The 4 Year Pictures

Here they are. How cute is she!!!

3 hours of my life...wasted!

I am one of those parents that has my child's picture taken every year. I love to compare pictures of her from way back when and see how much she has changed and grown in the last few years. We go to Kiddie Kandids, through Babies R Us, because you don't need an appointment, you get your pictures within 5 minutes of having them taken, and most importantly, they are not horribly expensive. Okay, I will confess that part of the reason that they aren't terribly expensive is because I buy a few sheets of the different poses and come home and scan them in and print out more. Illegal? Absolutely. But I am not willing to pay through my ass for pictures of my own kid. I should own the copyright to them, not Kiddie Kandids.

Anyway, the pictures came out beautiful. But when the subject is Caitlyn, how can it not be right :P They will be sent to me via email, so whichever comes first, the email or my scanning, I will be sure to post them afterwards.

So why you ask was this a huge waste of my time. Very simple, the people in front of me with 2 children had absolutely NO condiseration for the people behind them. They took NO LESS that an hour and 45 minutes to take pictures. Then to choose which ones they wanted....well that process was almost 30 minutes. Now typically this whole process shouldn't take more than an hour. With one child, it takes me about 20 minutes to take the pics and maybe 15 to pick the ones that I want. Before going in, I know precisely how many sheets I plan on ordering so that all I have to do is pick out the poses I want. And when they try to sell me the t-shirts, mugs, aprons, and all the other crap with my kids picture on it I simply decline. There is no need to mull that over and debate whether or not I need a hot pad with Caitlyn's picture on it.

SO the reason that I am so aggravated with this whole process is because of the ignorance of the people ahead of me. Not to mention the fact that it is Saturday and you would think that there would be more than one person working at the damn place so that while one employee is taking pictures, the other can be with the previous photo subjects deciding on what packages they want. Eventually, I walked my child up to the area and sat her down posing her on my own so that they would get the hint that there were other people there ready to take pictures...bitchy? Why yes, I'll take 2 please.

What to write about first. We'll start off with a good laugh.

I am trying to get Caitlyn into panties throughout the night instead of a pull up. So since she usually takes a sippy cup of something to drink into bed with her, I figure that is the first thing that I will eliminate. Instead she is given a small glass of something to drink before we head upstairs. The other night she was taking forever to drink her milk, stalling as a tactic. When she finished, she started to cough. It's a running joke with Cate that when she coughs I say something to the effect of her darn cough coming back, which then causes her to do the fake cough to try and get some sympathy from me. So after she coughs, I say the typical line and she corrects me and tells me exactly why she is coughing.

"I am coughing from all the damn milk."

Naturally, Matt and I being the fab parents that we are, we start laughing hysterically. To which Cate obviously responds to, but not in the obvious way of repeating it. She comes up to me and rubs my leg and says,

"I'm sorry Mommy." (I respond with what are you sorry for?)
"For saying the word damn."

So not only does she use the word, she now knows that they are wrong. At least she apologized for it. I guess that is somewhat comforting to me.

Now onto my husband who has pissed me off so horribly that I am thinking I need to make sure that the life insuance policies are paid up so that when I kill him, at least I will get something in return for my troubles.

Those of you who know me, know that Matt is a diabetic. He has also had seizures in the past due to low blood sugars. So I tend to be a fanatic at times about him testing. And it's almost as though I have a sixth sense and can immediately tell when he is on his way to a low blood sugar (not sixth sense in the I see dead people sense :P). I have always told Matt that after he is done coaching football camp, he needs to test before driving home because standing in the sun and eserting loads of energy takes it's toll on his blood sugar. But who I am and what the fuck do I know about anything? I don't have letters after my name, so I must not know my ass from a hole in the ground.

