It's Done

And I'm not really sure I how feel about it. Obviously, I have to be okay with it, because there is no going back now. But once the doctor came in and they started to wheel Matt's gurney out of the room, I left the hospital to go outside. Once in the car, I cried. I didn't realize until the moment they were taking him away just how much I would be effected by it. In the midst of my crying, I cursed my body for crapping out on us 3 times. 3!! Granted, I got an amazing kid out of one of those times. But it crapped out that time none the less.

I called my best friend and told her how sad I was. Amazingly, she was wide awake at 8:30 in the morning. Which is unheard of. And she listened to me and made me feel better. Hearing myself tell her the reasons why this was the best decision for my family helped me to know for sure that it was.

But damn it, it really sucks. And it hurts.

Enough of the pity party. Matt is doing great. He is in quite a bit of pain. And he is pretty swollen. But overall, he feels really good.

Caitlyn thinks he has a stomach ache and that we went to the hospital for blood work. She is none the wiser, and doesn't need to be. She would never be able to understand this at her age.

On that note....here are some pictures of my amazingly beautiful daughter. Could she be any more gorgeous??

Tomorrow is the big day

Matt is going in for surgery at 6:30 tomorrow morning.

I am so torn with this decision. I guess I just hate the finality of it. While I know that it is in the best interest of my little family to have this done, it's just such a hard thing to let go of completely. I would probably be more comfortable with the decision if we had 2 or 3 children and those pregnancies were all well and good. But when you have a life threatening condition that forces you to give birth to a 25 weeker, and then go on to have 2 more miscarriages, I think it's safe to assume that the odds are just stacked up against us.

What I keep telling myself is that I can't tempt fate. We are so incredibly lucky with Caitlyn's developmental outcome that I often fear if we were to have another preemie, our luck wouldn't be the same. One of the biggest reasons that I believe this is the right decision for us though is because of Caitlyn. If we were to have another pregnancy and I became as ill as I was with Caitlyn, I don't want to even imagine the pain and suffering that would cause my baby girl. And if for some reason I were to die because of that pregnancy, I don't know what it would do to her. Her whole life would be turned upside down and inside out. Because of that, I know this is absolutely the right thing to do for our family.

Caitlyn has no idea what I am taking Matt to the hospital for. I have told her that it is because he has to have some blood work done. And because of that, he can't eat or take his insulin. So to make sure that he doesn't go low on the way there, I am driving him. While she is accepting this explanation, I don't know how much she is buying it. She has always been quite the intuitive little girl, and when I give her these reasons, she looks at me almost as if she is thinking, "I'll pretend like I believe you, but I know there is something much bigger going on here."

In recent months, Cate has started saying that she doesn't want a brother or sister. That she is perfectly content being an only child. I think the fact that she has begun to formulate relationships outside of school and she spends time on the phone with her friends and she goes to their houses, etc, she has learned that she doesn't need a sibling in order to have a playmate. Which is what I think her logic has been in the past. Not to mention the fact that this kid can clearly see how much more spoiled she is by being the only child and the only grandchild on my side of he family ;) She is a quick study that kid! So I don't worry about her not having siblings. She has plenty of cousins and extended family through close family friends that I think they can fill that void for her; as much as it can be filled.

So wish us luck. Actually, just Matt since he is the one who will be having the procedure done. I just need the luck to deal with him for the next few days. He needs much of the luck because he is still going on about this Brazilian thing and is none too pleased about it.

Take Your Daughter to Work Day

Caitlyn came to work with me on Thursday for Take Your Daughter to Work Day. I think it may actually be called Take your Child to Work Day now in order to be more politically correct?

I was curious to see how Caitlyn would respond to some of the children that I work with. While she has been exposed to children with disabilities since she was young, she hadn't been around them much in last few years. She does have a child with Down Syndrome in her class, but that is about the extent of her exposure these days. I knew that seeing some of my kids would be a very new experience for her.

The first school that I took her to, I had her in a room with a little boy who is 3 years old and nonverbal. He has never spoken a word and was recently diagnosed with autism. Caitlyn has never been around a child with autism, or a child who is nonverbal for that matter, so I wasn't sure how she was going to react. She really didn't interact much with this little boy. However, I don't think it was because of his limitations, but rather because of the age difference. There just isn't much that a 6 year old girl has in common with a 3 year old boy.

At the next school I took her to, there would be more children her age. In the classroom that we would be spending time in, there are 4 boys who have autism and one boy who has severe CP.

Caitlyn was immediately drawn to one of the little boys who is in second grade. She enjoyed playing on the floor with him with the blocks and the books. But she did notice that she had some trouble communicating with him. He is very soft spoken and often speaks off topic about things that he likes. None the less, she really enjoyed playing and interacting with him.

When I attempted to introduce her to the little boy with CP who is in a wheelchair, she backed off and said she didn't want to meet him. I was a little stunned by this to say the least. However, once he was out of his chair and on a mat on the floor, she warmed up some and ended up reading him a book and telling him he needed to listen to her when she would start acting like he wasn't paying attention! When I spoke to her about this later, she said that she was afraid of all of the wires on his chair (for his communication device) and she was worried that the wheels of his chair would roll over her toes.

After she said that, I thought those things were very plausible concerns for a 6 year old. Especially one that hasn't been exposed to wheelchairs. And really, if I were to get down to Caitlyn's height level, I can understand how all of those things could be concerning to her. Her head comes to about where the handles of the wheelchair are, and the wheels look much bigger from her point of view. What I am glad about though, is that I talked to her about it and helped her to understand that her fears/concerns were valid. As well as helped her to understand that while they were valid, I could help her to understand that those things were nothing to be afraid of.

All in all I think it was a good experience for her. I was proud of how much she actually took away from the experience. I have taken her to work in the past, but she was much too young to really understand the magnitude of what it was I did at work all day. When I came home on Friday, she asked me how each of the kids were doing by their names and how their day went. She was also excited because she got to stand up in class and tell her classmates what she did with me all day and about some of the kids that she met. So I know that she took something away from the experience. I think when I take her next year, I am going to have her complete an assignment of some sort ;)

Report Card

We have made it through the third quarter, which means we are in the home stretch now. I have 34 days of school left and Caitlyn has 39. And, the weather is starting to warm up, which always gives me a warm fuzzy feeling.

We had Cate's parent teacher conferences this evening. I love this teacher so much, and I am going to be so sad when Caitlyn doesn't have her anymore.

Here are the grades:

Reading: A
Listening: A
Speaking: A
Math: B
Science: A
Social Sci: B
Art: A
Music: A
PE/Gym: A
Technology: A
Spelling B
Handwriting B
Conduct: A

She also got a ribbon for Citizenship and she didn't receive any checks :)

So all in all, I am very pleased with the report card again. Her teacher said that Caitlyn is participating a lot in class and she is doing really well in reading comprehension (based on the tests they have taken so far). They have also started timed tests in Math which include addition facts. The students are given a sheet of paper with various addition problems on them and they have 1 minute to answer all of the problems. So far Caitlyn has been able to answer all of the problems in the minute. Of course as the addition becomes more difficult, that may not be the case. But we will continue to plug along with that.

The teacher also said that there haven't been many complaints about her stomach hurting her either. Which I am surprised about. Only because of the changes that have gone on at home with me being in school. But I did tell the teacher about that before I started. To warn her that there may be complaints because I would be gone 2 nights a week. So hopefully we are done with that phase.

I am so proud of my little girlie :) She has proven time and time again just what a miracle she really is. And the surprises don't stop with this kid :)

A Brazilian

Matt and I have both agreed that the time has come for a vasectomy. I know that I have mentioned this before. But I think when we first started talking about it neither of us were really "ready." And now it seems that we are finally at that point. Mainly because the cons now certainly out weigh the pros. So essentially it becomes a no brainer.

So Matt went for a consultation with the doctor last week. When he came home we were discussing the procedure and what not. We are careful not to mention it in front of Cate for a variety of reasons. One being that she is far too young to really understand what we are talking about. Second, she will be so so scared if she knows Matt is having surgery. So we speak elusively about the subject when she is around.

After she went to bed, Matt called his sister's husband to get the "inside scoop" on the procedure. Before ending the conversation, Matt asked if they would have to shave him. You know...down there. And our dear brother in law said:

"You are now the proud owner of a Brazilian."

Matt felt compelled to tell me and of course, just as he was, Caitlyn was coming down the stairs. And she had a whole lot to say about a Brazilian.

C: "You're getting a Brazilian dollars???" (with mouth hanging open)
C: "How much money is that?"
C: "What are we going to do with it??

She managed all of these questions before either of us could even get a word in edgewise and correct her. We finally we able to tell her that a Brazilian is a hair cut and not money. She was quite disappointed.

A Lucky Girl

Today Caitlyn received an award at an assembly at school. She received a POPS award, which stands for Power of Positive Student. She received it in the area of courage. They give a few of these out each quarter to the kids and they get a certificate and walk across the stage to get the certificate from the principal of the school. She was so so so thrilled to be getting this. And Matt and I couldn't be more proud of course ;)

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to attend the assembly. Normally, I can rearrange my schedule so that I see kids later in the day and then stay later in the afternoon to finish up what needs to be done in my office. However, this morning I had an annual review to attend. And it was for a "high profile" kid, so there was absolutely no way that I could miss it nor could I show up late. See, these parents insist on every single team member being there for pretty much the duration of the meeting, regardless of what they have to offer at the table. So my kiddo was devastated that I wouldn't be there.

In lieu of being at the assembly, I told her that we would go to Pizza Hut for dinner to celebrate when Matt got home from work. And we did just that. We are also going to buy a frame for the certificate and hang it in her room.

After dinner, we had to go to KMart to pick a few things up. While we were there (because those trips always turn into more than just running in and out for what we need) the girlie found $20.00 on the floor. This was right after she came running up to me all excited and squealing that it was her lucky day because she had found a dime. She came running up to me a second time waving something in the air and squealing again. Only this time she was waving a 20 dollar bill shouting,

"I have 21 cents now!!!"

