Sunday, July 17, 2005
Saturday, July 16, 2005
3 hours of my life...wasted!
I am one of those parents that has my child's picture taken every year. I love to compare pictures of her from way back when and see how much she has changed and grown in the last few years. We go to Kiddie Kandids, through Babies R Us, because you don't need an appointment, you get your pictures within 5 minutes of having them taken, and most importantly, they are not horribly expensive. Okay, I will confess that part of the reason that they aren't terribly expensive is because I buy a few sheets of the different poses and come home and scan them in and print out more. Illegal? Absolutely. But I am not willing to pay through my ass for pictures of my own kid. I should own the copyright to them, not Kiddie Kandids.
Anyway, the pictures came out beautiful. But when the subject is Caitlyn, how can it not be right :P They will be sent to me via email, so whichever comes first, the email or my scanning, I will be sure to post them afterwards.
So why you ask was this a huge waste of my time. Very simple, the people in front of me with 2 children had absolutely NO condiseration for the people behind them. They took NO LESS that an hour and 45 minutes to take pictures. Then to choose which ones they wanted....well that process was almost 30 minutes. Now typically this whole process shouldn't take more than an hour. With one child, it takes me about 20 minutes to take the pics and maybe 15 to pick the ones that I want. Before going in, I know precisely how many sheets I plan on ordering so that all I have to do is pick out the poses I want. And when they try to sell me the t-shirts, mugs, aprons, and all the other crap with my kids picture on it I simply decline. There is no need to mull that over and debate whether or not I need a hot pad with Caitlyn's picture on it.
SO the reason that I am so aggravated with this whole process is because of the ignorance of the people ahead of me. Not to mention the fact that it is Saturday and you would think that there would be more than one person working at the damn place so that while one employee is taking pictures, the other can be with the previous photo subjects deciding on what packages they want. Eventually, I walked my child up to the area and sat her down posing her on my own so that they would get the hint that there were other people there ready to take pictures...bitchy? Why yes, I'll take 2 please.
Anyway, the pictures came out beautiful. But when the subject is Caitlyn, how can it not be right :P They will be sent to me via email, so whichever comes first, the email or my scanning, I will be sure to post them afterwards.
So why you ask was this a huge waste of my time. Very simple, the people in front of me with 2 children had absolutely NO condiseration for the people behind them. They took NO LESS that an hour and 45 minutes to take pictures. Then to choose which ones they wanted....well that process was almost 30 minutes. Now typically this whole process shouldn't take more than an hour. With one child, it takes me about 20 minutes to take the pics and maybe 15 to pick the ones that I want. Before going in, I know precisely how many sheets I plan on ordering so that all I have to do is pick out the poses I want. And when they try to sell me the t-shirts, mugs, aprons, and all the other crap with my kids picture on it I simply decline. There is no need to mull that over and debate whether or not I need a hot pad with Caitlyn's picture on it.
SO the reason that I am so aggravated with this whole process is because of the ignorance of the people ahead of me. Not to mention the fact that it is Saturday and you would think that there would be more than one person working at the damn place so that while one employee is taking pictures, the other can be with the previous photo subjects deciding on what packages they want. Eventually, I walked my child up to the area and sat her down posing her on my own so that they would get the hint that there were other people there ready to take pictures...bitchy? Why yes, I'll take 2 please.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
What to write about first. We'll start off with a good laugh.
I am trying to get Caitlyn into panties throughout the night instead of a pull up. So since she usually takes a sippy cup of something to drink into bed with her, I figure that is the first thing that I will eliminate. Instead she is given a small glass of something to drink before we head upstairs. The other night she was taking forever to drink her milk, stalling as a tactic. When she finished, she started to cough. It's a running joke with Cate that when she coughs I say something to the effect of her darn cough coming back, which then causes her to do the fake cough to try and get some sympathy from me. So after she coughs, I say the typical line and she corrects me and tells me exactly why she is coughing.
"I am coughing from all the damn milk."
Naturally, Matt and I being the fab parents that we are, we start laughing hysterically. To which Cate obviously responds to, but not in the obvious way of repeating it. She comes up to me and rubs my leg and says,
"I'm sorry Mommy." (I respond with what are you sorry for?)
"For saying the word damn."
So not only does she use the word, she now knows that they are wrong. At least she apologized for it. I guess that is somewhat comforting to me.
Now onto my husband who has pissed me off so horribly that I am thinking I need to make sure that the life insuance policies are paid up so that when I kill him, at least I will get something in return for my troubles.
