What a Week

Life has been rough in the land of the Walshes this week. Started off with me getting a sore throat on Monday. Which by today, has progressed to a full on horrible cold. I have been this sick since I had the shingles. That was the last time that I actually had a cold. So I guess 3 years in between colds is nothing to complain about. But I am still going to because it sucks. Bad.

I also started 2 classes this week. One of which is online. They are both going to be a shit load of work and I really don't know that I am going to be able to keep up with it all. Although, I managed last spring during annual reviews and what not, so I have to keep telling myself that I can do it. I was hoping to graduate with a 4.0, but this term may do me in and ruin that dream. It's quite possible that I could end up with a B in one or both of the classes. Only because I would have to settle for work that isn't A quality in order to maintain my sanity. But it's only the first week, so I have to see how things turn out.

Work is crazy. Our district filed an intent to strike on Tuesday. Which means that we could be on strike as early as 26th. Scary. While I am hoping that it doesn't happen, I think that we are correct in demands that we have set. A fair contract is all we are asking for. Nothing more than what we feel we deserve. If we do end up going on strike, look for me at your local Wal**Mart as I will probably be getting a job as a greeter. "Welcome to Wal....will you be needing a cart today?" I have been practicing in front of the mirror. Can you tell?

Caitlyn is doing fantastic in second grade. She loves it. She loves her classroom and her friends and her teacher. She did tell me this morning that when the teacher writes on the white board, it is often hard for her to read it. I made her promise that she will ask the teacher if she can move her seat closer or if the teacher can write larger. While the Mama Bear side of me wanted to spring to action and call the teacher about it, I decided that I would first allow Cate to do some self advocating first. She is perfectly capable of it, and it is certainly a skill that I think all children should learn. So hopefully whe I ask her after school if her desk has been moved (which it has already been moved 3 times this year and I m not sure why) she will tell me that it has. Or that the teacher has made another accommodation to help her see the board. Will keep you posted.

Only 6 more hours and I can go home, take some sleepy time meds, and crawl into bed where I plan on staying for the duration of the weekend!

An Award

For little ol' me? How sweet of Tiffany to think of me :) You should check out her blog. I do love when she goes on tirades about how stupid people can truly be. She is a woman after my own heart, at least when it comes to cursing people out ;)

Now for some nominees on my end:

Of course I have to nominate Stephanie. She is the person that got me in to this whole blogging thing anyway. Although, I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. But I love her dearly and she has some really cute kids too.

Next up would have to be Kari. She was a little hesitant to start blogging at first. But I will say that once she started, she became a maniac! She has three beautiful babies, all born prematurely. And she has such an amazing outlook on life despite the crappy hand that she is sometimes dealt. While you are visiting her blog, you should check out her dad's blog too. Every now and again, Gary manages to make me tear up when he writes about his daughters and grandchildren.

Here is another Stephanie. She has boy girl twins who were born 17 weeks early. Here husband is an aspiring professional boxer, who is doing amazing things with his career. Stephanie is always so articulate when she and I are discussing issues related to prematurity. Unfortunately, her blog is private, so following the link will prompt you to log in. If you want to read her children's amazing stories, send her an email for login information.

And last but certainly not least, I nominate Abby and Sharon, they are Hallie and Olivia's moms. Hallie has certainly managed to give these ladies a run for their money when comes to feeding issues. I swear they could both be certified nutritionist after all they have been through. Hallie is an amazing little girl who never ceases to amaze me.


Here are the instructions for the following Brillante Weblog Premio award recipients:



1.Place the Logo on your blog


2.Link to the person who awarded you


3.You can nominate up to 5 blogs


4.Add their links to your blog


5.Leave a message in the comment section of their blog to notify the winners.

Stephanie is right

In a few years I will look back at this ridiculous string of posts and laugh my ass off. I know that. Like I said, I am laying low for now until I can have my ducks in a row. Although I can tell that my kid is wanting to really push the buck with this too. When I asked her what she wanted for snack she said that she really wanted to take dried fruit. Now she knows that the teacher told Matt this is not acceptable. But she also knows that her mother will go to bat for her if need be. And to be honest, I think my kid gets a kick out of me raising hell in her defense. She is just too smart for her own damn good I tell you.

