of my kids would be a very new experience for her.
The first school that I took her to, I had her in a room with a little boy who is 3 years old and nonverbal. He has never spoken a word and was recently diagnosed with autism. Caitlyn has never been around a child with autism, or a child who is nonverbal for that matter, so I wasn't sure how she was going to react. She really didn't interact much with this little boy. However, I don't think it was because of his limitations, but rather because of the age difference. There just isn't much that a 6 year old girl has in common with a 3 year old boy.
At the next school I took her to, there would be more children her age. In the classroom that we would be spending time in, there are 4 boys who have autism and one boy who has severe CP.
Caitlyn was immediately drawn to one of the little boys who is in second grade. She enjoyed playing on the floor with him with the blocks and the books. But she did notice that she had some trouble communicating with him. He is very soft spoken and often speaks off topic about things that he likes. None the less, she really enjoyed playing and interacting with him.
When I attempted to introduce her to the little boy with CP who is in a wheelchair, she backed off and said she didn't want to meet him. I was a little stunned by this to say the least. However, once he was out of his chair and on a mat on the floor, she warmed up some and ended up reading him a book and telling him he needed to listen to her when she would start acting like he wasn't paying attention! When I spoke to her about this later, she said that she was afraid of all of the wires on his chair (for his communication device) and she was worried that the wheels of his chair would roll over her toes.
After she said that, I thought those things were very plausible concerns for a 6 year old. Especially one that hasn't been exposed to wheelchairs. And really, if I were to get down to Caitlyn's height level, I can understand how all of those things could be concerning to her. Her head comes to about where the handles of the wheelchair are, and the wheels look much bigger from her point of view. What I am glad about though, is that I talked to her about it and helped her to understand that her fears/concerns were valid. As well as helped her to understand that while they were valid, I could help her to understand that those things were nothing to be afraid of.
All in all I think it was a good experience for her. I was proud of how much she actually took away from the experience. I have taken her to work in the past, but she was much too young to really understand the magnitude of what it was I did at work all day. When I came home on Friday, she asked me how each of the kids were doing by their names and how their day went. She was also excited because she got to stand up in class and tell her classmates what she did with me all day and about some of the kids that she met. So I know that she took something away from the experience. I think when I take her next year, I am going to have her complete an assignment of some sort ;)
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Report Card
We have made it through the third quarter, which means we are in the home stretch now. I have 34 days of school left and Caitlyn has 39. And, the weather is starting to warm up, which always gives me a warm fuzzy feeling.
We had Cate's parent teacher conferences this evening. I love this teacher so much, and I am going to be so sad when Caitlyn doesn't have her anymore.
Here are the grades:
Reading: A
Listening: A
Speaking: A
Math: B
Science: A
Social Sci: B
Art: A
Music: A
PE/Gym: A
Technology: A
Spelling B
Handwriting B
Conduct: A
She also got a ribbon for Citizenship and she didn't receive any checks :)
So all in all, I am very pleased with the report card again. Her teacher said that Caitlyn is participating a lot in class and she is doing really well in reading comprehension (based on the tests they have taken so far). They have also started timed tests in Math which include addition facts. The students are given a sheet of paper with various addition problems on them and they have 1 minute to answer all of the problems. So far Caitlyn has been able to answer all of the problems in the minute. Of course as the addition becomes more difficult, that may not be the case. But we will continue to plug along with that.
The teacher also said that there haven't been many complaints about her stomach hurting her either. Which I am surprised about. Only because of the changes that have gone on at home with me being in school. But I did tell the teacher about that before I started. To warn her that there may be complaints because I would be gone 2 nights a week. So hopefully we are done with that phase.
I am so proud of my little girlie :) She has proven time and time again just what a miracle she really is. And the surprises don't stop with this kid :)
We had Cate's parent teacher conferences this evening. I love this teacher so much, and I am going to be so sad when Caitlyn doesn't have her anymore.
Here are the grades:
Reading: A
Listening: A
Speaking: A
Math: B
Science: A
Social Sci: B
Art: A
Music: A
PE/Gym: A
Technology: A
Spelling B
Handwriting B
Conduct: A
She also got a ribbon for Citizenship and she didn't receive any checks :)
So all in all, I am very pleased with the report card again. Her teacher said that Caitlyn is participating a lot in class and she is doing really well in reading comprehension (based on the tests they have taken so far). They have also started timed tests in Math which include addition facts. The students are given a sheet of paper with various addition problems on them and they have 1 minute to answer all of the problems. So far Caitlyn has been able to answer all of the problems in the minute. Of course as the addition becomes more difficult, that may not be the case. But we will continue to plug along with that.
The teacher also said that there haven't been many complaints about her stomach hurting her either. Which I am surprised about. Only because of the changes that have gone on at home with me being in school. But I did tell the teacher about that before I started. To warn her that there may be complaints because I would be gone 2 nights a week. So hopefully we are done with that phase.
I am so proud of my little girlie :) She has proven time and time again just what a miracle she really is. And the surprises don't stop with this kid :)
Thursday, April 10, 2008
A Brazilian
Matt and I have both agreed that the time has come for a vasectomy. I know that I have mentioned this before. But I think when we first started talking about it neither of us were really "ready." And now it seems that we are finally at that point. Mainly because the cons now certainly out weigh the pros. So essentially it becomes a no brainer.