Those of you who know me, know that Matt is a diabetic. He has also had seizures in the past due to low blood sugars. So I tend to be a fanatic at times about him testing. And it's almost as though I have a sixth sense and can immediately tell when he is on his way to a low blood sugar (not sixth sense in the I see dead people sense :P). I have always told Matt that after he is done coaching football camp, he needs to test before driving home because standing in the sun and eserting loads of energy takes it's toll on his blood sugar. But who I am and what the fuck do I know about anything? I don't have letters after my name, so I must not know my ass from a hole in the ground.
I get a call from him MOnday evening at about 7ish, the time when he should normally be very near home. And I can tell immediately by the sound of his voice and the words he is using that his blood sugar is low. I ask him if he's okay, he tells me he doesn't know where he's at. Now, we live in Chicago and yes it is a big city, but for God's sake, he is only coming from a football fienld a few miles away and I wouldn't expect him to get lost on the way home under normal circumstances. So I tell him to pull over, which he has already done. I then tell him he needs to find a store, restaurant, something where there are some people around. Again, living in Chicago and not knowing where he is, this could prove to be a big mistake. He approaches a man and hands him the phone. I tell this man he is a diabetic and needs sugar pronto. Of course, the only guy Matt finds is someone who has nothing on him. I ask the man to take him to a store or a restaurant and get him some sugar pop and some candy. Which he agrees to do. Then I ask where the hell they are so that I can come and pick up his sorry ass. Thankfully, he was only in one of the neighboring suburbs about 15 minutes from home. By the time that I got to him, after be stopped by no less than 2 freight trains, his blood sugar was normal and we were on our way home.
Obviously, we get home and the lecture ensues. About how he needs to test more frequently, etc. Know what his response is?? Well, you always told me to pull over if I go low so you should be happy I did that. Are you fucking kidding me??? Had you done what you were supposed to and tested more often, there would have been no need to pull over. So he promises to be better blah blah blah.
Guess what??
The next 2 days in a row, same damn thing. Only this time he was home both times so at least he was relatively safe. The most aggravating part is that he is so rotten when he is low and WILL NOT listen to reason whatsoever. On the third night when all was well again, he had the nerve to ask to get laid. What the hell is wrong with this man??? Other than the fact that he is a typical male who doesn't listen to the wife yet still expects to get a piece of ass.
Onto happier things...the vacation is going wonderful and I have managed to stay out of the malls and not spend huge amounts of money out of sheer boredom. Which is a good thing. Caitlyn is enjoying the hell out of neing home with me and running errands with me. So needless to say, when it is time to go back to work and start getting her ready in the morning, she is going to be a real bundle of joy!
I am trying to get Caitlyn into panties throughout the night instead of a pull up. So since she usually takes a sippy cup of something to drink into bed with her, I figure that is the first thing that I will eliminate. Instead she is given a small glass of something to drink before we head upstairs. The other night she was taking forever to drink her milk, stalling as a tactic. When she finished, she started to cough. It's a running joke with Cate that when she coughs I say something to the effect of her darn cough coming back, which then causes her to do the fake cough to try and get some sympathy from me. So after she coughs, I say the typical line and she corrects me and tells me exactly why she is coughing.
"I am coughing from all the damn milk."
Naturally, Matt and I being the fab parents that we are, we start laughing hysterically. To which Cate obviously responds to, but not in the obvious way of repeating it. She comes up to me and rubs my leg and says,
"I'm sorry Mommy." (I respond with what are you sorry for?)
"For saying the word damn."
So not only does she use the word, she now knows that they are wrong. At least she apologized for it. I guess that is somewhat comforting to me.
Now onto my husband who has pissed me off so horribly that I am thinking I need to make sure that the life insuance policies are paid up so that when I kill him, at least I will get something in return for my troubles.
Those of you who know me, know that Matt is a diabetic. He has also had seizures in the past due to low blood sugars. So I tend to be a fanatic at times about him testing. And it's almost as though I have a sixth sense and can immediately tell when he is on his way to a low blood sugar (not sixth sense in the I see dead people sense :P). I have always told Matt that after he is done coaching football camp, he needs to test before driving home because standing in the sun and eserting loads of energy takes it's toll on his blood sugar. But who I am and what the fuck do I know about anything? I don't have letters after my name, so I must not know my ass from a hole in the ground.
