The Birthday Party

Today Caitlyn went to a birthday party. Nothing unusual about that really. However, I didn't stay there with her. It was the first time that I have done that. The opportunity has arisen in the past, but I have never taken advantage of it. But this time, I decided to bite the bullet and let it happen. We've had moms drop their kids off at her parties in the past, and I would think how strange that was. To just leave your kid there, and then come back a couple of hours later to get them again.

But when I talked to the mom when I RSVP'd, she had assured me that Cate would be fine there. That she had a fenced in yard and she had a large basement that the kids would be in if they weren't outside. She also mentioned that there were going to be a lot of adults there from her family. So it was almost as if she was telling me to not come along with Caitlyn.

When I told Cate that I wasn't going to be there with her, I expected a different response than I got. She promptly simply said...."Okay Mommy." I was baffled. This child that I call my cling on, could have cared less that I wasn't going to be there with her.

I guess I should be ecstatic about that. Right? Well, it makes me a little sad to be perfectly honest. Just demonstrates to me once again that she is getting older. Not like I'm thinking she doesn't need me or anything anymore. But it's just one more step of her pulling away from me and doing things on her own.

Matt had to pick her up because I was out doing some things with Mom. And she was happy as could be when I got home. Telling me about all the wonderful things she did. Oh, and she fell down the basement stairs. She just kind of threw that in there mid sentence. See, had I been there, that wouldn't have happened! But she was quick to tell me that she didn't cry and it hardly hurt as she only fell on her butt.

Later when I was giving her a bath, I immediately started thinking about all of the things that could have happened to her because I wasn't there. Things like an overly touch unlce, or a not so nice to play with cousin. All horrific things to me. I figured I couldn't come right out and ask her if anyone was "overly nice" to her or mean for that matter either. So I tried to beat around the bush. And all of her answers were perfectly acceptable. Which put my mind at ease.

So I guess this is the start of a new trend with the girlie. I would imagine that after a few parties I will start to look forward to the time by myself. Right??? Right????




.......and as a side note, I only drove by that silly party once to check on her in the backyard and she was having a ball. Despite not wearing her jacket like I told her to.

I Forgot

Silly me! In all the excitement about posting about my new job, I completely forgot to post pics and tell you about the girl's Easter. This year, for some reason, I didn't take pics of her coloring eggs. Not sure why I didn't, but I think it's because she was so into coloring the eggs with me, that I was completely engaged in the activity with her and never even thought about anything else. Or I am just a bad mom for not thinking about it. But I certainly do like the first explanation better.

Caitlyn loved loved loved coloring the eggs this year. She was all creative as far as what colors she was going to use and how she was going to mix the colors and precisely what color should be put on the egg first. She colored a total of 18. Normally, there aren't that many, but this year there were no casualties in the boiling process. So she got all of them, and no complaints from her about that.

When we were done coloring eggs, she decided that she wanted to write the Easter Bunny a letter. Which went a like this:
Hepe Estr
Luve Caitlyn

Nothing better than inventive spelling! If you need translating: Happy Easter Love Caitlyn. But it looks pretty much like it sounds I suppose.

Easter morning, Caitlyn woke up to a basket filled with goodies and ann empty egg carton. It didn't take her long to find all of the eggs. She had some trouble with a few of the more difficult ones, but she was able to find them all on her own. I am thinking that it's going to get increasinglly difficult to find new places to hide these eggs. We may have to expand to more rooms that just the living room and dining room.

For the next 4 hours or so, Caitlyn hung out watching TV and eating far too much candy and chocolate. But hey, that's what holidays are all about I suppose. She got to eat the goods and chill out while I cooked and finished up the cleaning. Once that was all done, it was bath time. And then she was FINALLY able to get into her dress. Which I do think that she asked me every 7 minutes if she could get dressed. From the time that she woke up until the time that I actually got her dressed.

And here is the end result:


You see, everything is a super model pose these days. She can't just stand there nicely for me to take a picture. She has to pose for it. Very often I have to tell her to just leave her hands at her side and let me take the damn picture. But she insisted on modeling the dress for me. And nothing I said could convince her otherwise.

I Got It!!

Stunned. This is what I am. I got the call from the assistant superintendent yesterday evening that I was the team's number one choice of the interviewees! How's that for spanking my ego ;) He said he just needed to call and check my references and that he would get back to me today to officially offer me the position.

Did I talk to him today? Well of course I didn't. I was helping Tutti clear up some bullshit at work that she is encountering. So my phone was on vibrate, and I had no idea that he called. So I called to leave a message to call me again tomorrow. Hopefully it doesn't make me sound like too much of a fool.

The one thing that needs to be squared away is how many years of experience they will give me. They are able to give up to 8, I have 10. However, none of my positions have been in "certified" positions. Basically what that means is that my certificate has been in an "exempt" status for the last 10 years. Current, but inactive. Which technically really isn't the case, but on paper that's what it looks like. So I am not sure how much negotiating on salary I am going to be able to do. Even if they can't give me the full 8 years, I would like something. Cause 10 years is a lot to just toss out the window.

In other news, Caitlyn is celebrating her "fake birthday" tomorrow at school. Because her birthday falls in the summer, she won't be in school for it. So like last year, the teacher puts on a little production for them so that the kid can experience what the other kids whose birthdays occur during the school year experience. Which is wonderful....unless you're a mom like me who completely forgets that this will be happening tomorrow. And you haven't purchased any cupcakes or anything for the kid to distribute. But fear not, Tutti ran right out and purchased 30 mini cupcakes for the girl. So all is right in her world now. And she has forgiven my ignorance ;)

It's gone!

So the antibiotic coupled with the inhaler has done the trick. The girlie is feeling much much better. And she is coughing so infrequently now, back to normalcy and niceness :)

Danny has made his way home and is on the road to recovery. Amazing how quickly kids can bounce back from major surgery isn't it?

My second interview is scheduled for this coming Monday at 1:30. I believe that there are 2 other people interviewing for the same position. At least that's what it seems since the girl who called said that she has 2 other people to schedule on that day. Or there are more and they have scheduled them on another day. Or I am just thinking way to much into it and I shouldn't worry about how many other people are interviewing?

It has been decided that Easter dinner will be at my house this year. Typically it is at Mary's house (Danny's mom). However, due to the recent events of surgery and Jack developing pink eye, it would seem to be the wisest option to just have it here. Which is kind of nice. Then we don't have to worry about leaving the house at all. So that's nice. The downside, I need to clean the hell out of my house. It really is quite the scary sight. And I do believe that the dust bunnies are rallying to overthrow me.

The 6 hour ER Stint

It would appear that the cough I thought would just go away, isn't. Last night around 6ish, Caitlyn started with her uncontrollable hacking again. Which of courses prompted vomitting, always fun. I tried calling her doctor to see what we shoudl do, and his phone was busy...for over 30 minutes! I am thinking that there was something really wrong with his phone line? So I told Matt that we were just going to Lutheran General and calling it a night. Caitlyn's doc is not out of that hospital, but they do have a pediatric emergency room, which is why I go there instead. Not to mention the fact that her doc is out of Christ, which would mean going 45 minutes away to the ER....seems silly to me.

They did get us in right away, which I was thankful for. But of course, in true Caitlyn fashion, she didn't cough a bit for the first hour that we were there. And why would she really? There is nothing near as fun as making your parents look like complete fools in front of medical experts.

The first person to see her was a student. He couldn't hear anything strange going on in her lungs, and figured she was just beginning the flu. Then the "real" doc came in the follow up his exam. Hmmm...different story from him altogether. Seems he could hear the wheezing and also noted that she had some coarse sounds on the right side, more than likely beginning stages of pneumonia. So we headed down for a chest xray. Which Caitlyn thoroughly loved. And the fact that the techncian let her see the images was certainly an added bonus.

Once back in the room, she was given a neb treatment. Through our rose colored glasses we were fairly certain this was going to be the cure all. Not so much. It helped. For all of about 7.2 minutes. Then began the extreme hacking again. Shortly after, they decided another neb treatment would certainly do the trick. But see, they don't know how my kid loves to skew the odds.

The second one seemed to be going along nicely. Well, that's until she decided to throw up from the either the taste of it of the plastic in her mouth. Not sure. Either way, she now how vomit ladden clothes and was still coughing. This spurred some interest from the doctors though :P After cleaning her up, we finished the treatment and were told we needed to hang around some so they could watch her.

An hour later, the doc comes back in and says that he is prescribing an antibiotic because he is worried about the coarse sounds on the right side turning into pneumonia. He also prescribed some more albuterol. Which I won't be filling, as I just refilled one for her since her last canister expired.