So Matt went for a consultation with the doctor last week. When he came home we were discussing the procedure and what not. We are careful not to mention it in front of Cate for a variety of reasons. One being that she is far too young to really understand what we are talking about. Second, she will be so so scared if she knows Matt is having surgery. So we speak elusively about the subject when she is around.
After she went to bed, Matt called his sister's husband to get the "inside scoop" on the procedure. Before ending the conversation, Matt asked if they would have to shave him. You know...down there. And our dear brother in law said:
"You are now the proud owner of a Brazilian."
Matt felt compelled to tell me and of course, just as he was, Caitlyn was coming down the stairs. And she had a whole lot to say about a Brazilian.
C: "You're getting a Brazilian dollars???" (with mouth hanging open)
C: "How much money is that?"
C: "What are we going to do with it??
She managed all of these questions before either of us could even get a word in edgewise and correct her. We finally we able to tell her that a Brazilian is a hair cut and not money. She was quite disappointed.
So Matt went for a consultation with the doctor last week. When he came home we were discussing the procedure and what not. We are careful not to mention it in front of Cate for a variety of reasons. One being that she is far too young to really understand what we are talking about. Second, she will be so so scared if she knows Matt is having surgery. So we speak elusively about the subject when she is around.
After she went to bed, Matt called his sister's husband to get the "inside scoop" on the procedure. Before ending the conversation, Matt asked if they would have to shave him. You know...down there. And our dear brother in law said:
"You are now the proud owner of a Brazilian."
Matt felt compelled to tell me and of course, just as he was, Caitlyn was coming down the stairs. And she had a whole lot to say about a Brazilian.
C: "You're getting a Brazilian dollars???" (with mouth hanging open)
C: "How much money is that?"
C: "What are we going to do with it??
She managed all of these questions before either of us could even get a word in edgewise and correct her. We finally we able to tell her that a Brazilian is a hair cut and not money. She was quite disappointed.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
A Lucky Girl
Today Caitlyn received an award at an assembly at school. She received a POPS award, which stands for Power of Positive Student. She received it in the area of courage. They give a few of these out each quarter to the kids and they get a certificate and walk across the stage to get the certificate from the principal of the school. She was so so so thrilled to be getting this. And Matt and I couldn't be more proud of course ;)
Unfortunately, I wasn't able to attend the assembly. Normally, I can rearrange my schedule so that I see kids later in the day and then stay later in the afternoon to finish up what needs to be done in my office. However, this morning I had an annual review to attend. And it was for a "high profile" kid, so there was absolutely no way that I could miss it nor could I show up late. See, these parents insist on every single team member being there for pretty much the duration of the meeting, regardless of what they have to offer at the table. So my kiddo was devastated that I wouldn't be there.
In lieu of being at the assembly, I told her that we would go to Pizza Hut for dinner to celebrate when Matt got home from work. And we did just that. We are also going to buy a frame for the certificate and hang it in her room.
After dinner, we had to go to KMart to pick a few things up. While we were there (because those trips always turn into more than just running in and out for what we need) the girlie found $20.00 on the floor. This was right after she came running up to me all excited and squealing that it was her lucky day because she had found a dime. She came running up to me a second time waving something in the air and squealing again. Only this time she was waving a 20 dollar bill shouting,
"I have 21 cents now!!!"
Not exactly kid! But I think you're right about something....it must be your lucky day!
I start my classes on MOnday evening. I will be going on MOndys and Wednesdays from 6-9pm. So I will knock off 2 of the classes necessary for the LBS endorsement. Once those are out of the way, June 15th, the university can sign off on the emergency certificate form, and the district can then apply for it. I have been reassured by the district that once those classes are finished, they will be applying for said certificate. I can't do anything but have blind faith that they are telling me the truth. Fingers crossed!
Unfortunately, I wasn't able to attend the assembly. Normally, I can rearrange my schedule so that I see kids later in the day and then stay later in the afternoon to finish up what needs to be done in my office. However, this morning I had an annual review to attend. And it was for a "high profile" kid, so there was absolutely no way that I could miss it nor could I show up late. See, these parents insist on every single team member being there for pretty much the duration of the meeting, regardless of what they have to offer at the table. So my kiddo was devastated that I wouldn't be there.
In lieu of being at the assembly, I told her that we would go to Pizza Hut for dinner to celebrate when Matt got home from work. And we did just that. We are also going to buy a frame for the certificate and hang it in her room.
After dinner, we had to go to KMart to pick a few things up. While we were there (because those trips always turn into more than just running in and out for what we need) the girlie found $20.00 on the floor. This was right after she came running up to me all excited and squealing that it was her lucky day because she had found a dime. She came running up to me a second time waving something in the air and squealing again. Only this time she was waving a 20 dollar bill shouting,
"I have 21 cents now!!!"
Not exactly kid! But I think you're right about something....it must be your lucky day!
I start my classes on MOnday evening. I will be going on MOndys and Wednesdays from 6-9pm. So I will knock off 2 of the classes necessary for the LBS endorsement. Once those are out of the way, June 15th, the university can sign off on the emergency certificate form, and the district can then apply for it. I have been reassured by the district that once those classes are finished, they will be applying for said certificate. I can't do anything but have blind faith that they are telling me the truth. Fingers crossed!
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