So we got a note home yesterday that the kids are encouraged to wear red, white, and blue today. For obvious reasons. Well, last night when Cate and I were picking out her clothes, she wanted to know what holiday it was today. And I told her it was "Patriot Day" and that it wasn't technically a holiday. She wanted to know why she had to wear certain colors if it wasn't in fact a holiday at all.

And then I had to explain to her why she was being asked to wear the colors of the flag. And it was horrible. I could see the fear in her face. I tried to put it all in to kid terms as much as I possibly could. But no matter how gently you say that bad men flew an airplane into a building and killed thousands of people, it doesn't lessen the blow. I think the worst part of the conversation was when Cate asked me if the men flying the plane meant to kill those people and I had to tell her yes. the absolute look of confusion on her face paired with her fright was gut wrenching.

I tried to tell her that the reason her uncle is a soldier is to try and prevent things like this from ever happening again. That wasn't going to console her. If anything, she was concerned by the fact that there is the possibility that it could happen again. And I know she isn't alone in that fear.

I was able to calm her down and get her giggling eventually. But there is nothing worse than having to tell your child about the evils in the world and knowing that there is nothing you can do to shield them from those things. Whether she learns them from me or hears them from other people, she is going to learn that the world can really be a hateful place at times. And that makes me sad. Sad because I can't keep her in her happy little "everything is right in the world" place forever.

Replying to Comments and an Update

Okay, first of all...4 posts in 4 days? I think that must be a new record for me. Maybe I will set a goal for a post a day for all of the days remaining in September (a girl can dream right!)

This snack saga continues. I need to comment on a some of the things that were said in comments as well let you all know about some new information that I have received as of yesterday.

Steph, I get the issue of a special diet and that putting some restraints on what kids are allowed to bring. However, we have not been informed of any severe allergies in the room thus far.

Kari, she is pretty young, a bit older than me maybe by a few years. I do however, think that she is a very uptight person. Judging from the way that she walks and speaks, she doesn't seem to have a bone in her body that would allow her to chill out. If she does have that bone, then it's the one that is stuck up her bum and it does her no good up there.

Tiffany, I agree that if this woman only has the battle of worrying about my kid's snack, she should be thankful. People like that, they always piss me off. Maybe she should be more concerned with the larger issues that are sure to take place in her classroom.
She was quick to tell Matt on the phone that this is a guideline set by all of the second grade classrooms; there are three of them, so about 100 second graders in all. Out of those 100 kids, I know that I can not be the only parent who takes issue with some of these rules. Which is why I am going to back to school night and talking to parents on the playground when I am able to drop off/pick up Caitlyn. I need to rally my troops so to speak.
In the original letter that was sent out, it was clear that messy foods were not allowed. She doesn't want anything too sticky cause then their desks get all sticky. I am beginning to believe that this woman really is borderline OCD. We are talking about second graders here, 7 years olds. It is their sole purpose in life to be messy and sticky and get everything around them just as messy and sticky as they are. I do wish I would have kept the letter so that I could let show you just how over the top this woman truly is.

Now an update:
Caitlyn was allowed to eat her snack that contained 2 snacks in one yesterday. Which is a blessing. Not for me, but for the teacher. Seriously, if she had denied Cate that snack, you would have been watching the news screaming, "OMG, I totally know that mom from the internet forums we are on!!!" And I would have looked like a crazed lunatic spouting off shit about cheerios and raisins. Although, I may just get off whatever charges are placed due to insanity. Because, really, who goes on and on and attacks teachers over cheerios and raisins. But I digress.