Not exactly kid! But I think you're right about something....it must be your lucky day!

I start my classes on MOnday evening. I will be going on MOndys and Wednesdays from 6-9pm. So I will knock off 2 of the classes necessary for the LBS endorsement. Once those are out of the way, June 15th, the university can sign off on the emergency certificate form, and the district can then apply for it. I have been reassured by the district that once those classes are finished, they will be applying for said certificate. I can't do anything but have blind faith that they are telling me the truth. Fingers crossed!

Update

Long overdue, I know.

I'll start with work since that is the reason that I haven't updated in so long. I have applied for graduate school so that I can get my certification in order. In the meantime, I have been officially riffed because I do not hold this LBS endorsement. However, I was assured that once I have enrolled in a program, the district can apply for the emergency certificate, which will allow me to be rehired. The scary part of all of this is that there will be a new special ed director as well as a new human resources person. So the only 2 people who are aware of the process, know the background, and have told me I will be rehired, will be leaving. So I am trying to get all of my ducks in a row before that happens.

I am registering for one or two classes next Tuesday. Once I do that, hopefully I can get what forms I need signed signed and we can be on our way to being rehired. If not, then I could be welcoming you at a Walmart near you ;) Which I guess wouldn't be so bad. I often think that it has to be somewhat easier working at a job that doesn't come home with you. Is there such a thing? Walmart greeter has got to fit that description right?

Amongst all of the certification crap that I am dealing with, I have been completely swamped at work for the last month or so. I have gotten 7 new referrals on kids. Basically that means that I have to evaluate 7 kids, trial equipment with them, write up a report, go to the IEP meeting, and have an AT plan of action in place.....all within the legal guideline of 60 days. 60 days is fine when you are talking about a couple referrals. But not 7!! To say I am currently overwhelmed is an understatement I guess. But I am hanging in there and managing to finish everything up in the time allowed. Once I finish up all of that stuff, then comes the fun part of training staff on whatever it is that I have recommended as well as training the student. The students are the easy sell. The adults, well they aren't always so keen on implementing things that I recommend.

But there is light at the end of the tunnel. Spring Break starts this afternoon. I am so ready for that! Caitlyn and Matt were on break this week. So while it kind of sucked that I still had to get up early and they got to lounge around, it will all be worth it when they go back to school next week and I have the house to myself. That's right. Home alone. I am so excited about that. Although I have planned some things and I am going to try and chaperone Caitlyns field trip on Wednesday. But other than that, the week is all mine.

Caitlyn's lip healed beautifully and we ended up not needing to go to the doctor. Although she really wanted to, I didn't think there was any reason to as the wound was scabbing over nicely and she wasn't having any pain.

Caitlyn was the star of the week at school last week. Which was very exciting news in our house. This meant that she got to create a poster that was all about her. One of the things that she put on there was that she wanted to be a director when she grows up. This is all news to me. For the longest time she has been telling me tht she wants to be a ballerina. She loves to dance! So I am not sure where this is all coming from. But it's ok, I made her promise me that if she did in fact become a director, she had to take me to the Oscars with her. Her giving up a date for one night is a simple price to pay for everything I have gone through and done for her. Agreed?

Not a whole lot of anything exciting going on around here these days.

The Phone Call from School

There is nothing worse than getting a phone call from your child's school nurse in the middle of the day. Nothing. At all.

I was driving home around 3ish when my phone signaled that I had a voice mail. I figured I just didn't hear it ring because I listen to my music in the car quite loud. It's my downtime, my escape if you will. When I called for the message, the time stamp on it was from 10:08 this morning. I was quite confused.

It was the school nurse. She began the message with:

"Hi Mrs. Walsh, this is Mrs. XXX, the school nurse from Dever. I don't want to alarm you, and Caitlyn is ok."

Thank God she said that at the beginning of the message otherwise there might have been a car accident. She went on to say that Caitlyn had tripped on the stairs and her top tooth on the left side went through her bottom lip.

I'll wait for a second while you cringe.

Apparently, she fell, hit her mouth, her top tooth went through the top part of her bottom lip and caused quite a bit of blood. In the message she said they were "able to finally stop the bleeding" and Caitlyn was going back to class with an ice pack and that she was fine. She also said I could call if I wanted to check on her. Oh, and that she had a little bit of a fat lip.

Immediately (after knowing she was fine) I thought:

"These people are going to think that I don't even care enough to call back when they tell me that my child has had a pretty significant accident at school!"

So I called the school. Because damn it I will NOT be that mom. I explained that I was just now getting the message and apologized profusely about it. I was assured that Caitlyn was fine. However, I needed to have a form filled out by her doctor. I was a little confused, but agreed.

When I picked Caitlyn up from my mom's house I couldn't believe how swollen her lip was. And the hole people! There is a hole in her lip from where her tooth pierced it.

I can wait again if you need to cringe.

The form that needs to be filled out is basically a form that says she is not restricted from any physical activity at school. In a round about way, I think it is releasing them from any liability of anything that happens as a result of this.

I made an appointment for Saturday and now I am really glad that I did. She is complaining that her hand is hurting her and it is "weak" when she picks things up. Her knuckle is a little discolored and swollen so I want the doctor to look at it just to confirm that it is fine.

And the kicker of it all.....the tooth that managed to cause all of this is that damn extra tooth that she has in her mouth. Not sure if I ever mentioned it before, but for 4 years she had a gap in between her front tooth and the one next to it. The dentist has said that he believes it is probably because the vent sat on that spot on her gum causing a space, which in turn made room for a tooth. Something along those lines. He also told me that he has NEVER seen it take 4 years for a bay tooth to grow out. Well, he needs to understand that all the rules are broken when he is dealing with my kid. And now that tooth is loose.

Hopefully there is nothing wrong with her hand and she can get over the trauma of all the blood that was everywhere.

For your viewing pleasure:

100th Day of School

Tomorrow is Caitlyn's 100th day of school. I'm not exactly sure when this little tradition started in schools. I don't remember ever "celebrating" it when I was in school. I only heard about when I graduated and got my first job.

And let me tell you, it is crazy business!! And these kids are way serious about it. The schools that I am in had their 100th day last week, since we start before Chicago Public Schools. There are posters all over the walls in the hallways. That's all the kids can talk about.

One of the things that Caitlyn's room is doing is bringing in 100 of something for a snack. They are going to mix everything that they kids bring in a bowl and have a "silly snack" tomorrow. Now my kid, being who she is, wants to bring 100 grape tomatoes. Well, when you mix that with marshmallows and pretzels and cereal, I'm thinking it won't be very tasty. When she was told she couldn't bring those, she asked about bringing cherries. Again, nix that. How about frozen peas she wondered. Okay really kid, bring in some sugar and call it a day. Finally she decided on Golden Grahams cereal as they are just like mini graham crackers. Now, my kid is by no means a health food junkie, but she eats healthy. Sure she will kill anyone that steps near her Hershey's bar, but for the most part, the girl likes her veggies and fruits and just assumes that everyone else enjoys them as much as she does. So we settled on the cereal and it's all counted and ready to go.

The second dilemma we faced was what she was going to wear. It is also Spirit Day at her school. The theme is sports. She wanted to wear her Cubs jersey. For the life of me, I can not find that damned shirt anywear. God only knows what has happened to it. So we settled on the Bears jersey. Then she drops the bomb shell....she needs to WEAR 100 of something. I find this out the night before it has to happen. Not that I would have been able to construct or assemble anything really cool cause I am just not that crafty. I asked her if she wanted 100 braids in her hair and she looked at me like I was a lunatic!! So then we tried to glue 100 candy hearts on a ribbon (left overs from the valentine's day candy) and that failed miserably. I would have strung them, but have you ever tried to puncture a hole in those stupid candies? Futile. I had a very depressed child, but one who was putting on her game face and telling me it was fine and no big deal. Which in Caitlynese means "I can't believe my mom can't make me anything of 100 to wear and I am going to be the only kid without it tomorrow." So I was on the hunt and finally came across a string of beads that had.....are you ready.....103 beads on it(yes, I counted them, I was desperate damn it). I told her there were 100. She'll never know the difference.

So tomorrow I will have a really sugared up child and baggies of crap. Which will add up to thousands of piles of crap because each baggie will contain no less than 100 pieces of crap. Yay me :)

Jordan's Bath Gel

Scene: Caitlyn in the bathtub this afternoon. I was in the bedroom watching television while she played. (yes I am that bad mother that you heard about that leaves her kid in the tub alone)

C: Mom!!

N: Yes baby?

C: Can you call Auntie or Ashley? (my best friend or her daughter)

N: Sure. Why?

C: Cause Jo Jo left his shower gel in here and I don't like in it my tub. Call and see if one of them can pick it up today.

That gel has been in there since New Year's Eve when Ashley was watching the kids here and they took a bath. Separately of course. But nonetheless, it has been in there for close to 2 months. And now it is suddenly driving her bat shit crazy that it is in her bath tub.

Uka La Lacha

"Uka la lacha."

"Uka la lacha."

"La la la la la la la."

That's what I heard Caitlyn singing last night as she was playing. As she was singing it, she was shaking her bottom as fast and as hard as she possibly could. I asked her what she was singing and she told me it was a song she heard on TV. Thinking the tune was familiar to me I sang a song to her to ask her if that was in fact the song that she was singing. She said yes it was.

Know what the song was???

La Cucaracha.

And now, I will never sing the song the same. It will always be Uka La Lacha.

She wasn't very happy either when I told her that the song was actually about a cockroach!

The Report Card and DIBELS testing

Long time no post, and I have lots and lots to post, but I figured I would at least get the info about the girl's report card and the results of her DIBELS testing up here.

DIBELS
Phonemic Segmentation Fluency Goal: 35 phon/minute Score: 47 phon.min
Nonsense Word Fluency Goal: 50 sounds/minute Score: 44 sounds/minute
Oral Reading Fluency Goal: 20 words/min Score: 53 words/minute

So the oral reading fluency.....stunning!!!!! More than double what she should be reading right now. To say that I am proud is an understatement.

Her report card was just as brilliant too.
REading B
Listening B
Speaking A (yeah, we all know how well my kid talks)
Math B
Science B
Social Science B
Art A
Music A
PE A
Learning Technology A (basically a computer class)
Spelling A
Handwriting B
Conduct A

Overall, my kid kicks ass in school. And what's even more interesting to me is how is seems to come pretty easy to her. She picks concepts up so quickly and doesn't seem to struggle with a whole lot that's going on. For example, she missed 2 days of school last week because she was sick. So when she came home on MOnday, she had a load of homework to catch up on. There were a bunch of Math sheets in there with concepts that were started, of course, on Thursday. I explained it to her once, and she had it. Did the sheets completely on her own.

Tonight I think she is being treated to Pizza Hut for all of her hard work. (And it prevents me from having to cook a meal, win win situation really>)

Met with the teacher and other things

Man I love this teacher. She is so very kind to kids and Caitlyn just adores her. So much better than last year.

So we met this morning with Caitlyn and talked a bit about how she was feeling and what we were going to do to make sure that she was happy in school. We are keeping a picture of her and I in her folder so that when she gets sad or misses me she can look at the picture. Caitlyn said that she is worried this will make her miss me more, so I suggested also putting in a picture of the boys (Marten and Roger). She suggested putting in a picture of bunny. I told her that we would print up some pictures and she could actually choose which ones she wanted in there for the week. Hopefully this will nip the issue right in the bud. Because mornings can be rough when your child is complaining at 6:30am that they don't want to go to school.

Now a little bragging on myself. Since I was able to accomplish so much over Christmas break, I have felt like I want to keep that going. And I have been pretty successful with it. Here are 2 things that I have made a significant change with in my household in the last month:

1. I am trying to keep up with laundry. Caitlyn and I have enough clothes in order to be able to go without having to do laundry for 2 weeks. (We are clothes whores fo sure, I will nto deny it!) Despite having all of those clothes, it seems like all I do is a load here and there to make sure that we have what we need. Today, I managed to do all of her laundry in one day. Last load is drying as I type. At some point this week, my goal is to do all of my laundry. Then I am laundry free for 2 more weeks. Seems like a good plan.

2. I hate cooking. Loathe it. Cooking in this house has always posed a problem for several reasons. First off, Matt only eats certain things. He is a meat and potato guy. He is just not adventurous when it comes to eating new things. So in the almost 9 years we have been married, I have been burnt out on cooking the things that he likes. The second hurdle is Caitlyn's eating. She is just as damn picky as her father. So it felt like I have always had to make 3 different meals. For someone who hates to cook, do you have any idea how much of a pain in the ass that is?? Well for the last few weeks, I have hunkered down, made shopping lists of exactly what I need for meals, and have pulled out everything that needs to be thawed for the week on Monday morning. Having everything thawed, and everything that I need for the dishes I am making has made dinner soooo much easier when I get home from work. And while these seem like common sense concepts, they have been lost on me for the last 8 years I guess. Don't get me wrong, it hasn't made the issue of Caitlyn's pickiness any easier, but knowing what I am making for Matt and I eliminates that guessing game and I can focus on what to make for her then. And we are saving money in the process which is always a positive ;) The majority of meals that I am cooking are one or two pot meals too. I just don't have the time when I get home to make fabulous gourmet dinners. While I wish I did, it just isn't going to happen. So we are saving our meals out for the weekends....and now I reeeeeeeally look forward to those.

The Berenstain Bears and the Bully

Everyday Caitlyn is allowed to bring home a book from her classroom library. Some days she brings one home, other days we just read one of her books. Today she brought home a Berenstain Bears book. Typically, I like these Bears. The books deal with issues that most 6 year olds face; teeth falling out, chores, fear of the dark, etc. This book about a bully was a bit more than I had anticipated when I started reading it to her.

Here are some exceprts from the book. Those with quotation marks are direct comments from the book. Those without are me filling in some parts.

Sister Bear comes home from school crying and looks a mess. She has scratches on her face and her clothes are all dirty and she is sobbing terribly. Once her family calms her down, she is able to tell them what happened.

Spoken by Sister Bear
"Lizzie, Queenie, and I were playing tag at the playground when this new cub-a no-good bully named Tuffy- stuck out a foot and tripped me. So I got up and said, 'Why don't you watch where you put your feet?' Before I knew what was happening, it was POW, BAM, WHAMMO, and I was flat on my back with this Tuffy character sitting on my chest rubbing dirt in my face."

Brother Bear was determined to rush to his sister's defense, as any big brother would be. He heads straight for the playground to find this bully so that he can handle the situation himself. Until he discovers that the bully is in fact a little girl.

Spoken by Tuffy the bully
"Hey!" she said. "You must be the big brother of Little Miss Pink Hairbow! She got fresh, so I cleaned her clock. Wanna make somthin' out of it?"

Sister Bear is at home with ehr parents trying to figure out a way to resolve the situation.

Spoken by Sister Bear
"But what I'd really like to do is punch that Tuffy's nose right through her face, then kick her in the shin, then knock her down and -"

Brother Bear being the fabulous big brother that he is, went to the school gym and borrowed some boxing gloves. He also got a book for Sister Bear to study, The Art of Self Defense. He then gave her a bag of Mama's beans to use as a punching bag.

Spoken by Sister Bear
"A punching bag named Tuffy."

Narrative
"With Brother's help, she learned the left jab, the right cross, the left hook, and the uppercut. She also learned to duck. And she punched Mama's dried beans silly."

Sister Bear did all she could to avoid Tuffy that week, but by Wednesday, it had proven to be too difficult. She happened upon Tuffy throwing stones at a baby bird and hollered for Tuffy to stop. Of course, Tuffy being the bully that she is, said she would stopm but only because she would prefer to hurt Sister Bear instead.

Narrative
"She rushed at Sister with her hard little fists ready. But Sister was ready too. She had her left out and her right up, protecting her jaw. When Tuffy threw a hard right, Sister ducked, then hit her square on the nose with a right cross. That quickly, Tuffy found herself sitting on the ground with a bloody nose.

Both bears are promptly taken to the principles's discipline bench to wait for their punishments. It then that Sister notices the bully crying. She is puzzled as to why someone as tough as Tuffy would be crying.

Spoken by Tuffy:
"If the principal tells my mom and dad about this, I won't be able to sir down for a - well, a long time."

Narrative:
"Hmmm, thought Sister. Here's a cub who maybe gets hit a lot at home. Maybe that's why she like to hit other cubs at school."

Narrative: (and final paragraph of the book)
"As for Tuffy, the principal didn't call in her parents. But she did lose a week of recess, and she had to visit the school psychologist twice a week for quite a while."

I was reading this to Caitlyn while we were sitting on the couch in the living room. Matt was in the recliner listening. He actually thought that I was making parts of this up.

Caitlyn giggled through some of the parts I have quoted above. I didn't giggle, I am stunned at the way it was written. Do I think bullying is a very real thing that kids need to be aware of, absolutely. But good Lord, to be so graphic about it?? Caitlyn had to ask me what a psychologist is and she asked me if kids become bullies because their parents spank them. Which is basically what she took away from this story. I wonder if that was what the author had intended when he wrote this?

Nothing wrong with the belly

So the night before I took Cate to the doctor, I had a long talk with her about this whole stomach thing. She finally confessed, through some serious tears, that she was making up some of the stories about the stomach aches. My heart broke to see how upset she was over doing this. After some discussion, she said that she was saying it because she misses me when she is at school. However, she said that there are times that her tummy hurts that she wasn't making up. So I told her we would still go to the doctor just to make sure that she was in fact ok. But I was fairly certain that they could be attributed to her being upset from missing me and from not eating her lunch.

The doctor did a lot of poking and pushing on her belly and finally settled on having a urine test done. At the doctor's mention of her having to pee in a cup, I thought she was going to vomit. She couldn't even fathom doing it. But I got her in the bathroom stall and it worked out fine. The results were all normal. We got her sucker and left for home.

An interesting thing happened while we were in the office though. I was chatting with the doctor about how her health has been (this is a doctor that is relatively new to the practice and he is always completely amazed by her, so much so that I think at times he is using her as some kind of study). While he and I were chatting, Caitlyn was facing me and had her back to the doc and she whispered, "Please don't tell him about my lie Mommy." She had the most unbelievable look of desperation on her face. It was as though she was so mortified that this little lie of hers had gotten to this point. I assured her that I wouldn't and the doc and I continued to talk for a few more minutes before departing. When we left the exam room, I asked Cate to wait in the waiting room while I spoke to the doctor. I told him that the reason I brought her here today was to make sure all was well, but that the complaints she was making were for attention. He made sure to tell me that if I needed more help with the situation that I could call the office and they would help me. Man I love my pediatrician's office!!

Needless to say, there was a lot of talking going on about how missing me is no reason to say she is sick. Nor is wanting to leave school a valid reason. And the strangest thing about it all is that she isn't away from me for that long during the day. I drop her at my mom's about an hour before I have to be at work and she is picked up within 2 hours of her getting out of school. But either way, she needs more mom time that she is currently getting.

Here's what we did to fix the situation:
1. We pulled out the calendar and set up days in February that will be Mommy Daughter days only. She suggested going to the mall for ice cream and chat. I can certainly agree to that.
2. We picked one day that I get out of work early that she doesn't get out of school early, for me to pick her up at school. We are going to make a craft together that day.
3. We are meeting with her teacher on Tuesday afternoon so that we can talk to her teacher about some things she can do when she feels as though she is missing me.

Hopefully this will get nipped in the bud quickly. I am starting to think that it may be a developmental thing. I remember when I was about 5 years old, my mom always seemed to be working. I can remember walking to my aunt's house one day, she was babysitting us, and I cried the whole way there with my brother because I just wanted to be home with my mom. So maybe it is just a phase that she is going through. But whatever it is, I know that I can't dismiss it. Nor can I allow it to consume the both of us either. I'm not saying that she is being manipulative, but she certainly hs the ability to be, and I have to make sure that she isn't just playing me too much.

Hopefully the discussion with her teacher will be really good and we can get through this as painlessly as possible.

Off to the doctor tomorrow!

At about 12:30 today, I got a voice mail from Caitlyn's school. They said that she was complaining about her stomach hurting her. When I called back 15 minutes later (after coming out of a school and getting the message)they had already sent her back to her class. I asked if she had a fever or if she looked sick. The lady I was talking to wasn't sure because she wasn't in there when Cate came in. But she assured me that if she did have a fever, they wouldn't have sent her back to class. So I told them that she could probably stick it out the rest of the day. But if she came in again complaininng, to call me and I would come and pick her up.

I didn't get another call, but decided to pick her up from school so that I could have a quick chat with her teacher. She told me that once Cate came back from the office, she was fine for the rest of the afternoon. She also reassured me that there is nothing different going on in the classroom and that Caitlyn hasn't been acting any different since I mentioned this little problem to her. But I asked her to still keep an eye out for any weird behavior. She also wanted to know if Caitlyn was complaining about this at home as well. Which she is. When we got home, I discovered that she again had left everything in her lunch box because she said her stomach was hurting too much to eat. But then she was famished and couldn't stop eating.

So the more I think about it, the more I am thinking that there may actually be something going on medically. Before I picked her up from school, I called the ped's office and got her an appointment for 11 tomorrow morning. And now I am totally freaked out that it could be something more than her just trying to get attention :(

Sick Girl

Caitlyn has a cold again :( I hate when she's sick. She is just not her fun chipper self. She started with a running nose last week. And by Wednesday night, she was coughing. But it wasn't too bad. I gave her some "sleepy time" medicine. It was my hope that a good night's sleep on Wednesday would have her ready to go on Thursday. When I woke her up Thursday morning, she looked like she had been in a fight all night! She had the sleepiest looking eyes and she just didn't want to get out of bed. So I kept her home from school. Thinking that a full day off of just lounging around the house would really help her.

And it seemed to do the trick. She was feeling great on Friday. To be safe, I kept her home from CCD on Saturday, which of course she never minds missing. By the end of the weekend, she seemed like she was going to avoid the whole thing. At least I was hopeful.

Today, she woke up feeling less than stellar. But I figured maybe she was just tired having had a 3 day weekend. She made it through the school day fine and we wen to dance class as scheduled. The game plan was to come home, do homework, take a bath, then go to bed.

As we were doing homework I looked at her face and she had the darkest circles under her eyes. I told her we were going to skip the bath, finish the homework, and have something light for dinner.

Before she ate, I had her take some medicine and use her inhaler. Lo and behold, the coughing stopped and she is now sleeping soundly on the couch. I have to get her up to her bed though. Should she wake up in the middle of the night, she will freak the hell out if she is in the living room all by herself.

I would keep her home the next couple of days, but I absolutely can't miss the next 2 days of work. I could take half days, which I might do if I decide that she needs to stay at home at my mom's. Which is wonderful that I have that option. She just hates missing school so much.

She has also been complaining about her stomach hurting her lately. Which is weird for her. In the past if she has complained about this, it's usually because she needs to have a good bowel movement. But we have moved beyond the days of with holding the poop...thank God...so that really isn't a reason. I'm not sure what could be causing that to happen. But it's definitely something that I am going to be keeping an eye on.

Hopefully she will be up and back to normal in the next few days.

She is getting so big

Obviously I mean Caitlyn. And I am not talking about big in the sense of size. I am talking about how much she can now do on her own.

The other night, we had breakfast for dinner. Something we do often because Caitlyn has always loved breakfast foods. And when she was a new eater, and a poor eater, we would feed her loads of breakfast foods knowing that she would at least be eating. Anyway, a couple of days after we had bacon and eggs for dinner, she asked if she could have some waffles for dinner. I told her that was fine, and that I would make them in a few minutes.

That wasn't good enough for Caitlyn.

She told me not to worry about it, that she would do it. I figured what the hell. Let's see how far she gets. She proceeded to get her chair and pull it up to the freezer. Take out the box of waffles and put them on the counter. She pulled out 2 and put them in the toaster. Once she got the toaster started, she asked me if she needed to do anything else with it.

While the waffles were toasting, she went to the refridgerator and took out the juice. Pulled her chair up to another cabinet and took out one of her cups. Pouring the juice was a challenge. And it was even more of a challenge for me not to jump up and interfere, but I was able to restrain myself.

The waffles popped up. She proceeded to take a butter knife out of the drawer. I began to get a bit nervous. But my nervousness turned out to be unfounded. She managed to cut those waffles into strips.

She put everything away (which this is probably what I should be most proud of considering the kid never puts her damn toys away) and brought her plate of waffles, sliced, and cup of juice to the table to eat.

With the BIGGEST smile on her face. I have never seen her more proud.

The only thing that she needed help from me with was the syrup. And I think that was only because she forgot about it. I put some into a dish for her and gave it to her.

I don't think she has ever eaten a meal quicker.....or happier :)

I could be out of a job next year

Turns out, when this district hired me, they didn't do their homework. Illinois has some wacky laws in regards to teaching certificates and what a person has to have in order to be able to teach. I find a lot of it ass backwards. For example, a person can be a substitute teacher for an extended period of time with a bachelor's degre.....in anything. On the other hand, someone who has been working in special ed for almost 11 years (like me) can't do so without three little letters attached to my certificate. Those letters are LBS.

It stands for Learning Behavior Specialist. For those of us who graduated prior to these letters, that means Resource Teacher, or pull out teacher.

Because I don't have these nice little letters, the district is not getting funding for me through the state. It turns out that they are losing about $8000. Which I guess is a pretty hefty sum.

I am now in a mad dash to acquire those little letters. And getting them doesn't bother me. If anything, it allows me more flexibility with my job positions and should I choose to change districts I have more options. However, one thing the district didn't consider, was the cost of my taking these classes.

I made sure that it was brought to their attention that if I go after this certificate, the classes that I need to take will be put towards my Master's degree. So in the long run, they will end up paying 80% of my tuition. The completion of the certificate entitles me to more hours of Continuing Education, thus bumping up my pay. Once the master's is acquired, I move to a different pay lane completely.

In the long run, they will certainly lose more than $8000 in this deal. And I will only benefit from it. But in the mean time, I am so irritated with the whole situation.

The Winter Break is Over

And we are all back at school and work this morning. It was hell getting up at 6:00am considering that we have all been sleeping until about 10ish everyday. It was also hell trying to fall asleep before midnight last night. Not only for Matt and I, but for the girl as well. But we all managed to make it to our destinations on time this morning.

Over the break, here is what was accomplished:

1. Bssement furniture moved to make space more functional.
Despite this being Matt's "domain" I had decided that the space was just not being used very effectively. With Matt grumbling the entire time, the furniture was moved and the space is now much more effective for everyone to use. (With Matt's permission of course.)

2. Closets in basement cleaned out as well as some of the utility space in the basement.
It would appear that this time spent cleaning was all about the basement! But that's because it needed it. We have a huge storage bin that is built into the basement that spans the width of the house. Perfect for storing things like Christmas decorations and Halloween decor. Which also makes it perfect for storing nothing but crap. Which is what has happened in the last 4 years. So that storage bin was cleaned out.
We also have a row of closets down there that is perfect for hanging extra coats and storing things like wrapping paper and such. While we had those things in there, we also had a load of other crap that needed to be purged.

3. I managed to read 3 novels (they were all parts of a trilogy).
I forget how much I love reading until I am able to just sit down and completely devour a book. Which is precisely what I did after New Year's. The books I read were Uglies, Pretties, and Specials. They were written by Scott Westerfeld. The genre is sooo not what I normally read. But I was intrigued by the first one and found myself back at the bookstore to buy the second and third in the series. There is a fourth, and I read the blurb for it, but I am not so sure that I woudl enjoy it as much as I did the first 3. So I haven't decided if I am going to purchase it or not.

4. Portion of the garage cleaned out.
Our garage is a dumping ground. Literally. We put anything and everything in that stupid garage. And the garage itself is a piece of shit. We had a really bad wind storm over break and the shingles were actually flying off of the roof into our yard and into the alley. So Matt was up on the roof on Christmas Eve replacing the stupid thing.
Because the garage is such a piece of shit, we have to try and salvage what we can of it, even if that means patch up after patch up. We just don't have the money right now to replace an entire garage.
So as we were putting away the Christmas decor, some of which is stored in the rafters of the garage, I got the bug to start throwing a bunch of things away in there. I tossed the baby swing, a few bags of clothes, and some random stuff that I found in corners coverd with things I can not identify, nor do I want to.

5. Purchased and set up wireless internet and set up Caitlyn to have access to the internet.
Matt and I often want to be online at the same time when we are home. When you have to have the computer plugged in, it can't work. So we bought ourselves wireless for Christmas and set it up. Which was surprisingly easy. So now, Matt can sit in the basement and do his homework and such and I can sit upstairs and play backgammon.
Caitlyn is also wanting to be on the internet quite a lot lately. She has her Webkinz World subscription and she loves going to her school's website as they have links to other websites that she can go to. I have been letting her use my log in, but I wanted to be able to restrict certain things for her so I had to set up her own email account. Which she is head over heels thrilled about. She is terribly excited that she may actually get email from someone! So I have to send her an email this afternoon so that she will feel all special when she gets home from school. If anyone else (that I know of course) would like to send her an email let me know and I will pass along her email address to you.

6. Purchased the new car that we have been waiting for!
The van was paid in full last month, so we went out and bought the Dodge Charger that we have been wanting for over a year now. Matt is way too excited about this car. I have the feeling that he may be recieving a few speeding tickets this summer ;)

And now we are all back to our normal routines. Which I am kind of glad for.