I get a call from him MOnday evening at about 7ish, the time when he should normally be very near home. And I can tell immediately by the sound of his voice and the words he is using that his blood sugar is low. I ask him if he's okay, he tells me he doesn't know where he's at. Now, we live in Chicago and yes it is a big city, but for God's sake, he is only coming from a football fienld a few miles away and I wouldn't expect him to get lost on the way home under normal circumstances. So I tell him to pull over, which he has already done. I then tell him he needs to find a store, restaurant, something where there are some people around. Again, living in Chicago and not knowing where he is, this could prove to be a big mistake. He approaches a man and hands him the phone. I tell this man he is a diabetic and needs sugar pronto. Of course, the only guy Matt finds is someone who has nothing on him. I ask the man to take him to a store or a restaurant and get him some sugar pop and some candy. Which he agrees to do. Then I ask where the hell they are so that I can come and pick up his sorry ass. Thankfully, he was only in one of the neighboring suburbs about 15 minutes from home. By the time that I got to him, after be stopped by no less than 2 freight trains, his blood sugar was normal and we were on our way home.
Obviously, we get home and the lecture ensues. About how he needs to test more frequently, etc. Know what his response is?? Well, you always told me to pull over if I go low so you should be happy I did that. Are you fucking kidding me??? Had you done what you were supposed to and tested more often, there would have been no need to pull over. So he promises to be better blah blah blah.
Guess what??
The next 2 days in a row, same damn thing. Only this time he was home both times so at least he was relatively safe. The most aggravating part is that he is so rotten when he is low and WILL NOT listen to reason whatsoever. On the third night when all was well again, he had the nerve to ask to get laid. What the hell is wrong with this man??? Other than the fact that he is a typical male who doesn't listen to the wife yet still expects to get a piece of ass.
Onto happier things...the vacation is going wonderful and I have managed to stay out of the malls and not spend huge amounts of money out of sheer boredom. Which is a good thing. Caitlyn is enjoying the hell out of neing home with me and running errands with me. So needless to say, when it is time to go back to work and start getting her ready in the morning, she is going to be a real bundle of joy!
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
The vacation has begun
How wonderful it is to sleep in until 10:30. And even better when you have a 4 year old that sleeps in until then right along with you.
The bridesmaid dresses....yes I will look like a parade float in August. I only say that because of course there was not one there that I could try on, so I have to assume the worst about it. See, there are 5 of us bridesmaids. 3 are very slim (1 of them is a size 2 so I will just convince myself that she really is anorexic or something to make myself feel better..that and the fact that she hasn't squeezed out any children). Then there is myself and another girl who are slightly bigger than the average girl. In terms of bridesmaids dresses, this means that we are nothing short of obese cows LOL!!! If I am feeling brave, maybe, just maybe I will put up some pics of myself in this ridiculous get up. The bride to be was there and is already showing her belly in all it's glory. And talking about how she is hoping to have a boy. Now mind you, she has a son already, and her second child is a girl. Reason she needs a boy child, 2 words "white trash." He first child is by a man she no longer sees. The second is by the man that she is marrying. He also a child with his ex-wife and that child is a girl. So she is complaining that she needs to have a boy for him so that she no longer has to bear children from this point on. My thinking, how about a healthy fucking child that you actually take care of??? There's a novel idea. But who am I? and what do I really know about birthing babies?? Nothing because they take mine out of my body far before they are ready and only after they have knocked me completely out. So needless to say, the bitterness continues and I am sure that it will until she has this child and it is a girl and she has another child that she can't take care of. All so that this man gets the son that he so desperately wants. Whatthehellever!!!
The open door policy in my house needs to cease immediately. I don't mean people showing up unexpected, I mean when my husband uses the bathroom, he must close the door now. Reason being, Caitlyn is now so very in tune with the differences between a man and a woman's body that she finds it necessary to make comments on the anatomy. The last thing that I need her doing is going to school telling them about her father's penis. That will most definitely have the child welfare people ringing my doorbell. Some time back, Cate made sure to tell Daddy that his penis looked like a bandaid (very flattering comment for his ego). Tonight, she assured him that it no longer looks like a bandaid, but a water hose. Now, although musch better for his ego, still not something that a father wants to discuss with his 4 year old. So the locks on the bathroom doors will be checked this week.
I was told in Shoe Carnival today (shoe shopping for the child whose feet WILL NOT stop growing) that I am a bad parent. Means a lot to me coming from some person that I have never met and will never see again and probably has no children. Cate was on the floor playing with the foot measuring thing (if anyone knows how to actually use that device please let me know) while I was waiting in line to pay. An employee squats down and tries talking to her. She looks at me and yells (I am about 6 feet away) "Mommy, I don't talk to strangers so I can't tell him my name!" The line erupts into laughter and my child is staring at me desperately searching for some reassurance that she is not going to be told she is being a bad girl. So me being the fabulous mother that I am tell her that she is right, she doesn't talk to strangers, and she doesn't have to tell him her name. I then kindly ask this man to just leave her be. He proceeds to ask me if she is just shy. I respond by telling him that he heard her response and she is not allowed to talk to strangers and that is why she won't tell you her name nor will she even look at you. He then tells me that I shouldn't worry so much, after all he is just a Shoe Carnival employee. I could give a shit if this guy is Jesus Christ and this is the second coming. I have taught this child not to speak to people she doesn't know and in actuality I am horribly proud of the fact that something I have told her in the last 4 years has managed to stick. Needless to say, I probably won't be frequenting that Shoe Carnival anymore as I am sure that mine and Caitlyn's picture is up with a big red circle around it and a line drawn through it with a caption that says "Do not speak to these people, they are weirdos and don't like to chit chat with Show Carnival employees."