She sounds the same this morning, hopefully the abx will kick the hell out of whatever is going on. If not, she may just cough for the rest of her life. She is terribly sad not to be at school today though, as it was supposed to be her fake birthday celebration. Since she isn't in school for her actual birthday, they do a fake one for the summer kids. I have reassured her that she will have her fake birthday after spring break though and she seems ok about that...only slightly pissed off I guess.

I must mention though, a funny that occurred in the hospital. Typically, doctors seem to talk to moms like they have a significantly lower IQ than the rest of the walking upright world. This doc however, whom I adored, spoke to Matt as though he were certainly learning disabled. At first I thought it was a fluke, but everytime the man spoke to Matt, he looked at him like Matt could barely understand the English language. And it wasn't just me noticing it, Matt asked me as well if it was just his imagination that this was happening. I reassured him that it was not! So now when I talk to Matt about Caitlyn, I am making sure to speak in slow sentences with easy to understand words so as not to confuse him ;]

Danny Boy

Caitlyn's cousin Danny has Biliary Atresia He was diagosed with it when he was about 8 weeks old. I would go into the entire story of it, but I would do it no justice. Suffice it to say, danny can get sick very quickly. Luckily, with lots of prayers he has managed to do outstanding for the past almost 7 years. Up until this weekend. His mom took him to the emergency room because he had been throwing up quite a bit. To make a long story short, it turns out he had a bowel obstruction. Which I know now is not uncommon in children with this condition.

Danny ended up having to have surgery the other day and is since doing much better. Caitlyn on the other hand is beside herself that he most favorite cousin on the planet is in the hospital. To make matters worse, she can't go see him. She is just too sick to be around a kid who is sicker. So I told her what she needed to do was say lots of prayers that Danny gets better soon.

I have never asked Caitlyn to pray for anyone, or anything. And I never thought that I had to explain to her how to do it. I just figured she would know how I guess. Well it would appear that she doesn't quite understand the process based on the barrage of questions I got regarding the topic. To name my favorite questions:

1. How can God hear me when heaven is so far away?
2. Is God watching over Danny in the hospital?
3. Did Grandma rita pray for me when I was in the hospital?

After some lengthy explanations regarding prayer, explanations that a 5 year old can understand, she assured me that she was in fact praying long and hard for him. When I found out that Danny is getting better and stronger, I let her know that her prayers must be working.

Now that we have the prayer business out of the way, I just wish there was a way to control the sudden outbursts of crying that occur. She is so worried about him, and no matter what I tell her, I don't think her fears are going to be put to rest until she sees him at home and comfortable....I guess that's the case for all of us though.

Inhaler or Over the Counter Meds??

The girl is doing well. She seems to be battling a cough right now. I am always so torn as to whether I should go with the over the counter cough medicine or start with the inhaler. I try to "treat" and be invasive as little as I possibly can. So for the first couple of days of the cough, I usually stay away from it. Hoping that it will just go away on it's own. It's when it starts interferring with the sleep that I have a tendency to intervene. Cause interferrance with Cate's sleep equates the same for me. And we all know that I am not a big fan of that.

Either way, I started with the inhaler for a couple of days in the hopes that maybe it was just seasonal. After 2 days of the thing not leaving and the inhaler not helping so much, we moved to the night time, make me sleepy, cough medicine. And now that is seeming to help. So let's just hope that it isn't a recurrence of the crap that she had last month.

Her cough seems to be getting a little wet now, not so much the dry barky cough that she had. So whatever is in there is loosening up. I just wish now that she would learn to spit the crap out versus swallowing it back down. But that is a skill that must be learned it appears.

The interview went very well. At least I think it did, I guess the guy interviewing me could have a completely different perspective on it huh? I did find out though at the very beginning of the interview, that it isn't a position like I currently hold. Rather it is more of a supervisory position. Very strange to me, but what the hell, I'm game! I'll give it a go if offered the opportunity.

The person also informed me that having the references that I did have, carry a lot of weight. Which I kind of knew, which is why I asked one person in particular for a letter of recommendation. Having her speak highly of you means a lot to prospective employers. So I was very grateful that she was willing to write a letter for me.

I was assured that I have made it to the next round of interviews. Rounds? Didn't know there were rounds, but I guess I am glad that I have made it to the next of the said rounds. Would have been much nicer if I had been offered the job right there on the spot right? But I will take what I can get. So another week or so of my being horribly nervous!

Tomorrow is the day

First off...I am officially on spring break....woooohoooo! Technically, it is supposed to start tomorrow, but I took a personal day. The nice thing is, Caitlyn and Matt aren't off next week, so I get the house to myself. ALL.DAY!! Sweet :)

My interview is tomorrow at 2:30. I am really nervous about this one for some reason. But I am thinking that I will be fine once I am in there and not having to dwell over what they will be asking me or anything like that.

Fingers crossed it goes well!

I am getting used to the hair. It's hard, but I am coping. I am fairly certain that in a few weeks, it will seem like it has always been like this. Until then though.....

The New Hair

I went to get my haircut today. I also got it relaxed. There is nothing relaxed about it....it is straight! Which is so strange to me, having had wild curly hair my entire life. the bangs are also gone. GONE!!! they blend in with the rest of my hair now. Which is even stranger than the straightness as far as I am concerned. I have also noticed that I have a very large forehead. Not sure if I really thought this whole change of hair thing all the way through really. Or if I just need to get used to the bigness of my head. My family likes it. But can they really say that they don't? I mean, aren't they supposed to say it's nice no matter what it looks like??

Here's the conversation that took place with Caitlyn upon my arrival home from the salon:

C: You look like a whole new Mommy!
N: Do you like it baby?
C: It looks very nice Mommy.

.......several hours later as we are sitting at home:

C: I might get confused Mommy.
N: Confused about what?
C: Cause I am used to you with curly hair and bangs.
N: Well I'm still Mommy just with different hair.
C: (crying now) But I like my old Mommy.

Yeah....I feel much better about the hair after that damn exchange!

Visitors

My cousin and her husband along with her 2 children were in over the weekend from Alabama. We haven't seen them in about 2 years so it was wonderful seeing them. Caitlyn loved playing with her cousins and we all hung out for a few hours befor they had to head out again.

Caitlyn asked me later why Stephanie "talks like a cowgirl." LOL Even after I tried to explain to her that it's because of where she lives, it still wasn't making sense to her. But she did tell me that she wanted to be able to talk like that as well. So I am almost certain that within the next few days she will suddenly develop a southern accent.

She is getting a cough again, which irritates me to no end. Hopefully though it is just the change in the weather and some seasons allergies. I am going to give her some of her inhaler for the next few days and see if that helps. I am thinking it's related to the weather because there are no other symptoms at all. Fingers crossed the inhaler does the trick and we aren't heading back to a cold like the one that she had a few weeks ago.

Matt took me shopping yesterday for a new suit for my interview. He was so wonderfully patient with me the entire time. I was really preparing myself for a battle before the trip was over, but that didn't happen. He was actually helpful by looking for the right size for me and picking out ones that he thought I would like. To say the least, he shocked me with his patience. He even helped me pick out shoes! Stunning!

Only 3 more days of work until Spring Break!!!

A very long overdue update

So there has been much going on here in the land of the Walshes. The reason for the recent hiatus from the blog has been more personal than anything. Matt and I have been doing some "housekeeping" so to speak. And in order to focus on that entirely, I had to forego the computer. And now that we are done cleaning up our house and things are starting to get back to normal, I think I am ready to begin telling the tales of my girlie again. Of which there are many as usual.

For starters, we have lost another tooth. And the tooth fairy came to visit again, leaving another $5.00. It's the tooth right next to the one that was lost first. So she is now missing her front 2 bottom teeth. And it is funny to hear her pronounce certain words, cause her tongue slides through the gap now. It's funny, you never really think about how much your tongue really does when you pronounce certain words. So when she is trying to sound out words when she is reading, they don't always sound right :P I am sure once she gets used to it, she will compensate for it. At least I hope she will.

She is still loving ballet and is now saying that she wants to be a ballerina when she grows up :) Her recital is the first weekend in June and we got to see the costumes that they are wearing....OH.MY.GOD are they adorable!!! Little pink fitted bodice and full tutu! Expect loads of pics for that!

Some interesting news for me, I filled out an application online on a complete whim. I really only did it because they weren't asking for a resume to be submitted at the time of applying, so I figured what the hell? Well, 16 minutes after I hit the submit button, the assistant superintendant was emailing me asking me to come in for an interview 2 days later! I couldn't do that since I was doing a training that day, but we were able to schedule it for the 23rd! And I am starting to think that it was a blessing in disguise, because there are huge changes happening at my co-op right now. So, hopefully this will work out for me!