I get a call from him MOnday evening at about 7ish, the time when he should normally be very near home. And I can tell immediately by the sound of his voice and the words he is using that his blood sugar is low. I ask him if he's okay, he tells me he doesn't know where he's at. Now, we live in Chicago and yes it is a big city, but for God's sake, he is only coming from a football fienld a few miles away and I wouldn't expect him to get lost on the way home under normal circumstances. So I tell him to pull over, which he has already done. I then tell him he needs to find a store, restaurant, something where there are some people around. Again, living in Chicago and not knowing where he is, this could prove to be a big mistake. He approaches a man and hands him the phone. I tell this man he is a diabetic and needs sugar pronto. Of course, the only guy Matt finds is someone who has nothing on him. I ask the man to take him to a store or a restaurant and get him some sugar pop and some candy. Which he agrees to do. Then I ask where the hell they are so that I can come and pick up his sorry ass. Thankfully, he was only in one of the neighboring suburbs about 15 minutes from home. By the time that I got to him, after be stopped by no less than 2 freight trains, his blood sugar was normal and we were on our way home.

Obviously, we get home and the lecture ensues. About how he needs to test more frequently, etc. Know what his response is?? Well, you always told me to pull over if I go low so you should be happy I did that. Are you fucking kidding me??? Had you done what you were supposed to and tested more often, there would have been no need to pull over. So he promises to be better blah blah blah.

Guess what??

The next 2 days in a row, same damn thing. Only this time he was home both times so at least he was relatively safe. The most aggravating part is that he is so rotten when he is low and WILL NOT listen to reason whatsoever. On the third night when all was well again, he had the nerve to ask to get laid. What the hell is wrong with this man??? Other than the fact that he is a typical male who doesn't listen to the wife yet still expects to get a piece of ass.

Onto happier things...the vacation is going wonderful and I have managed to stay out of the malls and not spend huge amounts of money out of sheer boredom. Which is a good thing. Caitlyn is enjoying the hell out of neing home with me and running errands with me. So needless to say, when it is time to go back to work and start getting her ready in the morning, she is going to be a real bundle of joy!

The vacation has begun

How wonderful it is to sleep in until 10:30. And even better when you have a 4 year old that sleeps in until then right along with you.

The bridesmaid dresses....yes I will look like a parade float in August. I only say that because of course there was not one there that I could try on, so I have to assume the worst about it. See, there are 5 of us bridesmaids. 3 are very slim (1 of them is a size 2 so I will just convince myself that she really is anorexic or something to make myself feel better..that and the fact that she hasn't squeezed out any children). Then there is myself and another girl who are slightly bigger than the average girl. In terms of bridesmaids dresses, this means that we are nothing short of obese cows LOL!!! If I am feeling brave, maybe, just maybe I will put up some pics of myself in this ridiculous get up. The bride to be was there and is already showing her belly in all it's glory. And talking about how she is hoping to have a boy. Now mind you, she has a son already, and her second child is a girl. Reason she needs a boy child, 2 words "white trash." He first child is by a man she no longer sees. The second is by the man that she is marrying. He also a child with his ex-wife and that child is a girl. So she is complaining that she needs to have a boy for him so that she no longer has to bear children from this point on. My thinking, how about a healthy fucking child that you actually take care of??? There's a novel idea. But who am I? and what do I really know about birthing babies?? Nothing because they take mine out of my body far before they are ready and only after they have knocked me completely out. So needless to say, the bitterness continues and I am sure that it will until she has this child and it is a girl and she has another child that she can't take care of. All so that this man gets the son that he so desperately wants. Whatthehellever!!!

The open door policy in my house needs to cease immediately. I don't mean people showing up unexpected, I mean when my husband uses the bathroom, he must close the door now. Reason being, Caitlyn is now so very in tune with the differences between a man and a woman's body that she finds it necessary to make comments on the anatomy. The last thing that I need her doing is going to school telling them about her father's penis. That will most definitely have the child welfare people ringing my doorbell. Some time back, Cate made sure to tell Daddy that his penis looked like a bandaid (very flattering comment for his ego). Tonight, she assured him that it no longer looks like a bandaid, but a water hose. Now, although musch better for his ego, still not something that a father wants to discuss with his 4 year old. So the locks on the bathroom doors will be checked this week.