I left work early to pick Cate up from school. There were 3 reasons for my wanting to do this. 1, I had to get the hell out of work. I am overworked and horribly stressed right now. So leaving an hour early did everyone around me some good. 2, I wanted to make sure that Cate was allowed to eat the snack that I packed for her. And if she wasn't, then I was a mere 37 seconds way from the principal's office; to which I would have immediately headed. 3, I wanted to talk to some of the other parents about this issue. Because you know, sometimes I really do over react. It isn't until after I have cooled off and done some research that I realize I have gone temporarily insane and may not have handled things as well as I should have. So I wanted to make sure that I wasn't the only one irritated with the snack policy. Here is what I learned from my playground adventures:

1. It would seem that a child is allowed to have dried fruit for snack. As long as it is not my child. A parent I know fairly well has already sent in dried fruit with no repercutions to their child. Mental note, send in dried fruit and see if teacher denies my child snack, then have this parent speak on Caitlyn's behalf as to why her child was allowed to eat that but mine was not.

2. It would seem that a child is allowed to bring in things like cheese sticks and crackers for snack during the winter months. This was told to me by a parent who had a son in this class last year. He was able to bring his cheese stick and enjoy the hell out of it despite it not being a fresh fruit or vegetable. Unless of course that has recently been added to those food groups unbeknownst to me. This parent also informed me that they received the exact same note, with the exact same guidelines, last year. Which leads me to believe that this policy was in effect last year as well, and she managed to bend the rules for those kids, but again, not for Caitlyn. Same mental note made as above.

3. Mentioning the issue of money and the fact that some of the students receive state assistance and free/reduced lunches upsets some people. Despite the fact that it is true, they certainly don't think that those things should impact whether or not those families can provide only fresh fruits or veggies for snack. Especially in the winter when they cost an arm and a leg. Mental note, those people who don't want to talk about families who struggle and second grade snack isn't priority on their list, suck. I need not talk to them anymore.

4. Saying the word fuck in front of a born again christian, not the best idea. They will just turn their backs and walk away from you. Mental note, avoid that person because I have a trucker's mouth and certainly don't want to offend her further.

So here is what I have decided to do:
I am going to continue to only send in fresh fruits and veggies. In the mean time, I am going to continue talking to other parents to get their impression of the rules that have been laid out for us. I also need to get my hands on parents who have kids in other classes to see if the rules are as stringent in those rooms. Because if they aren't, well then Mrs. L has clearly painted herself into a corner as her foundation for all of this is that the rules can't be bent and it is a second grade policy school wide. All I need is for one parent to say that their child has been allowed to bring something other than fresh fruit/veggies in the last week. Once I have that, this woman is going down.

But I am not making my move until I have all of my ducks in a row. And once I do, this woman will not know what hit her.

The response

Well, it certainly wasn't what I was hoping for. I really just wanted the teacher to say that the note was not to be taken literally. That it could be interpreted to mean a healthy snack and not just limited to fresh fruits and vegetables. But I was not so lucky.

She called Matt after school yesterday around 3:30. Matt expressed his concern with Caitlyn not being allowed to have a snack when hers was deemed inappropriate. Mrs. L replied by saying that she handed out snacks on Wednesday and Thursday to those children that didn't have any. To which Matt quickly replied that our child wasn't even in school on Thursday. And he wasn't concerned with those 2 days, he was concerned with the Friday that his daughter was without a snack. To which she really had no reply other than the fact that it is the responsibility of the parents to provide the snack, not hers. Correct me if I am wrong, but I did provide a snack and you told my child she couldn't eat it???

Matt also questioned what the policy would be if our daughter needed a special diet. He mentioned that she was born extremely premature and often times we boost her food with some added calories to help out in the weight arena. She of course said she knew nothing about Caitlyn's medical history and Matt was quick as a whip in telling her that it's because she just assumed that all was well and she could take his daughter's food away. Every now and again a side of Matt comes out that I just love ;) Matt was worried once he said this that it would prompt the teacher to say that maybe Caitlyn would need a 504 plan if she had special dietary needs. And she may just do that. But this lady certainly doesn't want to play the special ed game with me. Cause she will surely be fighting a losing battle. See in the world of Chicago Public Schools, 504 plans are handed out for some really inane reasons; and mostly incorrect reasons. Her dietary needs in no way impact her educational performance. Thus, no need for a 504. So I dare the woman to spout that shit at me.