Matt is in his master's program and it is in full swing now. It monopolizes a lot of his time, but he is hanging in there and doing well. I haven't had to "help" him out too much, which is good for me. I do worry though about what will happen during football season. He is always so crunched for time anyway during football, and I worry that he will end up falling behind in the classes. But I think he is determined enough to do well and finish the program, so he will certainly be giving it his all.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming now, and hopefully no more month long wait for updates :)

The BIG Question

It happened today. And it stopped me in my tracks. Here's the scene:

C=Caitlyn, M=Mommy

Caitlyn on the floor coloring a picture for her teacher.
C: Mommy, 2 T's mean you're pregnant right?

M: (Very confused) What do you mean Cate?

C: (obviously frustrated with my ignorance) Mom, when there are 2 T's on the scale it means you're pregnant! Right?

M: Who taught you that?

C: You did Mommy.

M: No Cate, I didn't. When do you think I told you that?

C: You told me Mommy, remember?

M: I really don't remember ever telling you that Cate. A scale tells you how much you weigh, not if you're pregnant or not.

C: You told me that 2 T's on the scale is how you get pregnant mom.

(Mom....very frightened with the conversation that I see coming my way)

M: No hunny, you don't get pregnant that way. (The second I said it, I knew the question was coming and I wanted to kick myself right in my big ass for saying it.)

C: Then how do you get pregnant Mommy?

M: That is a conversation that we will have when you are in the bathtub tonight. (This way I could think of a good explanation that I think she will understand.)

Caitlyn knows that she was in my belly before she was born. She knows that they had to cut Mom's bell because I got sick and they had to get her out. She knows that she was very sick as an infant and had to stay in the hospital. She knows that Mommy can get sick again if she has another baby in there.

Up to this point, when Caitlyn has questioned how she got into my belly to begin with, I have always told her that od put her there. That she was a miracle and a gift from God to me and Daddy because he knew that we wanted a baby. So he decided to give her to us.

I'm not so sure that she is buying this explanation anymore. I am thinking that she wants more. How much more is the question? I am mulling it over and when she is in the tub tonight (in about 15 minutes) we will be discussing it. God help me!

I am thinking that she is talking to dear Kelly a bit too much about things that just aren't appropriate for a 5 and 10 year old to be talking about. She told me today that Kelly told her that as a baby she was dying. So Cate wanted to know why she was dying when she was only a baby. I had to assure her that she wasn't dying, that she was just very sick. Which she already knew, but Kelly went ahead and threw in the word dying which makes it that much more scary to Caitlyn. I may need to have a chat with my mom and with Kelly about what they are discussing when they are together.

Can't wait to see how this one pans out!

Rambling

Caitlyn seems to be feeling better this morning. She went back to school yesterday and she is there today so I am thinking that it was a short lived cold. Fingers crossed! She doesn't have school tomorrow so she will be able to sleep in, provided she gets to have a sleep over at my mom's. That's one of the added benefits of living only 3 blocks from your mother ;) It is wonderful when she can spend the night there and I can get up and only worry about getting myself ready for work. You completely take that for granted before you have children. Then when they come along and you find yourself rushing like a maniac every single morning, you realize just how wonderful it was to only have to worry about making sure you were ready in the morning!

Wow that was a tangent....so she is feeling better and I am hoping that the cough is not on it's way. I get so scared whenever this child gets a cough. I am convinced that she is going to end up in the hospital needing assistance for breathing! Not that it has ever happened, and we have only ever been to the emergency room once for breathing since she has been home from the NICU. But the second this child starts coughing, I imagine vents and tubes and blah blah blah. Matt thinks I am crazy, I don't think so, I think he is too lax....whatever. So hopefully there will be no cough since one hasn't started yet!

So 2 weeks ago at ballet, there was a lady there taking measurements for the girls' costumes that they will be wearing for the recital in June. Because Caitlyn has always been so skinny, I wanted to chat with her about the size charts that they provided for us to choose from. Technically, Caitlyn's waist is about a size 3 or 4. However, he length is a size 6 at least! Not too easy to buy clothes for. So I asked the woman and she said that she was certain bassed on Caitlyn's measurements that she would fit in a size 4-6. So we will see. I am hoping that I don't have to have it altered before the show.

There was a grandmother sitting on the bench next to me when I was talking to the measuring lady about Cate's measurements. After the measuring lady left (yes measuring lady is a technical term), the grandmother leans over to me and we have the strangest conversation that I have ever had with another parent! (we'll call her G for Grandmother)

G: My granddaughter is smaller than your daughter??
She says this with such disbelief in her voice that I was really quite shocked by it. Only because she made it seem as though Caitlyn was abnormally small...which she is not.

N: (looking at her sheet with the numbers written on it) It seems that way.
It is then that I realize that I don't want any part of this conversation....I can see where it's going and size conversations with people who have no idea about Caitlyn's history are just not worth my time anymore.

G: Well my granddaughter doesn't look smaller than your daughter. Your daughter looks much skinnier than her.

N: (somewhat of a giggle as to indicate that she is acting like an ass) Caitlyn is skinny, but she is tall. It has always been that way. I am sure that your granddaughter will fit nicely into the costume.

G: How old is your daughter? Cause my granddaughter is 4, almost 5, so I don't think she should be smaller.

N: My daughter is 5, almost 6, so I am pretty sure that it's ok for your granddaughter to be smaller than a child who is over a year older than her. And really, my daughter started out her life very tiny at only 18 ounces, so considering that starting point, I think she is doing pretty well in the size department.

It was at that point that I got up from the bench and walked away. The grandmother has not been back. I don't know who the little girl's mother is as I sit there and actually enjoy reading a book for leisure while I am there as opposed to chatting it up with the other mothers. But I do hope that I offended that woman a fraction of how much she offended me. I was very confused as to why she was so upset that her granddaughter, at over a year younger, was smaller than Cate. I mean, she should be smaller right? I think I was more upset by the fact that this woman must have thought that Caitlyn looked ridiculously skinny in her leotard. Which pisses me off even more! Cause frankly, the kid looks damn cute in the thing :P

You can look at Caitlyn and think that she is quite slim. But I don't look at her anymore as though she is underweight. I used to, but I haven't for quite some time now. She is on the charts, well near the 40th percentile now, so she can't look too different from her peers I suppose. And for height, she is way above that on the chart. So I don't think that people could look at Caitlyn anymore and wonder why she is so thin like they used to.

Either way, the woman was a complete asshole if you ask me. And hopefully she will not be returning to take her granddaughter to ballet. Even more so, if she does return, I do hope that she doesn't want to have a conversation with me about anything. Cause I certainly have no intentions of being polite to her.

Will get some pictures of the girl in the leotard soon. Here is one of my new faves of my girlie



We are going to see Dinsey on Ice Princess Wishes tomorrow. The girl is way excited about that. And I am way excited to go and take pictures with my fancy new camera. It is amazing the features that you get in a camera when you spend a little more (or a lot more) money on it! The software that it comes with is so easy to use! And it has some really fun features for photo editing. So I am excited about it to say the least. I am trying to teach Caitlyn how to take pictures with it as well. Not sure if that's a good plan or a bad one yet!

Sick Sick Sick

Poor girl :( She is so stuffy and runny. I don't understand how one so small can produce so much snot? It truly must be one of the great mysteries of the world. Perhaps up there with the 7 wonders, no?

I saw it coming on Sunday. I crossed my fingers and hoped for the best. No such luck. We are home from school today because of it. Normally that would be a splendid thing. However, I have such a busy week this week and now I have to cram it all into only 3 more days. I tried doing some of the work from home today, but there is only so much that can get done with a 5 year old constantly asking for juice, or something to eat, or for me to change the channel on the television. I am trying to get her to "rest" on the couch...no such luck. I could tie her down I suppose to keep her there, but I hear that the authorities frown upon that?

Part of the reason that I want her better quick is becaue we are going to see Disney on Ice Princess Wishes this Friday. Naturally I pay out of my ass for these tickets for the better seats. So I don't want her to miss it (nor do I want to lose the money). Though I suppose if I had to, I could get close to the same amount for them that I paid if I sold them on eBay? But I am fairly certain that she will be better by then. So send as many get well vibes to the land of the Walshes if you would please ;)

Go Bears!

Onward we go to the Superbowl in a few weeks!!

Caitlyn left her tooth in the pocket of her "Tooth Fairy Pillow" and is now the proud owner of a crisp 5 dollar bill :) She wants me to take her to the Disney Store so that she can buy a new toy. Normally, she puts her money in her bank, but I figure that she can spend this and future tooth fairy money on herself. So this week we will be heading to the Disney Store so she can spend her new found fortune. Can you even buy anything in there for under $5??? I am sure this will end up costing me more money in the long run.