Tomorrow we are off to Toys R Us to return the duplicate princess gifts that we got for the birthday. That is always a trip that I dread and usually ends up in one of us crying as we leave the store....start placing bets now as to who it will be, Caitlyn or mom.
The bridesmaid dresses....yes I will look like a parade float in August. I only say that because of course there was not one there that I could try on, so I have to assume the worst about it. See, there are 5 of us bridesmaids. 3 are very slim (1 of them is a size 2 so I will just convince myself that she really is anorexic or something to make myself feel better..that and the fact that she hasn't squeezed out any children). Then there is myself and another girl who are slightly bigger than the average girl. In terms of bridesmaids dresses, this means that we are nothing short of obese cows LOL!!! If I am feeling brave, maybe, just maybe I will put up some pics of myself in this ridiculous get up. The bride to be was there and is already showing her belly in all it's glory. And talking about how she is hoping to have a boy. Now mind you, she has a son already, and her second child is a girl. Reason she needs a boy child, 2 words "white trash." He first child is by a man she no longer sees. The second is by the man that she is marrying. He also a child with his ex-wife and that child is a girl. So she is complaining that she needs to have a boy for him so that she no longer has to bear children from this point on. My thinking, how about a healthy fucking child that you actually take care of??? There's a novel idea. But who am I? and what do I really know about birthing babies?? Nothing because they take mine out of my body far before they are ready and only after they have knocked me completely out. So needless to say, the bitterness continues and I am sure that it will until she has this child and it is a girl and she has another child that she can't take care of. All so that this man gets the son that he so desperately wants. Whatthehellever!!!
The open door policy in my house needs to cease immediately. I don't mean people showing up unexpected, I mean when my husband uses the bathroom, he must close the door now. Reason being, Caitlyn is now so very in tune with the differences between a man and a woman's body that she finds it necessary to make comments on the anatomy. The last thing that I need her doing is going to school telling them about her father's penis. That will most definitely have the child welfare people ringing my doorbell. Some time back, Cate made sure to tell Daddy that his penis looked like a bandaid (very flattering comment for his ego). Tonight, she assured him that it no longer looks like a bandaid, but a water hose. Now, although musch better for his ego, still not something that a father wants to discuss with his 4 year old. So the locks on the bathroom doors will be checked this week.
I was told in Shoe Carnival today (shoe shopping for the child whose feet WILL NOT stop growing) that I am a bad parent. Means a lot to me coming from some person that I have never met and will never see again and probably has no children. Cate was on the floor playing with the foot measuring thing (if anyone knows how to actually use that device please let me know) while I was waiting in line to pay. An employee squats down and tries talking to her. She looks at me and yells (I am about 6 feet away) "Mommy, I don't talk to strangers so I can't tell him my name!" The line erupts into laughter and my child is staring at me desperately searching for some reassurance that she is not going to be told she is being a bad girl. So me being the fabulous mother that I am tell her that she is right, she doesn't talk to strangers, and she doesn't have to tell him her name. I then kindly ask this man to just leave her be. He proceeds to ask me if she is just shy. I respond by telling him that he heard her response and she is not allowed to talk to strangers and that is why she won't tell you her name nor will she even look at you. He then tells me that I shouldn't worry so much, after all he is just a Shoe Carnival employee. I could give a shit if this guy is Jesus Christ and this is the second coming. I have taught this child not to speak to people she doesn't know and in actuality I am horribly proud of the fact that something I have told her in the last 4 years has managed to stick. Needless to say, I probably won't be frequenting that Shoe Carnival anymore as I am sure that mine and Caitlyn's picture is up with a big red circle around it and a line drawn through it with a caption that says "Do not speak to these people, they are weirdos and don't like to chit chat with Show Carnival employees."
Tomorrow we are off to Toys R Us to return the duplicate princess gifts that we got for the birthday. That is always a trip that I dread and usually ends up in one of us crying as we leave the store....start placing bets now as to who it will be, Caitlyn or mom.
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