I was told in Shoe Carnival today (shoe shopping for the child whose feet WILL NOT stop growing) that I am a bad parent. Means a lot to me coming from some person that I have never met and will never see again and probably has no children. Cate was on the floor playing with the foot measuring thing (if anyone knows how to actually use that device please let me know) while I was waiting in line to pay. An employee squats down and tries talking to her. She looks at me and yells (I am about 6 feet away) "Mommy, I don't talk to strangers so I can't tell him my name!" The line erupts into laughter and my child is staring at me desperately searching for some reassurance that she is not going to be told she is being a bad girl. So me being the fabulous mother that I am tell her that she is right, she doesn't talk to strangers, and she doesn't have to tell him her name. I then kindly ask this man to just leave her be. He proceeds to ask me if she is just shy. I respond by telling him that he heard her response and she is not allowed to talk to strangers and that is why she won't tell you her name nor will she even look at you. He then tells me that I shouldn't worry so much, after all he is just a Shoe Carnival employee. I could give a shit if this guy is Jesus Christ and this is the second coming. I have taught this child not to speak to people she doesn't know and in actuality I am horribly proud of the fact that something I have told her in the last 4 years has managed to stick. Needless to say, I probably won't be frequenting that Shoe Carnival anymore as I am sure that mine and Caitlyn's picture is up with a big red circle around it and a line drawn through it with a caption that says "Do not speak to these people, they are weirdos and don't like to chit chat with Show Carnival employees."

Tomorrow we are off to Toys R Us to return the duplicate princess gifts that we got for the birthday. That is always a trip that I dread and usually ends up in one of us crying as we leave the store....start placing bets now as to who it will be, Caitlyn or mom.

Tomorrow can't come soon enough

So when I leave work tomorrow, I will be off until August 8th. Yes, that's right. I have over a month off of work. It is one of the many perks of working in the educational field. Though I would have rather gotten out when the kids did around June 10th. But I will take what I can get, I am not greedy, and I realize that this stretch of vacation is more than most people see in an entire year. So I won't complain about having my cake and eating it too (cheesecake is now on my mind). Maybe I will grab one of those on the way home, and ditch the child with Auntie Gina for the night and indulge. If that is my plan, then I most definitely need to figure out where to send the husband. As he will really infringe on my indulgences.

So here is a funny thought. On Saturday, I am going to look for bridesmaids dresses with a friend of mine. Know why?? Cause I am going to be a 31 year old bridesmaid in August. Fun? I think not! Want to know what really pisses me off about this whole bridesmaid/wedding bit? I will tell anyway. The girl getting married has 2 children and found out a few weeks ago that she is now pregnant with the third. Now I could care less how many children anyone has. If you are willing to take care of them, have your own baseball team. However, this girl, we'll call her Dawn since that is her name, doesn't take care of the 2 that she already has. And she can carry these babies full term and they come out healthy as can be despite the neglect that she reaks on her body during pregnancy. Me and some of my friends...well we follow the rules and have babies weighing barely more than a pound. Bitter..why yes I am slightly. However, I have tried to convince myself that it happens for a reason. Blah blah blah. Yeah the reason is that Mother Nature has it in for me and likes to taunt me at her every turn.

I must not hit the bride! I must not hit the bride! I figure if I say it enough, I won't do it....will I?????

Adventures with Play Doh

Let me start by saying that Matt has returned home from a trip to Arkansas. So after being a single parent for 3 days, I am ready to hand her over to him upon his re-entry into the house. Of course, this never works out. Of course, I have a mommy's girl. So even though he is home, it is as though I am a single parent. However, today is different. She has missed him something terrible over the last few days, so she wants him to play with her nonstop. As they are sitting in the living room playing, and I sit my ass at the computer (odd as that may sound)I enjoy listening to the conversations that they have with each other.

Someone bought Caitlyn Play Doh for her birthday. Now I do not mind this gift at all, as all of us with preemies know how fabulous it can be for improving sensory issues. So she and Daddy are playing with the dough and making all sorts of animals. Then they begin making finger prints and such. Matt teaches her to make finger prints, elbow prints, foot prints...you get the picture. I then hear Caitlyn telling Matt that he can't do that because it is dangerous. Now, I try to think of what he could have possibly done with play doh that could be considered dangerous. When I ask what the problem is, I am clearly told.

"Daddy made my eye print. And he can't put play doh on my eye because I could get hurt. It is dangerous right Mommy?"