Matt also questioned whether or not dried fruit would be allowed. Mrs. L's response was that it is not fresh fruit and not as healthy. It's healthy in other ways. It has many benefits. Benefits that are different than those of fresh fruit. I can print out the literature if she needs me to. I would be more than happy to do that for her.

She did say that it becomes difficult to obtain fresh fruits and vegetables at the height of winter for obvious reasons. But basically said that still only fresh fruit and vegetables would be allowed. I call bullshit on that. In the winter months I am not willing to pay an arm and a leg for these things when I can provide her with dried fruit.

Mrs. L said that as teachers we should understand that if the rules are bent for one child, then other parents will want them bent as well. News flash lady, I wasn't asking for the rules to be bent. I was asking that you allow any and all snacks that are in fact healthy. Whether or not you believe them to be, there is nutritional value to Cheerios and raisins. And dried fruit.

The most amazing thing to me is that there is a large population of children in this school who are receiving free and reduced lunches and breakfast. There are many families who receive state aid who have children that attend this school. While Matt and I can certainly afford to go out and buy fresh fruits and vegetables weekly, there are many families in this community that can not. How dare this woman decide how other families spend their money?

Caitlyn also mentioned when we were at the store that they are only allowed one snack at a time. Last night when I was making lunches, I packed her grape tomatoes and green grapes. I DARE this woman to tell my daughter that she can't have what was packed for her today. I will follow her guidelines, but you can bet your ass that I am going to push the envelope every chance that I get. Unless of course it starts to impact Cate. Then I will follow the rules nicely.
(until the end of the year when I key her car)

This saga is not going to end anytime soon. I think that it is now becoming a power struggle and is going to continue through most of the year. Back to School night is on the 25th; it's a Thursday and I have class. But I will be talking to my professor about missing that night. I want to bring this up in front of all the parents and see what their point of view is on all of this.

The email

Here is the email that Matt and I sent to Cate's teacher. I had to keep telling Matt that he needed to reel it in as he was being really mean and vicious. Then he got angry with me when I would ask him not to use words like deprive, and other words that make us sound as though we are attacking her.

It really was a difficult email to write. Only because what I wanted to say, I couldn't. I really just wanted to lay into her about how she has no right to tell my daughter what she can and can't eat provided what she has is healthy. So it was very frustrating to try and compose this.

Hopefully we will get a response sometime soon. We sent it off last night around 10:00 and I was sick to my stomach after I sent it. All I can think about is the possibility of this teacher now being mean to Caitlyn because of the email. Let's hope that doesn't happen. And God help the woman if it does because Matt is horribly fired up about this whole situation.

Dear Mrs. L,
I was a little concerned when my daughter, Caitlyn Walsh, came home on
Friday, September 5th, and told me that she was not allowed to eat the
snack that my wife, Nancy, and I packed for her. She told us that she was
told she could not eat it because it was not a fruit or vegetable.
However, it was in fact a healthy snack. In case you don't remember what
it was, she had Cheerios and raisins mixed together in a baggie.

I understand that you are trying to promote a healthy lifestyle by having
the children consume fruits and vegetables, and we support that. However,
the Cheerios that we packed for her aide in lowering cholesterol and are
made of whole grains and oats and the raisins are dried fruits (grapes).
We try our hardest to provide Caitlyn with healthy food choices throughout
the day and avoid foods that are high in sugar and fat. Which is why we
thought the snack that we provided was appropriate. We read the note that
was sent home regarding the guidelines of what the students are allowed to
bring as a snack. However, we did not interpret the note to literally
mean that they were only allowed to bring in fruits and vegetables.
Rather, we thought it meant that they were allowed to bring in foods that
were healthy. Which, again, what we provided for her was a healthy snack.