Matt had the opportunity to go to the Bears game today with access to the Cadillac Club at the stadium. However, he turned them down. Nuts you say? well so do I. But he had his sports banquet this morning and didn't want to not be there for his players. Dedication is the only word that comes to my mind. The banquet was wonderful and we all had a good time. Hopefully he won't be too remorseful in the morning.

It Finally Fell Out!!

Well, I guess fell isn't really the right word...since Daddy pulled it out. But it was ready and hanging on by one of those little gummy threads (eww I know). Caitlyn wasn't too scared when Matt was going to pull it. I had reassured her that it wouldn't hurt and she probably wouldn't even feel it. I had to let her know that there was going to be a little blood, cause she gets freaked out about blood. I guess I don't see a medical profession in her future huh??

Matt gave it one little tug, and out it came. There was MINIMAL bleeding, thank God, and no tears what so ever. Once it was out, she didn't even realize that Matt had pulled it out ;) She is so psyched!

We had to clear up a couple misconceptions though. She was under the impression that she would be able to see the new tooth immediately. I told her that it wasn't underneath it just yet. To which she promptly replied that the Tooth Fairy would just "zap" one in there with her wand tonight when she makes her visit. Ummm, no. So we had to have a discussion about a new tooth needing to grow in there. She is a little bummed about that. But as soon as she sees the new one coming in I am sure she will be able to understand it a little better.

Here are some pics of the new gap in the pretty smile of hers:

Musings of a little girl

Several funnies that have come out of her mouth in the past week:

On making cotton candy
C: Mom how do they make cotton candy?
N: with lots and lots of sugar.
C: I think they use cat fur and add sugar and water. And it tastes so good that you don't even know it's cat fur.

(yuck!)

On Fathers
N: (to Caitlyn while hugging her) I am so glad that God gave you to me for a daughter.
C: (hugging me) I am so glad God gave me you as my mother.

.....pause as she thinks for a moment.

C: I am so glad that God gave me Daddy as my father.

.....pause to think again.

C: (pulling away from me and putting her hand by her mouth as though she is trying to whisper) You know Mom, God is really everyone's Father though right?

Switching things up a bit

So I upgraded my account...pretty much because they tell you to. So I figured I would get a new template as well. Well now, all of the fun little things that I had added are gone. But see, I anticipated that. So I quickly copied and pasted all of the html into a word document first. Sounds brilliant right??? Yeah well I thought so too. Until I discovered that this fancy new version of Blogger no longer requires html to add all those fun little things I had. So now I have to figure out where in the hell to add them with this new version. All the fun is mine. If it can't be located easily, well then let's just say that there will be nothing added ;)

I am not thoroughly convinced that this is the template that I am going to stick with either. So don't be surprised if in the next few days it changes about 400 times. So I guess it's a good thing that I can't figure out how to change anything cause if I change or add a link I will probably change templates and lose the damn thing again. It all balances out I suppose.

The silly tooth of Caitlyn's still hasn't fallen out. It's been over a week now. And she won't wiggle it, with her finger or her tongue. She says it feels funny. Love those sensory issues huh? But she will let me wiggle it, and it is getting looser...slowly but surely. By the time this stupid tooth falls out, there will be another one right behind it ready to come out as well.

Ballet

Caitlyn started ballet today at the park district. And she absolutely loved it! The best part of the entire thing was that she got to wear her leotard and tights and ballet slippers. After all, isn't that what really matters when you are participating in any sport???

She wishes I was an octopus

I was cutting Caitlyn's dinner this evening. And in true Caitlyn fashion, she was asking me to take her sweater off while I was cutting. After telling her that she needed to just wait until I was done with what I was doing she leaves the room. That's when I hear:

"I wish you were an octopus. Then you could take my sweater off and cut my food at the same time."

As opposed to her taking the stpid sweater off by herself???

A loose tooth

It's official! The days of toddlerdom are gone now. Caitlyn has her first loose tooth. It's one of the bottom ones. Surprisingly enough, it's actually her very first tooth that came in as an infant. Since the day that Cate has turned 5, she has been asking me when her teeth are going to start falling out. So needless to say, she is very excited. Although, I do think that I am tad bit more excited than she is ;)

She had a sleepover at Grama Rita's last night and when she was brushing her teeth this morning she told Grama that her tooth was hurting her. Lo and behold, Grama wiggled it...and it is really wiggling in there. I think it's hysterical that she didn't even realize it and had to be told that she had a loose tooth.

So now my biggest fear is that it will fall out at school and get lost or she will end up swallowing it, or some other tragedy to ruin the perfect goodness of it all. So I am thinking that in about 2 days I will make her eat an apple to help things along :)

Some Christmas Pics

Just realized that I didn't post any of these, so I will take care of that now. The girl had a fantabulous Christmas...receiving an obscene amount of new toys. She got a few boardgames that she absolutely loves (and mom doesn't mind playing so much either :P), she got her Barbie guitar which was a huge hit, the moonsand came, which she promptly said looks much easier to use on tv than it really is, along with a slew of other toys that I am certain will be forgotten in a month's time.









And finally, the Christmas dress. She looked like such a little angel in it this year. It's hard to believe just how grown up she is looking these days. Long gone are the baby pudgy cheeks and such :(

Matt's Christmas Present to Himself

Last night while Caitlyn was at Grandma Rita's, Matt and I headed over to Jade Dragon Tattoo to get this little goodie. It is something that we had been thinking about doing for a year or so. And the other day Matt finally decided that it was time.

It is an exact replica of her footprints that were taken when she was about 2 weeks old. Everyone in the place was in awe that her feet were so tiny. We had people coming up to us and asking us if we really had a 1 pound baby, I guess it is a little shocking if you have never come across such a teeny one :P

Caitlyn is absolutely thrilled with it. She keeps asking Matt if she can look at it and she just stares and stares. Both Matt and I are very pleased with how it came out. So pleased that he is already talking about getting another one :S

Merry Christmas to you

Merry Christmas to my girlie and my husband! It has been a wonderful morning and I am sure the day is only going to get better. Caitlyn is so very excited this year and it is such an awesome thing to watch! Christmas is now meaning something so very different to me than it ever has before as I watch her excitement.

I hope that everyone has a fantastic day celebrating their own miracles today.

The Winter Assembly

Caitlyn had her winter assembly on Tuesday. Her class sang "Must Be Santa" and I must say that despite all of the words in the song, they really did a fantastic job.

Caitlyn wore the cutest little jumper (that I snagged at Kohl's at quite the discount). I think she was more excited to wear the dress than she was about singing on stage. The teacher also had santa hats for all of the kids.

We have also finally signed up for ballet. Which the girl is wayyyyy psyched about. She prances around the house on a daily basis telling me that she is practicing for dance class. She has also made it a point to tell anyone and everyone who will listen that she is starting dance class in January. In June, they have a recital, which I can't wait for ;)

Here are some pictures from the assembly....Christmas pictures to follow after the holiday.

Before we left the house


In line to go on stage


Singing "ho ho ho" with her arms out as Santa's belly (can you even find her in the middle there??? I really need a camera with a better zoom)

Zoo Lights

The weather here has been unseasonably warm again. So this past weekend we took advantage of it and headed off to Brookfield Zoo on Saturday. Every year, they decorate the entire zoo with tons and tons of Christmas lights. Of course, it was terribly crowded, because everyone in the city and surrounding suburbs had the exact same idea as us. But a fantastic time was had by all.

On the lion at the entrance (don't all kids who live in Chicago have a pic of themsselves on this lion???)


In the belly of a kangaroo


The giant ornament


And of course they had tons of "creatures" to take pictures with


On the buffalo


Even Uncle Bobby wanted to get on the buffalo (yeah, he's an adult?)

Deck the Halls

Caitlyn is singing Christmas songs like mad these days. Yesterday she was singing Deck the Halls. It went a little something like this...

"Deck the hall with balls on journey."

I will never hear that song without thinking of the incorrect words again.

Learning to Read

Caitlyn is learning to read this year in kindergarten. And I have to say, it really is an amazing process to watch unfold! Before she started school this year, she was able to read and spell a few words. But now she is really making the connection between letters and sounds. Everytime she says a word or gets a pencil in her hand, she is trying to sound out words and spell them on her own. And it's even more amazing when we are out and about and she sees a word thst she knows and she gets all excited cause she can read it. So everywhere we go now, she is looking for words that she can read.

Here's an example...I put on a shirt yesterday that said "let it snow." And when she was standing in front of me, she yells out "IT!!!" All excited and proud of herself cause she read what was on my shirt.

In school, they are allowed to sign up to bring in a book and read it to the class. Naturally, being who she is, Cate had to be the first to sign up. SO she brought in one of her phonics, I can read, books. And sheh most certainly did stand up there and read the entire thing to the class! Now she is on the hunt every night for a book that she can take to school and read to her friends.