So I then have to tell her that she is correct. Logically speaking, if she gets the stuff in her eye, it could absolutely be dangerous. Chances of that happening, slim to none. Oh but wait a minute, I forgot that this is me that we are talking about. If there is a possiblility of it happening, then it more than likely will.

Moral of the story....do not make eye prints with play doh!

The Birthday Party

Well, birthday party number 4 has come and gone and a grand time was had by the Princess herself. She was so excited about having a birthday party and everyone coming to praise her LOL. Of course it was a Disney Princess Party. Caitlyn got so many wonderful gifts and she loves them all. It was nice to actually get a really good variety of gifts. Not too many toys, not too many clothes. She got a ton of pajamas that can double as dress up clothes, so she loved those. She also got "real makeup" from Stephanie, which has been a huge hit and I have had to clean off wax like purple paint from her face every night...as well as my own.

Stephanie came in from Indiana for the night Saturday to attend the party on Sunday. Naturally she had the babes with her and Collin too. Boy oh boy...I know why she is so tired at the end of her days now...LOL

So the cake was a HUGE success. Yes, I ordered a full sheet. Why you ask? Well, because I am stupid of course. At least that is the only logical explanation that I can come up with at this point in time. See, in my own head, I imagined the size of a full sheet to be what is in reality a half sheet. So needless to say, there was plenty of cake to go around...a couple of times actually. Surprisingly enough, it was all taken away by the time the last guest departed. What they chose to do with it once they arrived home I could care less. But I could not bear to throw any of it out.

So now my child is 4 and I am awe struck with this concept. I can not believe that 4 years have passed since that fateful night at Christ hospital. Though I am thankful that she is here to celebrate this 4th birthday, it is so hard to believe that she was once so ill and fragile. It is funny now how I go into her story less and less with people. Occasionally we get the questions about why she is so skinny, but for the most part, people look at her and see a typical 4 year old. And that it what brings tears to my eyes more than anything. I never would have imagined her to be seen as typical 4 years ago. But here we are and on we go.

Enough of the blah blah blah...here are some pics of the princess's celebration and her humoungous cake!

I am sweet and the bestest

Every now and again, Caitlyn reminds me just how sweet she can be and confirms why I love her so much. After her movie was over tonight, she was complaining in the living room that her skirt was untied. I told her to come on over and I would tie it for her. She then tells me...

"Mommy you're sweet. You're the bestest mommy ever."

And that my friends is what being a mommy is all about...to hear things like that!

Geyser?

We are still on the Shrek kick...she enjoys watching the previews that are on the tape before the movie actually starts. One of them is for a Disney movie, some horse, Spirit something or other. Well as Caitlyn was watching the previews the other day in my bed she points something out to me that I had no idea she knew nor do I have any idea where the hell she learned it from either. She points out an image in which there is water shooting up from the ground and proceeds to tell me that it is a geyser. And in case I wanted to know why it was a geyser, it is because the water is shooting up and not down. Who teaches this child cause it sure as hell is not me teaching her these things.

Happy Birthday to my little love

My little girlie has managed to make it to 4 years old! I am in awe that she is already 4...seems like only yesterday she was so teeny tiny. Downside to today's festivities...she spiked a fever last night and threw up a couple of times :( So this morning it has gone down quite a bit and no puking, so I am thinking that we are on the mend from whatever the hell it was that she had.

Happy birthday Caitlyn! Mommy and Daddy love you more than you could ever know :)

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She is a wise one

As mentioned before, Caitlyn's birthday is quickly approaching. It is hard to believe that this time 4 years ago, Matt and I were in marital bliss awaiting the arrival of our first child....and it was all cut so short. I can not believe that she is going to be 4!!!

This morning as we were getting ready for work and school respectively, she asked me how many more days until her birthday. I told her 7 more days, 1 more week, your birthday is next Tuesday. She proceeds to tell me that she will be 4 years old, as she always does. Then she says to me, "Mommy I will not be 3 ever again." And that's when it hit me...and the blubbering started. My Itty Bitty is NEVER going to be a toddler again! Now, I am an intelligent person. I knew that after turning 4, she will no longer be 3 and will never be 3 again. However, to have it thrown in your face by the very person that you are wishing to keep little is so difficult.

Don't get me wrong...I love her getting older and doing more things and learning everday and just being the amazing little person that she is. But it is so difficult for me to imagine her as that little being that she once was. Not to say that those images will ever be completely erased from my memory, because they never could. But this little girl who fought tooth and nail to survive and who has probably been through more medically than some go through in a lifetime is growing up. And she is doing it so rapidly. Her first year obviously dragged because she seemed to be an infant for so long. But since turning 2, there has been no stopping Caitlyn. SHe is just growing in leaps and bounds that I never would have thought possible. It's kind of like when you finally graduate from high school and realize, oh shit, I have to figure out what the hell I am going to do with the rest of my life :P

Okay, enough of the blubbering from the wishy washy mommy. Despite all of these wonderful things, she is still driving me nuts on a daily basis, she is still pushing all of my buttons, she is still testing just how far she can push me.....and I wouldn't ever have it any other way!

Shrek the "Nogurt"

So we are on a Shrek kick this week. Seems that is all that she wants to be watching these days. I don't mind as it is quite the humorous movie. However, the main character has been given a new name.....

Shrek the Nogurt. Appearently she can't say ogre! So he has become a nogurt...

Now that the birthday is approaching, I am flipping through some old pictures of the girl and am in awe over just how far has she has come. Don't be surprised if you see a few more of these pictures popping up between now and her birthday. Borthdays are always a tough time and at the same time something to revel in.



Caitlyn having her first bottle at 2 months old







Caitlyn about 3 weeks before coming home







Caitlyn's first Halloween

The Little Mermaid

Well, summer has arrived along with the opening of Grandma's pool. Caitlyn is absolutely loving having her own personal swimming pool....yes she thinks it belongs to her despite the fact that it is not in our yard, but in one 3 blocks away. So for the last 3 days she has been in the pool nonstop..with the exception of going to school and sleeping.



Caitlyn is very mucha mommy's girl. If I am not around, she is always asking where I am and when I am coming to get her. However, thanks to this pool, that is changing at a rapid pace. She is swimming at my mom's today at about 4:15. Around the time that I would normally show up to pick her up. However, today, Mom called me and said to leave her there and Tutti would bring her home. I agree to that plan quickly as it gives me the much needed Nancy time that I so deserve. So mom askes Caitlyn, "Shouldn't mommy be here soon? Maybe you should get out and dry off so that she can come and pick you up."



Caitlyn's response..."No. I think Mommy will be here later, not right now. I think she is working longer today."



Now she is my very own personal secretary. I should ask her where I need to be tomorrow so that I am on time!

She just can't take it anymore

More to the pooping saga....

So for the last 2 weeks or so, I have not had to fight with Caitlyn to poop on the potty. It has actually just been happening when she tells me she has to pee, and then suddenly tells me that she pooped too. Well, for the last 3 days, she has actually told me that she has to poop...and then does! Big improvements from needing a suppository because she was with holding for a week at a time. Now we are up to at least every other day!

So tonight, my child ate more in one sitting that she usually does. She told me she wanted breakfast at 7:00pm becuase she didn't eat her breakfast this morning. Well, if you know Cate and her history, I immediately ran to the kitchen and began whipping up an omelet and pancakes (and if you knwo me and my history, this is a rarity). So I made an omelet of one egg and 4 small pancakes. She also wanted fruit, but I told her she could have that after she ate. This child of mine was cramming food into her face like I have never seen before. I actually had to tell her to slow down....words I thought would never exit my lips. When there was only a few bits of omelet and 1/2 a pancake left, I told her if she was full she could stop eating. She said she wasn't full yet....words I thought would never exit Cate's lips. So then she also devoured some fruit.

Needless to say, I figured she was going to explode on me tomorrow. However, as I am sitting at the computer (shocker I know) she comes up to me, legs crossed and says, "I just can't take it anymore." When I ask her what she is talking about, she tells me, "I just can't take it anymore. I have to poop." So I unfasten her pants and tell her to hurry to the potty. As she is seated on the potty, I hear her repeating to herself, "I can't take this poop anymore. I have to poop so bad." Within minutes, there it is. And of course, as all children like to do, she is sure to describe it to me as she stands up. And wouldn't you know it, this one resembled a banana :P

so I think that we have overcome all of our fears of pooping in the potty...thank God in heaven. We are also expanding our horizoms and learning how to use public restrooms.....when did my life turn into this????

Any boob will do

This was one just too good to pass up and not share. So do you think that it is human nature in babies...or just in the male species??

Time to start teaching multiculturalism???

So I think that we have reached the age where we are starting to notice differences in people. I have to have a talk with Caitlyn and I really am not sure how to broach the subject with her. Or if I even need to have the conversation with her.

We were out for dinner tonight, a little mother daughter time since Matt was at a meeting through dinner. We were sitting next to large windows that face a very busy street and the parking lot. An African American man was walking from the parking lot into the restaurant. My child leans over the table and whispers to me..

"Look mommy it's a chocolate man."

I didn't even know how to respond. Should I have had a conversation with her about it right then and there??? I quickly changed the subject and prayed that when the man was seated, he wouldn't be near us so that Caitlyn wouldn't repeat the phrase in front of him.

So I don't think that this is anywhere in the parenting books. Anyone have any words of wisdom for me?

The dreaded "F Word" has reared it's ugly head once again

Yeah, so all of those sweet little things that I wrote about my daughter the other day...not so much anymore :P

As she is playing with her ball in the living room today, bouncing it off the TV and catching it (yes we have some very enforced rules in this house). I am listening to her talk to herself, actually to her pretend big sister Lena (don't ask me). She is telling Lena to throw the ball this way, don't throw the ball that way, you know, just being her normal bossy self. When suddenly I hear the ball it the TV and out comes....

"This fucking TV." Over and over and over and over. What did I do you ask? Well, I ran to the basement and told Matt that he absolutely must hear his child. By the time we got into the dining room, she had ceased dropping the F Bombs.

Me thinks that we need to have the nice words ugly words conversation again!

A Different Twist

So I am always posting about something that Caitlyn says that makes me laugh or embarrasses me or angers me to the point of no return. I thought today that I would post some of the things that she always says on a regular basis...they have almost become those little something specials between her and I. All of these things that she says to me are things that must make my heart melt knowing that she doesn't say them to anyone but me.

1. After bath time, I hold Caitlyn up and look in the mirror with her. I ask, "Who is my clean baby?" Her reply, "Caitlyn Mackenzie Walsh." Before she could speak, she would point to herself and I would say her name, before she could point to herself, I would say her same and kiss her. After bath time now, if this step is missed...unhappy child.

2. When Caitlyn is sick I tell her that she needs to take medicine to get better. I have also always told her that mommies love makes kids feel better too. Now when she is sick, she will tell me that she will take her medicine and my love will make her all better.

3. Caitlyn is my Snuggle Bunnie. I once tried to use the phrase "veg out" with Cate before...she wouldn't have any of that despite my numberous attempts to explain it to her. So by telling her that we are Snuggle Bunnies, this she could associate with...who wouldn't want to be a cute little furry animal rather than broccoli or peas?? Now when she wants to cuddle with me, she tells me, "Mommy come and be a Snuggle Bunnie on the couch with me."

4. There is one thing that Caitlyn says to me that absolutely makes my heart melt. Ever since she was a baby I have told her that she was my miracle. Now that she can talk, I say "You are my..." and she finishes the sentence by saying "Miracle." Every once in a while she will then tell me that I am also her miracle.

5. And of course, the words that every mother loves to hear. When Caitlyn looks at me and tells me, of her own accord, "I love you Mommy." What words could be better coming from a little girl to her mommy.

She rolls her eyes now

You know, I love my child, I really do. But why in the hell does she have to be just like me??? This will be short and sweet as she hasn't said anything, it is a mere gesture. I ask her to pick up her toys and she looks towards the ceiling and huffs. I think I now why children are spanked now. Nothing more needs to be said about this act of hers except that I can't believe my 3 year old (4 in 22 days) now rolls her eyes at me. Calgon take me away....from this child!!!