What is more distressing to us, is that when she was told that she could
not eat what was provided for her, you did not replace her snack with
something else to eat. Thus, defeating the purpose of eating a snack
midday entirely. In the future, if you feel that the snack that we
provided for her is somehow inappropriate, it becomes your responsibility
to give her something that you feel is appropriate. At that point, I
expect either an email or a phone call to discuss why the snack provided by us
was inappropriate.

Please know that we are not the type of parents who typically complain
about how a teacher runs their classroom. In fact, my wife and I are also
both teachers. We just feel that this situation was handled poorly and
the only person to suffer because of that was Caitlyn. She was teary eyed
when she told us that we had packed a snack for her that she couldn't have
and was quite angry about it. Please realize that we have also included
Mrs. Ortiz in this email because we wanted her to be aware of our concerns.

If you have any questions or concerns please do not hesitate to reply to
this email or call me on my cell phone listed in the signature line of
this email. We appreciate your attention to this email.

The new teacher

Let's hope that what happened on Friday is not a sign of what is to come of this year for the girl.

On Wednesday, Caitlyn came home with a letter from school about the need for a snack to be brought every day. The note was short and stated that the snack should be fruits and vegetables. It also stated that the snack should be stored in a disposable container, and the need for utensils is discouraged as they eat the snack as they continue to work. I took the note to mean that a healthy snack should be brought to school. I talked to Caitlyn about the things that she could bring and we mentioned things like dry cereal, raisins, crackers, pretzel sticks. Basically foods that are not junk but would hold her over until lunch time. Sounds logical right?

Caitlyn stayed home from school on Thursday because she had a fever. She started showing signs of a cold on Monday, of course, the day before school starts. BY Thursday she was coughing and sneezing and had a fever. So she didn't have to take a snack to school.

On Friday, I packed Cate's lunch and put in a snack of Cheerios (the plain old cardboard ones, not honey nut) and raisins mixed together in a baggie. Dropped her off at my mom's and took myself to work. When I got to mom's after work to pick her up, I checked her bag for papers and looked in her lunch box to see what she had eaten. Imagine my surprise when I found that her entire snack was still in her lunch box completely untouched. I asked her why she didn't eat it. I figured maybe she wasn't feeling well or just wasn't hungry, despite the fact that her entire sandwich had been eaten. She got all teary eyed and said:

"Mrs. L said I couldn't eat that for a snack because it wasn't a fruit or a vegetable."

I was shocked but not overly concerned. I asked her if the teacher then gave her something to have as a snack since she couldn't eat what she had brought. Nope. My kid sat there with no snack. Now correct me if I am wrong, but the whole purpose of the snack is to help kids make it through until lunch, and you took my kid's snack away and didn't replace it with anything, thus defeating the purpose of helping her get through until lunch?

Cate then told me that a friend of hers shared her snack with her. So I am glad that she had something to hold her over.

I have numerous issues with what transpired over this snack. Here is a nice little list of things that this teacher will be getting an email about:

1. Raisins are in fact fruit, they are simply dried fruit. Grapes really. So she should have at least been able to eat those.
2. Cheerios are marketed as a healthy snack as they have been known to aid in lowering cholesterol. They are basically grains and oats and are nothing more than a healthy snack.
3. How dare you refuse my child her snack because you deem it to be unhealthy and then not replace it with something that you find to be more appropriate?
4. Are you seriously questioning my judgement about what I feed my child? Do you think that I don't know what makes a healthy snack for her? I understand some parents need teaching in this arena, I however, am not one of those parents.
5. There are only so many fruits and vegetables that can be taken as a snack that fall into your guidelines of disposable packaging (which by the way is a horrible lesson to teach kids when you are always spouting about recycling and saving the earth), no utensil required, not sticky, and not disruptive. So if I choose to mix things up for my kid and make her snacks a little more interesting, how is that wrong?

Caitlyn and I did go out on Saturday and pick up a bunch of things that she could take for snacks. Naturally we got grape tomatoes (was there a question?), we got some carrot sticks, apples, bananas, and some dried fruit. I told her that if she wanted to, she could take some tomatoes and carrots on Monday. To which she replied that she is only allowed one snack.