Painting the Town

Caitlyn is so very excited about Christmas this year. And not just the getting gifts part, she is truly excited for all of the decorations and the parties, and basically everything that encompasses Christmas. Yesterday we were driving to the store and from the back seat I hear "Oh my God!" in this squealy sounding voice. She tried telling me something and I couldn't even understand what in the world she was saying through all the giddiness in her voice. Finally I told her to slow down and tell me what she was so psyched over.

"Mommy they are even decorating the town for Christmas!"

With the largest cheesy ass grin I have ever seen in my life, she was in awe of the lights that were on the trees and lamp posts on the busy street! Now mind you, we were right outside the mall, and they always decorate those for the holidays. However, when we pulled away from the mall and into the suburb across the street, they too had decorated their trees and lamp posts. So in her mind, she now thinks that Chicago decorates the "town."

So we here in Chicago are under a winter storm warning. The funny thing is, besides the fact that it was near 60 out for the last 5 days, is that my mother said this was going to happen. And not just because she was being pessimistic or anything. When we went to bingo on Monday, she had mentioned that this is the same exact weather pattern that we had before the blizzard of 1967. Well, if you know my mom, you know that she can sometimes spew information that she really has no idea about. But it had me curious. And lo and behold, upon googling "blizzard 1967" it was, in fact, damn near 60 the few days prior to the storm. Hmmm. Either or, I am thinking that we are going to get a punch in the face with this snow. We have had some pretty mild winters here the last few years and I am thinking it's time for that wonderful woman we call Mother Nature to once again let us know exactly who is in charge.

Mother of the Year

This would be the award that I would not be getting! Besides the fact of being horribly neglectful here, I am awaiting the call from DCFS.

Caitlyn comes into our bed every morning. And really, this isn't a big deal to either of us. She isn't allowed to come in until the sun is up (or she would be in there as soon as we were). If she comes in before the sun is up, I can usually shag her back to her own room. Typically, she comes in around the time that Matt is getting up for work, so it works out nicely.

Sunday morning she comes in as usual. I hadn't gone to bed until almost 4 am, apparently some insomnia issues going on. It must have been somewhere around 6 or 7 that she came in asking to get in bed with us. Now, I don't know what I was dreaming about or how deeply I was sleeping, and at the time, I wasn't fully functional. Though, I can see it all very vividly now.

Caitlyn: Mommy can I get into bed with you?

Mom: leans out of bed (had to really stretch) and slaps child square on the cheek. Then lies back down to resume sleeping.

Caitlyn: Look of horror and shock, graps cheek, begins crying.

Mom: Realizing what I have just done to my poor girly, swoops her up and starts kissing and hugging and apologizing....profusely.

Joke of the entire day (by Matt of course)....

"Caitlyn don't _________ or Mom might slap you in the face."

(asshole)

Soccer Banquet and a Halloween Party

Caitlyn has finished the soccer season. They had a banquet on Saturday and the kids were allowed to wear their Halloween costumes. It is supposed to rain here on Halloween so I am glad that she was able to get another chance to wear the costume without having to worry about wearing a coat with it.

The coach gave all the kids trophies. And Cate is chatting nonstop about getting her very first trophy. Anyone that will listen to her gets an earful about how this is her first trophy and how excited she is.
Here she is with her trophy and Maya (her new best friend).


Here she is in her costume. Notice the smile. Her newest "thing" is that she doesn't want to show her teeth when she smiles. And when I ask her to, I get this weird looking face. Not sure what is going on with that, but hopefully she is out of it by the time school pictures roll around.


We also went to a Haunted House after the banquet. She was just dying to go to one...so we finally caved and took her. I picked one that I knew would be short, both waiting in line and walking through the house. So we chose the one at the police station. It took all of about 37 seconds of her being in there before she cried and said she wanted to leave. Luckily, the entire thing was only 2 minutes long. So I held her and kind of stayed back from the group so that everything coming out would scare them and not us. When it was over, she said it wasn't that bad, But I don't think that she will be asking to go to another one anytime soon.
Here she is outside in line for it (again with the goofy ass smile).


Other than that, not a whole lot going on in our worlds right now. Parent teacher conferences are coming up in a couple of weeks. That should be loads of fun. We got the note to sign up for them telling us that each will last about 8 minutes??? Most ridiculous thing I have ever heard in my life. But I will go along with the program and if my conference "just happens" to last longer than the 8 minutes, oh well.

Courtesy of my Papa

REVENGE

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night.



The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"



Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic, because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared.



To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 68. His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.



Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?"

The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down......."

Mr. T

This has got to be the funniest thing I have seen in a loooong time.

Catching Up

Well, I met with the teacher the day after the "incident." Without rehashing everything, let's just say that she now knows to take my daughter's complaints seriously from this point on. I also think that I scared her just a little bit. A few days after I met with her, I emailed her a question and also wanted to let her know that Caitlyn would be going home with one of her friends and her mom. The email that I got in return was disgustingly nice. Over the top nice. The kind of nice that when you read it, you know the author made a conscious effort to be nice. But I am so okay with that. As long as Caitlyn is reaping the benfits of my visit, that is all that matters to me.

We dog sat for Magee a couple of weeks ago, and I am just now getting around to uploading the pics from his visit. Caitlyn loves when he comes to stay for a couple of days. Matt on the other hand....well, let's just say it makes him thankful that we have cats and not dogs.

Here's the girl with Magee doing what they both do best.


Matt's football season is almost over, so he will be home in the evenings again. Which is good? I get so used to him not being home that it is strange when he finally is home before it's dark.

Caitlyn is gearing up for winter. We had some snow showers here last week and she was convinced that there was going to be no less than 8 feet of snow. See for yourself....she is all ready to go and frolic in it.....

The Kindergarten Teacher

So I figured when Caitlyn started school that I would have a leg up on most situations because of my profession. This hasn't proven to be true so far this school year. Let me just say that I am less than pleased with the kindergarten teacher. We'll take this point by point....the last, which happened today, has completely pushed me over the edge.

1. Caitlyn learned to write her name in all capitals. Now I know, I shoudl have taught her to write it using lower case letters. However, capital letters are easier for children to write. Incorporate Caitlyn's weakness in fine motor skills and it is no surprise why she learned capitals letters first. The teacher wants their names in all lower case. Fine, agreed. When my child writes her name at the top of the paper in all capitals, what purpose does it serve for the teacher to circle it and write her name in lower case letters OVER what Caitlyn has already written? Here's my thinking, since you're rewriting it anyway, just write the damn thing yourself. Secondly, how can she see the way it's supposed to be written when you have written over what she has already written and now it looks like a bunch of chicken scratch??? But this I can get over...we are working on it at home.

2. There is an assignment that is completed a few times a week. The children are to cut out squares with pictures on it and paste them in sequential order. Fantastic activity. Unless you're Caitlyn. She cuts fine. However, the pictures that are on the edge of the page, she doesn't cut that edge out. The piece of paper is still in a square, just has a little bit of the edge of the paper left attached to it. She hasn't cut the heads off the people in the pictures, she hasn't torn the paper, it's nicely cut...all but that damn edge. Teacher's note on every friggin one of them...."poor cutting skills." Actually my child has saved herself some time and been very resourceful if you ask me. Not to mention, the goal of the activity was sequencing, NOT cutting. Were the pictures in the correct order? Yes! then let's move on please. But okay, I will work on that issue as well.

The next 2 points are warranting an email to the teacher, cause I don't see how I can work on them at home without the proper information from the woman.

3. There is a behavior system in place in the classroom. Fan freaking tastic. All classrooms for the most part have them. There is an incentive chart in Caitlyn's folder and she gets a smiley face, sad face, or in between face each day depending on how her day was. Now we got this beautifully written note about carrying this plan over at home and helping the children to get smiley faces, etc. Caitlyn got an in between face yesterday. When I asked her what it was for, she had no clue why she didn't get a smiley face. She did know that she didn't have a good day, but couldn't tell me why. Now I ask you this, how in the hell am I supposed to discourage whatever behavior warrented the in between face when I don't know why she got it??? Yeah that part about the communication between home and schools regarding behavior wasn't in that beautifully written letter.

4. This is the one that has me the most pissed off. Caitlyn woke up this morning and told me that she had a headache. I figured it would go away a short time later and she would be fine. I left work early today, cause I am feeling liek shit courtesy of Matt and Cate passing their germs to me, so I went to pick the girl up from school. She came out and right away told me that she still had her headache. I asked her if she told her teacher. "Yes." I asked what the teacher said. "Oh now your head hurts?" Which I thought was an odd response, so I asked Caitlyn if she had told her teacher that something else was bothering her. She said she told the teacher that her stomach hurt her, to which her teacher replied she shoudl try going to the bathroom. Fine, would have probably been my response as well. But when she mentioned that her head was hurting shortly after she said her stomach was hurting, your response is snarky like my kid is lying???? And here's the kicker, she came home and threw up and had a temp of 102!!!! So needless to say, my child expressed her issues and wasn't taken anywhere near as serious as she should have been.

I am fuming about this last one. Why in the hell would the teacher, at the very least, send Caitlyn to the nurse??? What in the hell do they send kids to the nurse for if not an upset stomach and a headache? I guess if Cate puked all over her damn room, she may have thought twice about being so quick to assume that my child was lying to her.

So needless to say, an email has been sent, and if no response is given within 24 hours, the woman is going to have an irate parent on her hands.

Ahhhh the joys of being "that" parent that usually irks the hell out of me during the school year.

PTA

Caitlyn was very worried when I picked her up at school today. It seems that the teacher has mentioned to the children that not all the moms have joined PTA....and they need to. So Caitlyn desperately wanted to know when I was going to sign the form and send it back. (Joining PTA doesn't mean being involved in any of the activities. Basically, give them your $5.00 and shut the hell up while they do their jobs.) So I told Cate that of course I would fill out the form and send it in.

She is sitting at the table right now, finishing her lunch that she didn't eat in school and she says to me....

"Mom, are you really really going to join the PTA? Cause it's a lot of work and you are going to get really tired."

(leads me to believe that the teacher let them know just how much work the PTA moms do)

I assured her that I was going to join.....again.

"But mom, it takes a lot of time. Will you still be my mommy even if you join the PTA?"

They actually won a game!!

Yesterday Caitlyn's team won their first game!!!! There is a new kid on the team. He hasn't been to practice all summer (not that we have had that many, see previous post) because he has been out of the country. He is from the Ukraine. Well, the rules state that regardless of attendance at practice, kids are to play 2 full quarters at each game. Our coach complained about it all damn summer, that the kid shouldn't be allowed to play since our kids have worked so hard at practices, etc. Well, onto the field walks this little man who speaks hardly and english, and manages to score 3 goals for us. I am pretty sure that the coach is now thankful for that rule that he hated so much all summer.

The girl still has this cold, it's been over a week now. But it is progressing, went from a barky cough, to a wet cough, and now a runny nose with a cough. So we should be nearing the end stages of it very soon. At least I hope that we are.

Mommy and Daddy sitting in a tree....

Ah the joys of being around our peers. Imgaine this....

I pick up the girl from mom's and we are in front of the house. I am gathering up bags and crap before opening the doors. I hear Cate singing in the back seat....

Mommy and Daddy sitting in a tree.
K-I-S-S-T-U-V.

I think I may have even peed a little in my pants with that one.

First day of school....and some other things

I have tried to make this post on about 4 different occasions. However, blogger decided that I shouldn't be allowed to post and my computer kept crashing on me. So here it is now...let's hope it works.

Caitlyn started school last week, only half days though. Today is her first full day (9am-2pm) and her first day of eating lunch at school. I am a little concerned about the whole lunch thing only because her fine motor skills are nothing to brag about. So I have tried to make everything in the lunch box as easily accessible as possible. We'll see how that went when I pick her up from Mom's this afternoon.

Here she is on her way to orientation with me last week...

It seems that it is all about the clothes even when you are only 5 years old. She wants to look perfect every single day. In which case, I told her that if that is her wish, then she needs to not be so damn crabby in the morning. Yeah right!

Soccer is going along nicely. I, however, am about to lose my patience with the coach. he is a wonderful man, really. He's great with the kids and has a load of fun with them. However, these poor kids are getting their asses handed to them at games. And I don't so much mind that they are losing, neither does Cate. Matter of fact, I don't think that she even realizes that they aren't winning. She is really just pleased to be wearing a uniform of any sort and be part of a team. But my rant comes in when they haven't practiced in over 3 weeks. Every week the coach calls and cancels practice on us. Some days he doesn't even call. We go there and we wait, no coach, no practice. It's really starting to irritate me to say the least. If the trend continues through this week, there will be a phone call made to the park district.

Regardless of winning, losing, not having practice, my girl looks way cute in her soccer uniform.
Here she is with her new friend Maya....


And here she is doing her thing and running after the ball. Which let me tell you, is a rarity. She really does prefer to play with her hair while she is out on the field. Another favorite past time is walking on the lines that are drawn on the field. So we have decided that soccer may not be her forte. We will be trying out dance, and that starts in December. I think we will have better luck there as there is no physical contact so she doesn't have to worry about being knocked into by some other kid....

Her head in the trees

How cool is this picture??? I was outside playing with the girl the other day and we decided that she should stand in the tree to take a picture. I hadn't even noticed the sunset behind her until I uploaded the pictures to my computer.

(it also shows very well just how long this child's legs really are)

Don't thank me

Me: Cate will you grab a soda for mommy?

Cate: Sure mama.

Me (upon her bringing it to me): Thank you my lovey.

Cate: Don't thank me, thank technology.

Moral of the story....apparently too much TV.

The Porch is finally done

All safe and secure now. I no longer have to worry about the thing collapsing around me when I walk up or down the stairs. It actually turned out to be a pretty painless process. I kept the windows closed the entire time so as to escape the massive amounts of dust that was created from the project. And the workers that were here doing it get a big high five from me. They worked non stop and through the horrible heat that we had.

Here are some before pics



Here is the after pic


(ignore the girl in her jammies on the stairs...it was morning and we were on my way to mom's and sometimes she doesn't want to get dressed before going there)

The men who did the cement work were even kind enough to let us get Cate's handprints in there. She is beside herself with glee knowing that they will be there forever ;)


Now I just have some serious landscaping issues on my hands to say the least. I am the proud owner of that large pile of rocks and dirt. I have not the slightest clue what I will be doing with that space. But something certainly needs to be done with it soon.

I have managed to survive the first week back at work. It was complete hell waking up in the morning, but I lived. We are all getting back into the swing of things now.

Scary Stories

The baseball game was tons of fun! Caitlyn thoroughly enjoyed every little bit of it. The fact that the Sox managed 8 runs in one inning, a couple homeruns, and lots of cheering, made her having to sit in a little chair so much easier.

The first soccer game that was supposed to happen on Saturday has been cancelled. Seems the park district hasn't drawn the lines on the field as of yesterday. I can understand why they haven't though. It's not like they didn't know about this all summer or anything.

Now on to the scary stories bit. It seems that Caitlyn has enjoyed a few episodes of telling scary stories with Kelly. The problem is, she is only 5 and Kelly is 10. So Caitlyn's stories are nowhere near as frightening as Kelly's. So Kelly plays it off as though she is scared. Caitlyn....she isn't playing, the child is scred shitless when she gets into bed these days. No matter what I do I can not convince her that there are no zombies waiting for her, no monsters, nothing in the closet, and that I am one room away from her if she needs me. For the last week, going to bed has been hell. It's either too dark, or too quiet, or she heard a noise, or she can't stop thinking about the things that are scaring her.

I really am hoping that eventually this will just go away. If it doesn't, then she is going to be one sleepy girl when she does go back to school. Cause now it is taking her at least an hour to fall asleep.

One more day

of sleeping in :( Caitlyn is going to feel the ramifications of my going back to work as well. She has gotten into the habit of sleeping in later than I do. I woke her up at 9am on Thursday because we had to be somewhere at 10. I heard bellowing from the bedroom within 10 minutes that she wanted to sleep longer as it was "too early to be awake" according to her. (side note....man I love how my child loves to sleep in)

On Tuesday, she will have to be up and out of the house with me by 7:30ish. Can't wait to see the demon that surfaces in place of my child when that shit happens.

We are going to the Sox game tomorrow, it's Cate's first official baseball game. I'm sure that she will have a ball even though she fights with Daddy all the time about who the better team is....the White Sox or the Cubs. Hopefully she won't start that up at the game. If she does, look for us on the next season of Cops.

Her first soccer game is on Saturday. Can't wait for that. Nothing like a pac of toddlers running back and forth after a ball and every now and again accidentally kicking it into the goal. Though I must say that there are some really athletic kids on her team. It's amazing to me how you can see athleticism in some children even at this young of an age. It also brings to my attention just how not athletic Caitlyn really is :P No biggie though, she loves playing it and loves even more that she is on a team of any sort.

I am also freaking out about kindergarten already. I'm not so worried about her being there all day, I am sure she will adjust fine to that. What I am worried about is her ability to do certain things while she is there. Things like open up her fruit snack or her applesauce, or get the straw into the juice box, or even something as simple as opening up her pencil box. These are all things that I could have worked on this summer had I even thought about them. Unfortunately they never even crossed my mind. So needless to say, we have been working on them for the last couple of weeks. And even though she is getting better at some of them, they are still pretty tough for her to do. When we go for the orientation, I am going to have a chat with the teacher and hopefully she will be able to calm some of my fears.

Back to work

Only 7 more days left to my summer vacation :( Was wonderful though. The girl and I spent loads of time together and mainly just relaxed. Nothing too stressful which was wonderful. Of course I didn't get nearly all of the things completed that I had wanted to. But oh well....there's always next summer right :P

Caitlyn is loving soccer! She looks oh so cute in her shin guards and cleats. (of course being the fashionista that she is, the outfit is the most important part of being on a soccer team.) Her first game is the 16th I belive. We don't have the schedule yet so I am not exactly sure about that. Though I am sure when I do know, she will have a huge fan base at her games.

Matt has begun football practice again. So I am a widow once more. But that's ok...some days I think I prefer being in the house with just Caitlyn. There's not a lot of dinner cooking that goes on either which is always a bonus.

Other than that, not too much going on in our lives. The porch is nearly finished. I was awoken today to the sound of a jackhammer tearing up the walkway. And the concrete people are the final phase in the project. So hopefull that will be completed by the beginning of mest week sometime :)

Catching Up

Caitlyn's birthday was wonderful. We had a little surprise party with immediate family here at the house for her. She was absolutely thrilled with it. She had some balloons and cake and got a few presents.


Then there was the big party at Caesarland. She had a couple of her friends from school there and pretty much everyone in her family. She got loads and loads of really great stuff. She even got the Lightening McQueen car from the movie Cars. But most importantly she got her Cabbage Patch Doll with brown hair and blue eyes like she wanted.



About a week or so after the birthday, we went to Wisconsin for a few days. Caitlyn was like a fish in the water, even going under on her own a few times. She absolutely loved being up there with the family!





All in all a very busy few weeks for all of us. But we are enjoying the good weather and doing lots of fun things. More to come on the soccer front very soon!

Happy Birthday to my Miracle

Happy Birthday my sweet girl!

For the last 5 years you have made mommy and daddy more proud of you than you can ever imagine. We love you so very much!

Good Appointment

After 5 calls from the doctor on MOnday and Tuesday morning, we made it to the doctor. And it was a fantastic appointment.

Caitlyn now weighs 36 pounds (up 3 pounds from last year) and is just over 44 inches tall (up pver 4 inches from last year). He is certain that she is going to be a tall tall girl ;) Her body mass index is 13. Which technically would put her as being underweight. He said that he would in no way classify her as underweight though. Tall and skinny, yes. Underweight, no. She is now in the 75th percentile (wow) for height and the 50th percentile (even more wow) for weight.

We got the go ahead that we no longer need to go to the eye specialist. He doesn't foresee anything more happening with her retinas as far as deterioration goes. They have recovered from the ROP and there would be no regression at this point. So if we feel the need to, we can just see a regular optometrist on a yearly basis. Or we could let the school do their screenings and if something comes up then we could contact the doctor for a referral to a specialist. So I am content with that for now.

Basically she got a clean bill of health and he is overly pleased with her growth and her progress. My little girlie has amazed them all once again ;)

I knew I would jinx myself

When I posted last night (early this morning) about Caitlyn not having been to the doctor in about 6 months, I thought twice about it. I knew the minute that I hit the submit button the kid was going to be sick. Sure enough, she woke up with a stuffy nose this morning :( I don't want her to be sick for her birthday party which is in one week from today. Hopefully this is a very short lived cold and it will pass in no time at all.

...she may get out of those shots at the doctor after all.

It's Official

I am the parent of a kindergarten child! I can't believe that. I'm not exactly sure where I was or what I was doing, but this child grew up without me really realizing it. I mean I knew she was getting bigger cause I was buying the larger size clothes and shoes. But Kindergarten???

She finished school last Wednesday and came home with a school supply list for next year and her report card. The list is funny. I think the part I giggled most about was the fact that they want a box of 24 crayons. Normal enough. But then it says to label EACH crayon with the child's name. That's going to be loads of fun for me. Anyone know where I can buy crayons that are labelled with the kid's name already on them? Cause I will stock up on those bad boys if they do in fact exist.

Now the report card. You may remember me mentioning that Caitlyn got marked down on her last report card because she couldn't dial 911. And I got that phone that called the police...and the pizza guy (poor poor pizza guy). And she can now call 911. However she appearently wouldn't do it fo rhte teacher, so it says that she hasn't mastered it. Maybe I will call the teachers voicemail and let Cate demonstrate her knowledge of dialing 911 as well as the pizza guy. That would most certainly prompt a call to children's services LOL. But overall her report card was wonderful. Still lagging in the gross and fine motor areas. Like I said before though, I am not to concerned with that as long as she is doing okay as far as her cognitive stuff goes. And she is doing great with that.

I finished work on Friday and am now done until August :) Which I couldn't be happier about. I already have my week off planned out. And of course very little of it actually revolves around me. Caitlyn has her 5 year check up and school physical on Tuesday. She is already trying to tell me that she is going to talk to the doctor about not getting any shots. To quote her, "Sometimes doctors say yes to kids right Mommy?" You keep telling yourself that and see how far you get :P I am also finishing up her birthday party stuff. This year, there is no theme? She had Bratz invites and has a plain white cake with a crown and wand on it. So pretty simple which is nice. It is going to be at Caesarland (which is the generic Chuck E Cheese). And she can't wait for it!

I am working on the list of things for Cate's NICU stay....but it is getting very long. So I am not sure that I am going to post all of it. But I have already printed out the list from the other day and put it in her baby book for her. I am also trying to convince Matt to do a list as well as his perspective on it is so different from mine. I think it will be such a wonderful thing for her to have when she is older. Mainly cause it is so very personal.

Okay, off to bed. Too late for me to be up. will post an update after the doctor. She hasn't been there in a while (6 months or so) so I am anxious to see how much my girlie weighs!

I will never forget....

With Caitlyn's birthday quickly approaching, it seems I always do some reflecting around this time. With the help of Beth, I have created a little (yeah right) list of things that I will never forget about her birth (nor do I want to forget them). In the next few days I will also do one about her NICU stay. But here is a list of things I will never forget about the day my sweet girlie was born!

The pain in my rib cage that was so horrific that I thought I was dying.

Realizing that something wasn't right and this wasn't just "normal pregnancy stuff."

Realizing that you really hadn't been moving a lot in the last few days despite the fact that prior to this you never stopped moving.

Telling Matt that something was really wrong and I think we needed to go to the hospital.

Thinking that I was over reacting and at least we would be able to get dinner at Hooter's on our way home.

Having at least 10 nurses ask me how far apart the contractions were.

Telling everyone medical professional I encountered that I was CERTAINLY not in labor....I just had some gas issues.

Actually telling Matt in the waiting room that the pain has subsided again and maybe we should just go home.

Having the doctor suspect that my gallbladder would need to come out.

Being completely devastated at the thought of having surgery at 25 weeks of pregnancy. (if I had only known how much better of an alternative this was, I might have actually been praying for that to happen)

An hour after them telling me it was probably my gallbladder, having a doctor come in and tell me that I had some condition that happens only in pregnancy and that I would be delivering my child within 48 hours as that was the only cure for this disease.

Getting no other real explanation for the next 30 minutes, just sitting there with Matt not knowing what in the hell just happened. For God's sake I really only had gas right?????

Telling Matt that he needs to prepare himself for this child to die. Exact words: "I am only 25 weeks pregnant Matt. Babies born that early don't live, so you need to prepare yourself." What I was really doing was saying it out loud so that I could convince myself.

The look on Matt's mother's face when she showed up at the hospital.

My brother crying next to me. Him giving me his necklace with his crucifix and football number to wear so that I would know he was with me and giving me strength.

Having the perinatologist and the neonatologist give me the grim details of having a baby born at 25 weeks.

Those same people asking me if I had any questions and responding no. How in the world was I supposed to come up with questions about any of this when it all seemed so surreal??

Being on magnesium sulfate.

Not knowing where the next 12 hours were going due to all the medications I was on.

The nurse wrapping the arms of the bed in sheets. "It's in case you have a seizure dear, we don't want you to hit your head."

Immediately following her exit of my room my saying to Matt, "Exactly how fucking sick am I?" (Of course we still hadn't gotten a full explanation of what my condition was. Other than it's name and the fact that I had to deliver and a few other details abotu the condition.)

How dark the room had to be to prevent stimulation.

Having the doctors tell Matt that we could make the decision to save me or the baby.

Telling Matt that if the decision came down to him, he was to choose me.

Trying to keep that stupid oxygen mask on my face and how sweaty my face was from it.

Blood draws every 2 hours.

Blood pressure readings every 20 minutes. Eventually moved to every 15 minutes, and by the end, every 10 minutes.

That damn blood pressure machine constantly beeping to alert the nurses station that my blood pressure was soaring higher than the settings they had previously put it at. And how long it seemed to take them to come in and reset the damn machine.

A nurse trying to get more blood out of my collapsed and dried up veins and telling me that she may have to get it from my foot.

The doctor who was convinced you weighed about 2 pounds (could she have been more wrong :P)

Dr. Pepper. I thought I was on too many drugs but that really was her name. Matt can verify it.

Knowing that I would be completely knocked out for your birth and not even be able to see you until I was stable.

Knowing that Matt wouldn't be allowed to be in the operating room when you were born.

Knowing that you would be surrounded by complete strangers and not even be able to hear a familiar voice when you were born.

The final blood draw that indicated you had to be delivered now. Looking at the clock and noting that it was 5:40 in the morning, only about 12 hours after we had originally been checked in. So much for their 48 hours theory.

The craziness in the room as they were prepping me for surgery.

Having a catheter put in.

Matt asking me who he should call to come to the hospital (really...we thought we had 48 hours LOL)

Knowing that my mom was on her way after work even though I specifically told her not to come and I would call her tomorrow.

Telling one of the nurses I need to kiss my husband and her telling me there was no time. Then hearing another nurse sternly tell her "Stop the bed so she can kiss her husband. She is very sick."

My arms being strapped down to the table in the OR. And of course immediately getting an itch on my nose.

How bright everything was in the OR.

How badly I was shaking and crying yet trying to be so very strong. I tried so hard not to cry and shake, it seemed that only made it worse.

The doctor who stood next to me and held my hand and said that she would be holding it throughout the surgery.

Someone telling me to count down from 10.

Sucking in the anesthesia so hard because all I wanted to do was go to sleep and pretend none of this was really happening.

NOT falling asleep as quickly as I should have and hearing the anesthesiologist tell the nurse that she must push down on my airway to keep it open, then him saying it a second and a third time. The whole time praying that the dope would kick in and I would just pass out.

Feeling as though I couldn't breathe and having no way to tell any of them.

Hearing the surgeon say "I can't wait anymore. I have to cut now." (not sure if the anesthesia finally kicked in or if that comment made me pass out :P)

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Only 2 more days of school for the girl. And only 5 more days of school for me. Turns out I am taking the pay cut and the change in positions. After much mulling and thought provoking conversations with my husband, we (I) decided that I need my summers off now more than ever.

I went into teaching not only because I wanted to teach and work with special needs children, but because I wanted those summer vacations and winter and spring breaks. Well, almost 10 years into teaching, it turns out I have only ever had one summer off and a nice long stint last summer. For my mental health, the mental health of my employers, and the mental health of the students and parents I work with, it is imperative that I start taking the summers off.

Now I know that many of you don't get nearly as much vacation as you need. And really why should I be whining when technically I can take about 6 weeks off in the summer right? I always give the same answer...I went to school knowing that I would have the summers off and you could have done the same thing. That's the bitchy answer. The more thought out and personable answer is that ....well I guess there isn't really one. I could say that it's because I work my ass off most of the school year and I deserve it. But I know plenty of you that do as well. So that wouldn't be a fair argument either. It always goes back to that idea of I went to school knowing full well that this was a perk of the career.

Anywho...10 more days until the girl's birthday. Makes me want to scream. How in the hell did she get to be 5?? Where was I when this transpired???

My friend Beth wrote a little something on her website about all the things that she remembers about her boys birth and NICU hiatus. It is very well written. And I am going to completely steal her idea and write one of my own. Not tonight of course as it is nearing 11:30 and I need to get some sleep at some point. But it will be coming. I think it is a good thing to do being I am so far removed from it now it seems. And I want Caitlyn to know what her first months were like....horrific as they were.

I Lost Her!

It has happened to me. I lost my child today for about 3.7 minutes. And it was the longest 3.7 minutes of my entire life. Seems even longer than the entire 106 days she was in the hospital.

Here's the scenario....

We were at the school picnic today and having a ball. They had Jumping Jacks and games and food. All in all it was a really nice set up that they put on. Matt and I were sitting with a couple of other parents on some blankets. Caitlyn was running back and forth to the games with some of her little friends. She was typically gone about 5 or less minutes each time. And everytime, I was able to see where she was at. Except for this one time.

She and Alexis were going to get face painting done and tatoos. Fine by me, I will see you in a few minutes. Just as we had been doing. I turned around to put some stuff back in our backpack or something. When I looked up, I couldn't see her and Alexis anymore. Now, I didn't freak out right away. I figured they were at the table getting painted on. So I told Matt, I was going to go over to the table to see her. I stood up to leave, and Alexis comes running back to the blanket.....WITHOUT Caitlyn. Now, I fucking freak out. I tell Matt to stay at the blanket so when she comes back someone is there. I go off to look for her at the face painting and tatoo table. No Caitlyn. I walk around the carnival once. No Caitlyn. Now, I am about to panic, but I stop and think of what I need to do before I lose control.

I see another little girl's father who knows me and Cate. And I ask him if he has seen her. He said no and immediately said that he would start looking. I also ask him to tell the other parents that I can't find her. Matt said he would start looking inside the school as the doors were open and the kids were allowed to go in and out.

Now is when I am about to lose control. All I can think is that these few hundred kids out on this playground is heaven for some sicko. But I refrain from panicking as I know that I can't do that if I am going to find this child quickly....and because I don't want to look like a complete ass in front of the entire school.

I go to the DJ and tell him that he needs to announce that Caitlyn should go to the swings. He tells me he will when the song is over. Yeah, that's not going to work for me but thanks for playing. So I tell him that she is only 4 years old and I can't find her that he needs to stop the song and do it now. He looked at me like I was crazy, but only for a brief moment. I think the tip off for him had something to do with the fact that my hands were clenched into fists?

So he makes the announcement. I look around for a couple more seconds then realize that I should probably go over to the swings in case she heard the announcement and heads over there.

Lo and behold. I go to the swings and there is my girl. Smiling at me cause she is excited that they said her name on the microphone. I quickly scoop her up and bathe her with kisses. And my heart finally stops pounding and I no longer feel the urge to cry hysterically. Turns out she was in the jungle gym and I couldn't see her in there. And of course, I realized later that it didn't occur to me to actually look in there in the first place.

Then I walk around so that I can let all of the people know that I have located her that were looking for her. I must say though, that the other parents were all over that shit with me and were scouring the playground looking for her. Which really made me feel good when it was over with.

Amazing how long those few minutes felt for me though. And I really hope that I never have to relive those few minutes ever again.

That's all she wrote

I am now officially considering the school year finished. I have run around all morning picking up equipment from 4 different schools. We are completely moved upstairs. Most of my boxes are unpacked. Now all I need to do is take inventory of all the equipment that we have in our library and I will be on summer vacation. Of course, I can't do inventory until I hook the computer up that the inventory software is on....but that is waiting until Monday.

Tomorrow is Caitlyn's school picnic and she is so very thrilled that both her mom and her dad are going with her. I was a little peeved about this whole picnic deal, but I am picking and choosing my battles. Turns out the kids can't attend unless they are accompanied by an adult. Which I can completely understand. However, on the calender, it is officially a school day, not a day off. So technically speaking, I should be allowed to take my child to school and leave her there as is the custom every other morning. But I won't argue. If anything, I am getting to take a day off work to hang out with my girlie and the husband. So it can't be all bad right?

Currently, Caitlyn is counting down the days to summer vacation with me....as well as the days to her birthday. Holy smoke this kid is going to be 5!!!! I am starting to get all weepy when I think about it now. And not for the reasons that I used to get all weepy. I used to think about how tragically her life began and how far she has come. Now I get all weepy because she is getting so big. And it seems like it is happening all so fast all of the sudden. This kid's first 2 years dragged ass. More than likely it was because she was in the infant stage for soooooo long having to catch up with everything. Once 2 hit, this child went into fast forward. And now when I hold her, I think of when she was little enough for her whole body to fit on my torso, or when she was little enough for me to carry around like a sack of potatoes. Not so much anymore.

The other day at my mom's house, she was all snuggly with Matt and giving him all kinds of loving. She couldn't get enough of his kisses and couldn't seem to get close enough to him. He was all smiley, naturally. I told him that he needs to hang on to this as soon enough this kid won't want him coming near her to even kiss her on the cheek.

Ahhh, waffling. Okay, off to find something to complete here at work. Maybe I will hook the computer up after all so that I don't feel as though I am doing nothing. Though that can't be all bad can it??