Now, I really get that this teacher wants these kids eating healthy. You don't have to stress that to me. But I have one of the healthiest eaters on the block when it comes to 7 year olds. She would turn down junk food for tomatoes any day. She turns away cake at just about every damn birthday party we go to. The kid takes peas to school in her lunch because she loves them so much. She probably eats more of a variety of fruits and vegetables than most kids her age. So we are not the parents that need to be preached to about presenting healthy meal and snack choices to our kid.

Matt and I are drafting an email. He was actually going to go into the school on Monday during his free period to talk to the principal about it. So if he is his fired up about it, I know that it's a big deal, since he is usually the one telling me that I am over reacting. I told him that before we go into the school hissing and spitting, we need to contact the teacher. As teachers, we both know how pissed off we get when parents completely skip that step and go straight to administration. I also told him that I am proof reading the email before it goes out as I know that Matt can get hot headed at times. We are also sending it from his email account as it will have the Chicago Public Schools address attached to it, which he feels will be more powerful. And we are also copying the principal on it. Matt feels it is a power struggle move by this teacher. And I think I have to agree with him.

So please, please, cross your fingers that this is not the way that the entire year is going to go.

Really?!?!?!?

Has it been over a month? Ok, so the reason that I haven't posted any updates is because......yeah, I have no excuse whatsoever. Other than the fact that the girl and I were enjoying all of our summer days together. It was fabulous. Splendid. Exhausting. We went on vacation to the lake a couple more times. Slept in a bunch of days. Swam at mom's in the pool. Went to the park. Pulled weeds in the yard. And just had an overall fantastic time.

And now we are back to the real world of school and homework and work and dance classes and brownies and team meetings and IEP meetings and football practice and football games. It's never ending and I remember why I love summer months so much every August/September when we arrive in this place once again. So here is a recap of the last week as it has been probably the most eventful of the summer (how is that even possible?).

I returned to work last Monday. All was going wonderful until 2:00 when I received an email from the admin office saying I had to stop by there to pick up a letter that was delivered for me. It came certified mail and was from a law office. Yeah. Fun. Turns out it is a subpeona for a deposition. I will not (and can not) go into details here about what it involves, but needless to say, it completely sucks. So happy first day of school for me. We are now done with the first week, and things are in full swing. Almost to the point that it seems I never left for 2 1/2 months.

Matt's team has been furiously practicing and managed to win their first game on Saturday. It was a really good game and his team looks great this year. So hopefully he will have a good season. Because we all know that Matt having a good season also equates to a happy husband, wife, and household.

Caitlyn is fantastic. She is wearing her glasses like a champ and loves wearing them. The most exciting thing that happened to her this summer is that she had a tooth knocked out. Yes, you read that right. My little lady who is always the girliest girl on the block, managed to get her tooth knocked right out of her mouth. She was swimming in the pool on Sunday and she and all the kids were splashing around like crazy and she got hit in the mouth. We didn't know right away that her tooth was missing until she started laughing and had blood all over her teeth. Gross, I know. The funniest part of the story is that one of the other little girls there said she was going to find the tooth. I shrugged it off, because it was a baby tooth in a big pool that had a blue and white speckled liner. Lo and behold that child came up about 47 seconds later with the damn tooth in her hand. Caitlyn was a trooper about the whole thing and was thrilled to learn that the tooth fairy leaves more money for teeth that are knocked out as opposed to those that fall out naturally. Thanks Mom.

Today was the first day of second grade. Holy smoke.....did you read that right??? SECOND GRADE!!!! How in the hell did that happen? She is excited and yet very nervous. She knows that things pick up in second grade and that more is required of her. I am sure she will be just fine cause she is the smartest little second grader that I have ever met (not that I am biased or anything). She looked so mature to me when I took the picture. We have let her bangs grow out this summer and they have gotten quite long. And a few weeks ago we went and got her hair cut much shorter than we usually keep it. And now she just looks like a "kid." Not a little kid anymore, a full blown kid.

And finally, for your viewing pleasure, first day of school pics with her glasses: